Mini Review of Book-In-Progress: "A Game of Thrones"

Sorsha has been after me for months in her gentle way (No, really. She doesn't pressure. She knows better. Almost no one manipulates me better than her) to start reading the first book in A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Game of Thrones.

I've had the damn book for over a year. I bought it at a used book store when she first started talking about it and I'd heard about the series from my fellow geeks online. Mostly, they were bitching about the next book not being out. And then Neil Gaiman told them to shut up about it and that was fun. So, I picked up the book, took one look at all the characters with the crazy names and put it back down. I'd look at it longingly on occasion, but went on to other things. But I really wanted to get it read before the HBO miniseries with the AWESOME cast came on. In April. I think I've got time. But you know. Time gets away from you. And then there was this preview.

Yeah. I need to get on that.

So, I started it this week. DETERMINED.

After numerous texts to Sorsha (And pouncing on her at work), visits to the IMDB page (Sometimes it helps if I can get mental pictures of the characters in my mind) and the Wikipedia page (Careful there if you're spoiler-averse) and I've mostly got my brain wrapped around the thirty or so primary and secondary characters and the "rules" of the world they live in.

And it's so fucking awesome. It's like a really mean, dirty (Both in sexual terms and like, grime) Middle Earth. Everyone is complex and layered and morally ambiguous. My favorite character is still Daenerys, nicknamed Dany, a thirteen-year-old deposed princess married off by her asshole brother to a warlord so he (The asshole brother) can build his army and get his throne back. She's terrified (And who wouldn't be?) but eventually comes to like her scary husband (Jason Momoa is playing him in the mini, if that tells you anything) and, more importantly, realizes that she needs to toughen the fuck up if she's going to survive. And she DOES and it's AWESOME. Also, that picture of her from IMDB immediately made me think of the Jungle Queen from The Maxx. 90s nostalgia!

So, reading continues and I need to order the next three books off of Amazon. WOOOO!!!

P.S. Three guesses as to why I used the Flowers in the Attic tag. Hee.

Living in West Virginia During the Mine Tragedy...again...

Be forewarned: this is a rambling rant, but I'm angry and this is what happens when I get angry. You may not like me when I'm angry. I don't care.

As if you couldn't tell from the title of this blog, I'm a Jersey girl; however, my beloved is a West Virginian and we all now live here; I love this state and the people here. All that being said, I'd like to give you, dear readers, a glimpse into just why the coal mining tragedy is such a huge deal to every person here.

Being from NJ, when I tell you that I'm from a working-class family I mean that I am from a family of postal workers, school teachers, and engineers; you know - Bruce Springsteen song kinda stuff. My Beau is from WV. Although his family is now considered 'well-off' (hello - a moat!!), he too is from a working class family. But in WV a working class family is something totally different from (quite literally) anywhere else in America. Beau is from coal miners and farmers as is everyone else; every person whose family has lived in WV for more than two generations is tied to coal somehow. Beau's grandmother, although in no way related to any of the persons affected by the recent tragedy was devastated by the events because her husband, seventy years ago, was a miner. Her father was a miner and she proudly has the hard hat and headlamp he used. These deaths brought back the fears and worry that she had daily; her heart was broken for these women and children whose worst fears came true.

It took about two hours from the announcement of the mine explosion before I witnessed the two churches visible from my front porch to start gathering in order to organize their collecting of food and money for the people affected; two hours and we live 90 minutes away! People are running to their churches and other nonprofit organizations to donate what they can for these people because everyone in some way, is tied to the coal industry here.

I am continually amazed at how many people are tied to the coal industry and despite how dangerous the working conditions and the job's history of violence, these people are proud of their job and the people they work with. I'm not even a native here, but my blood boils when people in DC and the entertainment industry try to step in to our state and tell us how we're doing things wrong.

People are quick to make fun of and criticize West Virgina, but the reality is that 8 out of 1o Americans don't use their minds enough to realize that West Virginia is a state, not just western Virginia.

It's Banned Books Week -- Go Piss Someone Off With A Book!

Hey babies, it's Banned Books Week! I LOVE Banned Books Week! Because I can feel like a revolutionary just by curling up with a cup of tea and a copy of Harry Potter. HAHAHA! Plus, this blog is named after a flagship banned book Flowers in the Attic. So, naturally, the topic is dear to my and Mame's hearts.

I just don't understand the mentality of banning books. It's a BOOK. It already exists. Banning it doesn't poof it into the ether. If you don't want your kid to read it, TELL your kid he or she can't read it. If you don't want anyone else to read it, fuck you. We grown-ups can all decide for ourselves what we can and can't read.

