Countdown to (Potential!) AWESOMENESS!

Putting aside my prickliness and various complaints about jerks on the internets: LESS THAN ONE HOUR UNTIL GAME OF THRONES!!!!!

Sorsha and my Gentleman Caller are coming over to flail with me! Well. More likely, Sorsha and I will flail with glee while GC and my mom roll their eyes.

It's gonna be GREAT.

Do you have Game of Thrones plans?

An Open Letter To Certain Male Geeks

Greetings, geeks! My name is Bea. I'm (as of last week-ish) 32 years old. I'm a college graduate. I work in social services. I bake. I knit. I read (a lot). I vote Democrat. I occasionally sparkle. I enjoy the works of Jane Austen, thunderstorms, the Oxford comma, and the laughter of children.

Oh, I'm also a geek. I've been a geek since I was a tiny little girl and I had a Dune coloring book. This Dune coloring book, actually. I also had a glow-in-the-dark He-Man sword when I was itty-bitty that I had to take in the bathroom to watch glow because I was never awake when it was dark outside. Because I was four. Later, I was a huge She-Ra fan and literally subscribed to her newsletter. I loved Star Wars, Blade Runner, The Terminator, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk, The V miniseries (both of them!), Legend, The Dark Crystal, The NeverEnding Story, Dune (the Lynch version, NEVER the Sci-Fi version, though that was much later), Labyrinth, and Conan the Barbarian. The 80s were fun, weren't they?

I was a gamer girl in the late 80s and early 90s. Look. You think it's tough being a gamer girl now? (It is, I'm sure.) Try it then. I was LITERALLY the only girl I knew who played video games. Ever. I don't play anymore but I can still fuck you up at Super Mario Bros. 1-3. My parents took me and my brother to a Nintendo Convention in Valley Forge, PA as a birthday gift. I'm guessing it was 1990 or 1991. Whatever year Super Mario Bros. 3 came out. I remember because I smoked some dude at a demo of the game. He clearly wasn't expecting that from a little girl. It was AWESOME.

I've watched The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, Space: Above and Beyond, VR-5, Harsh Realm, Dead at 21, Love and Curses, Forever Knight, Beauty and the Beast, Dark Shadows (the old 60s soap AND the early 90s remake), Mystery Science Theater 3000, Twin Peaks, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Farscape, The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Heroes, Roar, Dark Angel, Supernatural, Fringe, Roswell, Alias, Earth 2, Dark Skies, Millennium, Kindred: The Embraced, and SeaQuest DSV.

I've read Heinlein and Herbert. I've read all the Lord of the Rings books. I own the extended editions of all the movies AND the Trivial Pursuit game.

Sorsha and I have a zombie apocalypse plan and seriously. It's awesome. It's getting better by the day.

I read comic books. I go to cons. Got my picture taken with Michael Berryman. I saw The Dark Knight in the theater four times. I have the Iron Man Mr. Potato Head, Tony Starch sitting on top of my television. I have a Matchbox-sized replica of the Metallicar on my desk. My mousepad features a kingly Aragorn. I'm currently knitting a Gryffindor scarf.

As you can see from the above exhaustive list, I will watch/read/consume ANYTHING sci-fi/horror/fantasy-related. Regardless of quality as you can also see from the above list. Heh. I can authoritatively nerd out on a variety of subjects. And I do. Often. And I do all of these things despite the INCREDIBLE HANDICAP OF A PAIR OF BREASTS. SHOCKING, RIGHT?!

But seriously, you guys. (And not ALL geek guys, of course.) Can you please stop acting like you own the field of geekery all on your own? Aren't we past this? Seriously? Are we really still OMG STUNNED when a woman enjoys nerdy pursuits? I don't do these things because my boyfriend reads comics and I want him to like me.