I can think of exactly three books that my mother told me I wasn't allowed to read when I was a kid: The World According to Garp, the uncut version of The Stand and My Sweet Audrina. She told me I would be allowed to read them when I was 13 or so. I did read them when I was 13. She was right. They were above my maturity level, even then. You know what? The parts that I didn't understand went riiiight over my sweet little head. When I reread them as an adult, I kind of went, "Oh. OHHH. WOW. OK."

So, I pulled up the list of the 100 Most Frequently "Challenged" Books from 1990-1999, the era when I was pretty much under my own supervision as far as books went. My mom wasn't at all into censoring my reading but once I hit my teens, I could read whatever. And did! Here are some of my favorites from the list:

• Earth's Children (series) by Jean M. Auel; You know, The Clan of the Cave Bear, etc. Heh, I love these books. Except for the last one, Shelters of Stone. That one kind of sucked. I remember the conversation thread about these books on the sadly defunct yet fondly remembered Fametracker forums. Someone made the comment that these books could "provide QUITE the sexual education." HA. SO. TRUE. I guess that's why they're frequently banned!
  
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. I...have no idea why this book would be banned. It's a story about how love and friendship can overcome any obstacle. That's bad because...why? I may be a bit biased because it's one of my favorite books EVER, but I just don't get it.
• Go Ask Alice by "Anonymous." AHAHAHAHA. This terrible book! I can't believe it gets banned. Doesn't this seem like EXACTLY the kind of book that people who ban books would want kids to read? All about the evils of sex, drugs, rock and/or roll music and not listening to your parents! Plus, it's a total fake.
• The Bluest Eye and Beloved by Toni Morrison. Riiight. Because these aren't important works of literature or anything. One is a book about child abuse and racism and the other is about slavery. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DISTURBING.
  
• Ordinary People by Judith Guest. Uh, do kids read that book? Seriously?
• Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume. Yes, God forbid that young girls be aware of what's going on with their bodies. SHOCKING.
  
• The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Yeah, everyone needs to read this book. No one should ever watch the movie. But the book? Totally.
• The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. Ok, this book isn't literature or anything. But it's very readable and still connects with kids today. It was written in 1967! Now THAT'S longevity and it obviously still has something to say. Plus, the movie is a total gift to the Kevin Bacon Game. (Tom Cruise was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon. You're welcome.)

So, tell us about your favorite banned books!

Things That Are Awesome: The Wire: Season 4

My brother BW and I are currently embroiled in season 4 of The Wire. IT'S SO GOOD, YOU GUYS. I think this one might be my favorite so far. Each season has focused on different aspects of the drug trade. Season 1 was mostly about the cops and the dealers and their various machinations. (Here, have this video of one of my very favorite S.1 scenes as D'Angelo Barkesdale lays out the game.) Season 2 featured, you know, more drugs but also the stevedores at the harbor and how their jobs are falling off and life sucks for everyone. (At one point, I said to BW, "Um. Will I *CARE* about Polish dockworkers at some point?" Cue to 10 episodes later when I'm weeping over Polish dockworkers.) Season 3 was more drugs and the mayoral campaign. (Season 3 was probably my least favorite season so far. But that's like choosing my least favorite kind of chocolate. No such thing!)

But, oh, Season 4, with your focus on the crumbling school districts of Baltimore. YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART. BW assures me that I'll be weeping by the end. Gee, can't wait!

Seriously, everyone should watch this show. Volstaag, you would totally like it. Dan Mac, are you still watching?

Confidential to the email girls: Ring, ring!

Hey California!

Fuck. You.

There's A Lot Of SMASH Going Around Today...

Are you fucking kidding me with this? SERIOUSLY? This actually had me so angry that I was almost in tears reading that article. TEARS OF RAGE. If you didn't click on the article, the United States refused to sign a U.N. declaration asking to decriminalize homosexuality. REFUSED TO SIGN IT. The motion was to DECRIMINALIZE it, not make it communicable. UGH. And of course, we're the only western nation that didn't sign it. I am very sorry, Rest of the World. I'm sorry we're such assholes. Most of us are hoping that things will improve in about 32 days and that our dickishness will decrease at least 67%. I live in hope...