For example, I listen to The Nerdist podcast every week. Twice a week if it's on twice. I love it. It's awesome. It's my favorite podcast. I love Chris Hardwick. He's hilarious. But Chris. Dude. I AM NOT THE ONLY WOMAN WHO LISTENS TO YOUR SHOW. THERE ARE FEMALE GEEKS. IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, YOU'RE DATING ONE. So why do you keep making comments about how no women listen to your show or how your nerdiness is losing you female viewers. Um. We do and it's not. KNOCK IT OFF. My ovaries do not "dry up" when James Gunn and Jonah Ray get into a nerd fight over whether or not 28 Days Later qualifies as a zombie film. That was AWESOME. (My opinion: it does count as a zombie movie.)

I was listening today to a review of the Game of Thrones miniseries. (3 days, you guys!!!!) And the reviewer made a comment about it possibly being a turn-off for women because it's all male-dominated, bloody and full of ultra-violence. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Because Dany and Arya and Catelyn and Sansa are just standing around, looking pretty. (Well, ok, Sansa is.) Because women can't stand watching male characters. (If we felt that way, we wouldn't watch anything, ever.) Because women don't like to watch dudes with swords fuck shit up. Especially because women don't enjoy a complex, well-told story. Mmm-hmmm.

Oh for Christ's sake, Terrance Zdunich: YES. GIRLS DO READ COMIC BOOKS. I even bought your creepy comic book about cockroaches.

I guess I'm mostly just tired of being told I don't exist.

ETA: This. Thanks, Sorsha. WHATEVER.

YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

So, I'm sitting at my desk this morning, sipping my coffee, listening to NPR, and organizing the day's events and I get a text from my most amiable geeky companion Sorsha: "JULY 12TH RELEASE FOR A DANCE WITH DRAGONS!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And then there were more texts and later, when I got home, tweets from Dan Mac and others and the entire internet was like, wall-to-wall GEORGE R. R. MARTIN. It was AWESOME.

I'm so excited! I did this and then this and then this is what my office looked like all day today. (Instead of Doctor Who geeks, picture me doing a happy dance and a lot of confused social service workers. Good times.) And I know, I don't deserve to be excited. I only just read A Game of Thrones and am only halfway through A Clash of Kings. I haven't SUFFERED like the rest of you. I am aware of my privilege, ok? But my wait for the last two books will be just as long as yours now. WE WILL PINE TOGETHER.

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. I just went looking for the new trailer for the miniseries that went live during the Academy Awards and found a NEW NEW TRAILER! Holy shit, you guys! It's like today is GEEK CHRISTMAS. The Wall! A glimpse of the Others! MORE JAIME. Um. Soooo...Robb? Kind of hot, yeah?

I can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!!!

Rants of Ice and Fire: Oh, HELL No

Hey Sorsha, remember when I recommended that podcast to you, Podcast of Ice and Fire? Yeah, well, I'm rescinding my recommendation. I enjoyed the first episode and part of the second one I listened to (I texted you a quote) but immediately after that, one of the women on the 'cast treated the listeners to a lecture about Catelyn Stark and how she's not a strong character because she's a wife and mother.

...No, really. That was it. I'm on record as not being a huge Catelyn fan. Mostly because I find her boring and think she was a bitch to Jon Snow, whom I adore. (Though I can sort of understand her reasoning. Well. As much as I can understand why anyone would be mean to a little kid, even if he IS your husband's illegitimate kid of TOP SECRET maternity.) But I certainly don't think she's weak. And I think she left "traditional" femininity behind when she hopped on her horse to go rally the Tullys and gather evidence against the Lannisters for booting her son out the window. And then arresting Tyrion. And the way she handled the arrest was pretty fucking masterful. And she seems extra tough when you compare her to her miserable sister. Ugh.