Hey kids! Want a racist or anti-Semitic birthday cake? Go to Walmart! I'm so proud to be from New Jersey AND a Shop Rite shopper. Heheheh. I have to give Mame credit for linking me to that one. She was on that shit before everyone else went crazy over it. Also, read the comments on just about ANY article on the subject and have fun watching people misunderstand the First Amendment. Apparently, birthday cake is a Constitutionally-protected right! In that case, I DEMAND vanilla cake, buttercream icing and edible glitter! And I want it decorated with a picture of Gerard Way's face. And those sparkler candles.

I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY CAKE.

I've figured it out!...or, how I am going to win your arguement against Obama as a president.

OK, my very good friend, and pen-pal Henry Rollins, once said, "Know your enemy. Listen to your enemy. Get to know them on a serious level, then you can figure out where they are coming from and why. Then you can break down their arguments on a more personal level."

That being said, I've figured out this entire Anti-Obama stance that some people in the USA are taking. Here are the top five arguments I've heard and my response to them:

Argument One:
I don't agree with his policies. The things he mentioned in the campaign, I don't agree with them!

Answer:
The president cannot fix/destroy taxes on his own, nor can he make changes to the constitution on his own. During the campaign (this one and all the others before it) candidates explain what they would do to fix certain things wrong with our country; however, a president cannot do anything alone. They need congress to back them up. I realize that we now have a Democratic congress and it will be easier for a Democratic president to get bills passed, etc. but the Equal Rights Amendment never did pass despite having a same sided-congress/executive branch. And that was the Equal Rights Amendment!!

Argument Two:
That preacher he hangs out with - he's a radical! And Obama won't renounce him!

Answer:
My father is a terrible racist. He's tried to overcome it, but he's from a different era, and has had a different view on things than I. But he's my father. He says things I don't agree with and does things that I can't understand. I can't renounce him -he gave me life, and provided for me. He's not perfect, but I'm certainly not going to condemn him in public.
Obama didn't have a father, and this man brought him to Christ. As a Christian the person who is with you when you finally make the decision to turn your life over to Christ is a mentor, a father-figure. He says things that Obama says that he doesn't agree with, but he can't renounce him or what he says. I understand that.

Argument Three:
He's a Muslim! His middle name is Hussein!!

Answer:
He's not. We can see his taxes (thank you, Freedom of Information Act) and we see that he tithes regularly to the aforementioned church. Also, if he WAS a Muslim (which he is not) we have a freedom of religion just as important as our right to bear arms.
And as far as Hussein...it's a name. It means "good" or "beautiful" and is a very popular and common name. During the 1940's, the most popular name in Europe (and widely used in the US as well) was Adolf. We can't help what people who have our name do.

Argument Four:
He's the anti-Christ! It's been predicted in the Bible!

Answer:
OK, it's been awhile since I took my religion classes in college, but I took my first one in spring of 2000. There was a lot of talk that the end of the world was predicted in the year 2000. So we talked about the various predictions in the Bible and if I remember accurately: 1 John chapter 2 refers to many Antichrists present at the time while warning of one Antichrist that is coming. The "many Antichrists" belong to the same spirit as that of the one Antichrist. John wrote that such Antichrists deny "that Jesus is the Christ", "the Father and the Son", and would "not confess Jesus came in the flesh." Likewise, the one Antichrist denies the Father and the Son.
This one Antichrist is spoken of in more detail by Paul in 2 Thessalonians chapter 2. Paul uses the term man of sin to describe what John identifies as the Antichrist. Paul writes that this Man of Sin (sometimes translated son of perdition) will possess a number of characteristics. These include "sitting in the temple", opposing himself against anything that is worshiped, claiming divine authority, working all kinds of counterfeit miracles and signs, and doing all kinds of evil. Daniel 11:36-37 speaks of a self exalting king, considered by some to be the Antichrist.
OK, after all that: even if he is, there isn't anything we can do about it. But I seriously doubt that an elected official of a not even three-hundred year old country is anything of the sort.

Argument Five:
He has no experience!! How can he run our country with no experience?!!

Answer:
George Washington had no experience either. He only knew his farm and the battle ground. But he led our country during its formative years. Neither did James Madison, John Q. Adams, Abraham Lincoln, or JFK (among others). The beauty of our country is that you don't have to have executive experience to be elected. That means that anyone can be president...anyone!! Isn't that wonderful?

God I love being American.

HELL YEAH!!!!!

Oh my GOD, YOU GUYS. OH MY GOD!!!!!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

President Barack Obama.

I am so proud. Especially of you, Sid.

Vote, Babies!

[Note: this is not a directive to actual babies. They can't vote. They are not old enough.]

So, the election is tomorrow. I'M SO NERVOUS, YOU GUYS. I mean, I'm glad it's here, because for fuck's sake, it feels like this election has been going on for about five years. Seriously. It's been FOREVER. And man, has it just been bringing out rather...unattractive sides in a lot of people.

I think it's obvious from my usual content around here that I really want Barack Obama to win. I really, really do. PLEASE. BRING US A CHANGE OF LEADERSHIP. PLEASE.

Please, everyone, vote. Stand in the lines. Make your voice heard. Please don't just assume that since your state historically goes a certain way that it will again and that your vote is not needed. IT IS. I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir here, but in case I'm not...VOTE YOUR ASSES OFF. Plus, I think Starbucks is giving away free coffee if you vote. Hey, whatever gets people to the polls, right?

My one caveat is this: If you're not going to vote for Obama SOLELY because you don't want to vote for a black guy? Stay the fuck home. No one wants to hear your voice. Asshole.

Finally, a quote from The West Wing that entertains me endlessly:

"Because I'm tired of working for candidates who make me think that I should be embarrassed to believe what I believe, Sam! I'm tired of getting them elected! We all need some therapy, because somebody came along and said, 'Liberal means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense, and we're gonna tax you back to the Stone Age because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to!' And instead of saying, 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave It To Beaver trip back to the Fifties...!', we cowered in the corner, and said, 'Please. Don't. Hurt. Me.' No more. I really don't care who's right, who's wrong. We're both right. We're both wrong. Let's have two parties, huh? What do you say?" -Bruno Gianelli, Gone Quiet

In fact, if you're so inclined, leave me your favorite The West Wing or various election-related quote in the comments. Happy Election Day, everyone!

This American Zzzzzzzzzzzz...

Ok, NPR junkie over here, right? My favorite podcast is This American Life. I have such a crush on Ira Glass, you guys. (Ira! Call me! We have so much in common! I have nerdy glasses too! We could be SOUL MATES!) Frequently, the show makes me cry. Like last week's segment about the daughter who went to prison to be with her mom, who was serving time for murder. (No, Mom. I'm not going to go to prison if you should ever go. I don't CARE if that makes me a bad daughter, ok? I have a delicate constitution!) Anyway, I love it a lot. So, this week's show is titled "Another Frightening Show About The Economy." I was excited to listen to it so maybe I could finally understand what's going on. I had a lot of data entry-type stuff to do at work that requires approximately 1/4 of my brain, so perfect timing, right?

Oh my GOD, YOU GUYS. I almost fell asleep! Not even the This American Life staff could make that stuff REMOTELY interesting to me. Except for vague feelings of impotent anger that I occasionally felt a twinge of, I WAS SO BORED.

Ugh, maybe if someone could explain it with songs and dance sequences? I feel really stupid right now...

I...Um...Really?

Sarah Palin says, "There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women."

...

SERIOUSLY?

IRONIC, I THINK. I MEAN, DOES SHE REALLY NOT GET THAT?!?!?! She doesn't support a woman's right to choose EVEN IN THE CASE OF RAPE OR INCEST. There's the whole charging for a sexual assault exam. SHE WILLINGLY STANDS NEXT TO JOHN MCCAIN, A MAN WHO CALLS HIS WIFE A "CUNT" IN PUBLIC. A MAN WHO DOESN'T THINK BIRTH CONTROL SHOULD BE COVERED BY INSURANCE COMPANIES. A MAN WHO HAS DEMONSTRATED NUMEROUS TIMES THAT HE THINKS WOMEN ARE AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS, SECOND CLASS CITIZENS.

I'm seriously starting to think that we are all being Punk'd. Wouldn't that be comforting and make more sense?

Holy Shit I'm a Republican?!

OK, maybe not. But by textbook, most of my views are considered very conservative.
In my line of work (molding young minds, squelching their ideals, and the like) I'm asked quite often about my view on today's politics. I usually meander my way away from such questions, but it's been very hard to these days.
Today, during a rather blah moment at work, I did some research regarding my politics and where I stand on what the media is calling today's "hot issues."

1. I want to be left the fuck alone. I do not the president of telling me what to do with my body nor my means of self-protection.
2. I don't want someone from New Hampshire telling me in West Virginia what to do, ever. I firmly believe that the governor should be more powerful than the senators, yet it doesn't seem so anymore. Things like the death penalty, environmental issues, and education should always be a state's decision; the federal government has no right to interfere.
3. The welfare system, social security, and medicare/Medicaid are failing. No, they have failed. There is no fixing them. They need to be completely re hauled and a better system put in place. A country is only as good as how they treat their poor and their elderly. By these standards America is a third-world nation.
4. Freedom of speech was so important that it is listed in the FIRST AMENDMENT of the Bill of Rights. So is religion. I think that the greatest, most wonderful thing about my country is that I don't have to agree with you, but I am proud that we have the freedom to disagree.
5. This whole immigration thing? My great-grandparents were immigrants. There is nothing wrong with anyone, of any class, of any nation to come to America. The problem is that we have created so much red tape and nonsense that only the elite and rich can legally come. I've taught illegal immigrants and spoken at great length with their parents; they would gladly pay into our social security and tax system if they could stay. Why not make them? Don't send them back, don't put up a damn fence (idiots), just help them to become legal, and let them pay into our system.
6. Health care in America and Lobbyists go hand in hand; because of this, America will never have a universal health care OR campaign reform.

I love my country. I love the ideals that my country was founded on. I can't stand what we have become. I can't stand that while American soldiers are dying around the world to protect our freedoms, over 80% of Americans can't point out where the soldiers are on a map. I can't stand that our leadership is so corrupted that they can't see beyond their own cattle ranch.

OK, I'm done now.

Boy, I Just Can't WAIT For November! How 'Bout You?

Ok, seriously? NO. REALLY. SERIOUSLY?! (If you don't feel like clicking the link, it's a USA Today article detailing how rape victims in Alaska were CHARGED FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT EXAMS. Somewhere between $500-$1200. This was while Sarah Palin, candidate for Vice President, in case you've been living in an ocean trench or something, was mayor of Wasilla.) No, you read that right. But here, let me say that again, louder:

WOMEN WHO REPORTED BEING RAPED AND WENT TO A HOSPITAL FOR EVIDENCE COLLECTION AND TREATMENT WERE BILLED.

I...this pisses me of so much. I'd heard of cities trying to pull that shit but as far as I knew, it was generally shouted down pretty quickly because it's fucking ridiculous. I didn't know anyone had actually DONE it. I LOVE the police chief's comment that he felt that it was an unfair burden on the taxpayers, paying for rape exams. Hey dude? You know what's an unfair burden? SEXUAL ASSAULT. OK? And of course, no big deal, they'd just bill the victim's insurance. Yeah, great. As long as she wasn't one of the MILLIONS of Americans who are uninsured. Or the other millions who have shitty insurance.

Jesus. Women are judged for being raped. They're judged for not reporting the crime. (Don't EVEN get me STARTED on the whole "Well, if she doesn't report it and the guy rapes someone else, then it's her fault!" UM. NO. A world of no. If you believe that, well. I...don't really have much to say to you, actually.) Then if they do decide to report it and go to the hospital like they're "supposed" to, THEY GET PRESENTED WITH A FUCKING BILL.

Ok, under no circumstances did McCain/Palin have my vote. That was never going to happen. McCain could pick Patti Smith as his running mate and I still wouldn't vote for that shit. (Hold on. I need to wrap my brain around THAT mental picture...HA.) Palin pisses me off on just about every issue: gun control, gay marriage, abortion rights, birth control (The Pills is NOT an abortifacient, people.), the environment, sex education, immigration...much like McCain. And I'm personally offended that the McCain camp apparently thinks that women are interchangeable, all, "Hey, if you liked Hillary, you'll love Sarah! See? Boobs! AWESOME, RIGHT?" (For a laugh on this subject, please view this fine video. Feel a little better? Anyway.) But this just enrages me.

If this turns out to be untrue, that would be awesome, actually. I still would never in a million years vote for McCain/Palin, but at least a little of my FUCKING FAITH IN HUMANITY would be restored. What do you guys think?

Adam and Steve, My Liberal ASS.

You guys? I was in tears over this. How cool is that? That lesbian couple in their 80s FINALLY getting to marry each other? AWESOME.

Anti-gay marriage people? Suck it.

Vote DAMMIT!!

"It's the day of the primary ya'll!!"
I live in North Carolina, and today is our day to vote in the primary. This is a big deal. VOTE.
I took my two year old with me this morning. He was very quiet, but squealed with delight when I let him press the "VOTE" button and he watched the screen melt away and a happy face pop up confirming that I have utilized my voice as an American citizen. Did he have any idea what was going on? No, he's two. Am I going to instill in him the fact that this is a very important part of his life? Yes. Keep tuned in for updates as to who wins.

National Scrapbook Day...or why my weekend wasn't wasted (for the first time)

I sit at work today as my students are watching the Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo and Juliet, so I don't have much to do. Let me update you on my weekend:

• Friday was a Ladies' Night at the Scrapbook Room. Have I ever talked about what a scrapbook/altered art whore I am? Because I am. Part of it would be the fact that I have a very photogenic little man and his adorable pictures need to be preserved. That blossomed into taking classes to learn about different techniques to make my scrapbooks look nicer, and then I developed a love for this stuff called "altered art." Basically it's taking scrapbook techniques and applying them to furniture, books, luggage, etc. Wow, I sound like a nerd. Oh well, if you haven't guess by now... Anyway, I love Friday night scraps; there are a lot of other teachers that attend and we laugh and have a great time. It's every other Friday and I look forward to these nights like a holiday. The owner of the store is this hilarious New Yorker who I call "Mom." We have the weirdest things in common, like mannerisms and such. Because she's from up north we have a lot of the same frustrations regarding the culture here. Check out her store here (PS...her prices are LOWER than anywhere else - even eBay, I've checked!)
• Saturday was National Scrapbook day. Beau took Glow Bug for the day and I got to sit and scrapbook ALL DAY LONG. It was so much fun. Mom had a different sale every hour. Did I spend way too much money? Probably. Did I only get a few things done because I was laughing and goofing around? Yes. Do I care? No.
• The "George Bush Relief Check" came in. This makes up for the money I spent at the scrapbook store. I think it's funny that our President is giving us money to make up for the millions, check that billions, he's wasted on this war. Wait, let me get off my soapbox.
• Sunday Beau cleaned off our back deck and we had a cookout. Agnes came over and we had hotdogs and the fixins, then played cards. Glow Bug LOVES to play cards. We deal him in and he sits back and plays basically a memory type game to himself while we play a hand. It's so cute to watch. We took so many pictures of absolutely nothing. I can't wait to scrapbook them.
• I finally watched Knocked Up. I know, I'm a year behind. That movie was so cute. I cracked up and then sobbed a lot at the end. That song that plays during the credits, "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright III made me sob - and I have a boy! I hate those Wainwrights. The song, "Hallelujah" that he sang makes me cry every time. Jerks.

This is a boring blog. I know. But I'm bored today, so what are you gonna do? You're gonna read it and complain about it in a comment. And I'm gonna laugh. So who wins?

Baldwin Family Crisis or Why I Didn't Major in Theology

All right. It's been awhile since you've been graced with my presence. Hopefully Bea's last post about my horrifying condition has explained why. I've got a lot of stuff written down that I need to post officially; however, today I need to write about an issue close to my heart: Stephen Baldwin.

Now let me preface this blog by explaining that although Alec and my relationship is a strong one* I am tested by his family on a semi-regular basis (note this blog about Celebrity Rehab). Recently his youngest brother, Stephen, has decided it is his place to comment on the state of Gay/Lesbian marriages and adoptions. My first reaction was to yell "FUCK YOU," but after talking with Alec** I have decided that the best place to vent my frustrations with the situation is here on my blog.

Recently Stephen called into the Howard Stern show - really the place to air your political views, especially those about gays and lesbians - and had this to say, "I don’t believe that gay marriage is in line with God’s Word, which is found in the Bible. So, what I think doesn’t matter; what I believe is what’s in the Bible and the Bible says that gay marriage is not acceptable"

Let me educate you all in case you weren't aware:
As far as my (granted limited) knowledge goes, the only place in the Bible that it discusses gays is in the Old Testament. One of the laws for the Jewish states not to "lay with another man." If you are a Christian, which I am, we believe that when Jesus Christ came and died for our sins and his disciples wrote the events of His word, we follow that Testament. It always gets to me when Christians quote the Old Testament. Rabbis and teachers of the Jewish faith have been studying and arguing about the writings of the Old Testament for centuries and here comes some new wave Christian who claims to know exactly what God meant in each passage. Anyway, that's just my view on the religious debate, but that's not the point I am trying to make with Stephen.

Here is my point to him:
Stephen, I don't think someone whose only 'main stream' movie is called Threesome and ends with a threesome of two men and a woman, should be telling anyone that Gay and Lesbian marriage is wrong.

At the latest family dinner***, Billy (the middle child) had this to say to Stephen "Well if you had a choice - if you and your wife were to die and your kids were still young, and you had a choice between your children being in foster care and potentially being physically and emotionally and sexually abused, as opposed to being adopted by a loving, healthy, caring lesbian or gay couple, what would you rather have?" He couldn't really answer, and Billy said, "Thank God Dad isn't here on this earth right now, because he would be so devastated and so horrified."
It made things a little uncomfortable, but I think he gets the point.



*Note: strong as in my love for him is strong, and he, well, just goes about his day as if I am just a "fan"
**By talking with Alec, I mean watching the latest episode of 30 Rock
***By family dinner I mean I read this on msn.com

OMG

Now, this is normally not our 'thing': to hyperlink our readers movie clips, etc; however, this is 100% what I feel like. The people in charge need to have this dialogue or at least listen to it.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/83c89d331a

Hey Bea! Hey come here, shut the door. Look I made cookies! OK, sit down. We need to talk.

Dear Bea,

I wanted to write you this letter to inform you that if you do not get help today I will close out my half of the blog.

When we first decided to create a blog together, we discussed topics like the 34th Anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, you reviewd the movie Children of Men, and the state of our country's educational system.

When you went decided that every aspect of our real identities needed to be hidden because you saw that one Lifetime Made-For-TV-movie about stalkers, I understood. In fact, you chose a name based on Shakespeare. SHAKESPEARE BEA!! But now, now I feel like I don't even know you. Your entries on Friday Night Lights, My Chemical Romance, and Supernatural are starting to worry me. I guess I should have noticed the signs when you wrote that entry about Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry. But, to be honest, I liked that song a lot too.

At first, sure I thought it was funny. It was fun - I even wrote a little about Lindsay Lohan. But then you started prattling on about The Golden Compass and then the writer's strike happened and it seems you've plunged deeply into this, this place that I can't seem to pull you out of.
We used to write one or two blogs about our silly ways, but we peppered each entry with witty Dennis-Miller-esc comments that seemed to us to be so far above the average blogger's intelligence. Remember that, Bea? Remember when we used to be unique?

I am doing this because I love you. Because I love this blog. Because I am afraid that one day I will wake up to a blog entry written about "How Cool the VC Andrews Broken Flower Books Are." Do you know that thought keeps me up some nights? The idea of my brainy, clumsy, Lisa Loeb glasses wearing friend will start enjoying the ghost writer that has claimed our beloved VC Andrews style?

I am writing this to you today, Lady Bea, to ask you to get help. Will you get help?

Angelina Jolie Point/Counterpoint

Auntie Mame:

I hate Angelina Jolie.
Ugh.

For a myriad of reasons I am annoyed by her and the characters she chooses to portray on the 'big screen.' I'll even go so far as to say that I hate every movie she has been in; well, except for Girl, Interrupted, but to be fair, I hated her character in that movie (I suppose that was the point however). I mean, c'mon have you ever seen Gia? Oh or how about her playing Colin Farrell's mother in Alexander? Yeah, great accent. She should have just done the Kevin-Costner-in-Robin-Hood-Route and not used one at all. At least then I could have dealt with her piss-poor performance.

Oh and stop complaining about the paparazzi. I'm sick and tired about how she hates her father and never shuts up about it. No matter how she spins it, she has always led a life of luxury whether Daddy gave her enough hugs or not. I understand that Dad left and her mom had a hard time dealing with men, but calm down. You went to the best schools, lived in the best houses, you weren't exactly living in an apartment on the Delaware River, New Jersey side.

Oh and don't get me started about this, "I hate the media, but take my picture anyway" attitude of hers. She creates a media frenzy to promote her newest picture; fine, that's the business, but all her complaints piss me off. When you eat at places like Mr. Chow's in West Hollywood, you are going to be seen by the cameras; you know it, I know you know it, it's part of your job. If you don't want to be part of the "Hollywood Scene" and you don't want your children to grow up cross-eyed because of the flashbulbs then move your skinny ass out to Montanta like Demi and Bruce did. THAT'S RIGHT I just compared her to Demi Moore. That's how much I hate her. There are places in this country that you can live and not have US magazine going through your trash. Don't talk that you have to be in Hollywood for your job, you're big enough they will come to you.

"Oh, but Mame she does such good things for the world. Look at her Mia-Farrow-esque-Rainbow-Coalition of children." The world is starving, I know that. We all know that. But you know what else I know? I know that there are poor kids here in America that can use her help. I don't see a Brad and Angelina low-rent apartment complex going up in Harlem, do you? Sorry bitch, there are kids starving outside your door. Adopt one of them. Notice she's not running out and adopting a little crack-addicted, baby of a 13 year old mother from the US? Apparently she's all political now, so she should know how screwed up our system is. Use your money over here and help.

Ok, I'm done now. Let me sum it up: she's a piss poor actress, a photo-loving hypocrite, and someone who is blind to the needs of her own country, hell STATE, yet is willing to help overseas. Ugh, so whatever.

"Lady" Bea reacts and over-reacts (heh):

Ok, so, Mame and I were arguing over the awesomeness/suckiness of Angelina Jolie and I was like, "Dude. That's our next blog." And she was all, "DONE."

I like Angelina Jolie. I like her a lot. I wouldn't say she's one of my favorite actresses or anything; her mere presence in a movie does NOT make me run out and see it, but it doesn't deter me either. Although, as I was thinking about this blog entry and what I was going to write, I realized I haven't seen THAT many of her movies. Especially her "big" movies. I have NOT seen (and probably won't because my reasons for ignoring them are valid): Tomb Raider (although I did watch bits of Tomb Raider 2 because of certain Gerard Butler issues that I've mostly resolved), Pushing Tin, The Bone Collector, Gone in 60 Seconds (which I TRIED to watch for Christopher Eccleston, but I just couldn't do it. Sorry Chris!), Shark Tale, Sky Captain or Alexander. I also have NO intention of seeing Beowulf: 1. Because I fucking loath Beowulf. 2. Because the soulless, dead eyes of CGI people horrify me.

But, of the movies of hers I HAVE seen, I LOVE them. And I love her in them. For example:

• Hackers; I know deep down that it's not really a good movie. I don't care. I bought it from the $5.99 Walmart bin and it's worth every penny. I probably would have gone up as far as $9.99 for it! Heh. Everyone in it is really cute and wearing tight, shiny clothes and doing weird shit with computers. It's a great hungover/home sick movie.
• Girl, Interrupted; Angelina is AWESOME in this movie. God, the scene where she just takes that girl Daisy apart and the horrible look of triumph on her face...DAMN. And also the exchange where she's holding a pen to her throat and threatens to "jam it in [her] aorta" and is told that her aorta is in her chest. "Good to know!" Heh. Cracks me up.
• Playing by Heart; I passionately love BITS of this movie. When I watch it, I fast-forward through any scenes (until the end) that aren't about these couples: Gillian Anderson/Jon Stewart, Gena Rowlands/Sean Connery and Angelina Jolie/Ryan Phillippe. I am brutally indifferent to all the other characters and storylines. But I ADORE Angelina's Joan. She's such a fun character and has such great lines. I love when she's melting down on the phone with one of her sisters and you only hear Joan's end of the conversation. At one point, Joan pulls the phone away and gives it this HILARIOUS, annoyed look and says, "I don't KNOW. Why is YOUR life so FUCKING SIMPLE?" HA. You wouldn't think that Angelina and Ryan Phillippe, of all people, would have such good chemistry, but they do. They're great together. And this bit of dialogue: Keegan (Ryan's character): What did I ever do to deserve you? Joan: Usually, that line is SCREAMED at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change. Aw.
• Mr. and Mrs. Smith; So many people hate this movie and I just don't know why. It's funny, good action, Vince Vaughn and Adam Brody are HILARIOUS in it and Angelina and Brad Pitt have smokin' chemistry. If you've not seen it because you've heard it sucks, give it a try. It's a good time.

So, yeah, I like her acting. Her personal life entertains me. Her daddy issues kind of delight me. And she always LOOKS GREAT. I've seriously never seen a bad picture of Angelina Jolie. Dressed up in formal wear? Gorgeous. Wearing jeans with 5 kids hanging off of her? Gorgeous. Wearing an eye patch? Still gorgeous. Bitch. Heh. You never seen her dragging into Starbucks looking like a homeless alcoholic. It always annoys the SHIT out of me when I see famous people doing that. Hey Olsen twins? Before I run to the grocery store, I brush my damn hair and wear clean clothes. And NO ONE is taking my picture. GOD. It's called "not being gross and/or unhygienic." Look into it. 'k?

And I don't care how many kids Angelina Jolie adopts and from where. She's talked very touchingly (I think) about her decision to adopt her first kid. She seems sincere to me. She's not OBVIOUSLY a bad mother. She and Brad look cute together. She had a really entertaining and interesting Inside the Actor's Studio, where she totally threw James Lipton for a loop a couple of times. Heh, he's such a pretentious ass, it was hilarious. Also, I've never liked Jennifer Aniston much. So, I'll be over here, wearing my Team Jolie shirt, watching Playing by Heart. Again.