Yeah, she raised five kids. Hell, six, if you count Jon Snow. (Are we to think she completely ignored him? I'm unclear on this. I guess it doesn't matter much.) She was a dutiful and loving wife to Ned and mistress of Winterfell. None of these things make her weak. Motherhood's a fucking tough job, I'm pretty sure. Especially when you don't have things like, you know, epidurals, antibiotics, diapers, pacifiers and soap. And unlike that gorgon Cersei (To whom she was being compared unfavorably), she doesn't: 1. Fuck her brother 2. Murder her husband 3. Have any Damien-Omen kids.

I'm mostly just really offended by the notion that if you don't try to act like a man, you're weak. Like I said in my ridiculously impassioned defense of Sansa: not everyone can be Arya or Dany. If you put a sword in my hand, I'd probably be all, "Um. This is heavy. I'm just gonna put this down over here before I drop it on my foot" and then I'd go read a book. Or knit something. Or bake something. In fact, I'm looking up brownie recipes as we speak. ...Type. And I'd (GASP!) like to get married and have babies someday. !!!!!!!!! Whatever. I GUESS I'M JUST TOO WEAK/BORING/USELESS TO LIVE.

So, back to the podcast...I'll be unsubscribing. Which sucks because I loved being able to listen to something Westeros-related at work. It's the NEXT BEST THING to reading the novels. But I don't need that kind of misogynistic bullshit.

AND NO BROWNIES FOR YOU, PODCAST OF ICE AND FIRE.

ETA: Oh, there was other stuff, too. This was just the bit I was ranty about.

Well, There Goes the Rest of My Spare Time For the Forseeable Future...

I visited my local used book store yesterday to see if they had book two of A Song of Ice and Fire in stock and guess what?! They had all three! The bookseller was quite delighted with my purchases; he seemed to be a big fan of the series. He warned me ominously that it's been years since the last book came out and that No One Knows when book five will be out. I assured him that I was aware of the risk and was willing to fling myself headlong into book-related heartbreak.* The best part is that they only cost me $10! YAAAY! (All three at Amazon was going to set me back $30, which had me squawking in indignation, but I was still totally going to pay it.)

Also, Sorcha and I may need to have a mild throwdown over Sansa Stark. Only mild because I can see her point of view, but I have all this empathy for Sansa.

*Hey, it was, like, twelve years between the releases of the fourth and fifth Earth's Children novels. Wait. Bad example. Book Five of that series, Shelters of Stone, suuuuuucked. Like, a lot.

Mini Review of Book-In-Progress: "A Game of Thrones"

Sorsha has been after me for months in her gentle way (No, really. She doesn't pressure. She knows better. Almost no one manipulates me better than her) to start reading the first book in A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Game of Thrones.

I've had the damn book for over a year. I bought it at a used book store when she first started talking about it and I'd heard about the series from my fellow geeks online. Mostly, they were bitching about the next book not being out. And then Neil Gaiman told them to shut up about it and that was fun. So, I picked up the book, took one look at all the characters with the crazy names and put it back down. I'd look at it longingly on occasion, but went on to other things. But I really wanted to get it read before the HBO miniseries with the AWESOME cast came on. In April. I think I've got time. But you know. Time gets away from you. And then there was this preview.

Yeah. I need to get on that.

So, I started it this week. DETERMINED.

After numerous texts to Sorsha (And pouncing on her at work), visits to the IMDB page (Sometimes it helps if I can get mental pictures of the characters in my mind) and the Wikipedia page (Careful there if you're spoiler-averse) and I've mostly got my brain wrapped around the thirty or so primary and secondary characters and the "rules" of the world they live in.

And it's so fucking awesome. It's like a really mean, dirty (Both in sexual terms and like, grime) Middle Earth. Everyone is complex and layered and morally ambiguous. My favorite character is still Daenerys, nicknamed Dany, a thirteen-year-old deposed princess married off by her asshole brother to a warlord so he (The asshole brother) can build his army and get his throne back. She's terrified (And who wouldn't be?) but eventually comes to like her scary husband (Jason Momoa is playing him in the mini, if that tells you anything) and, more importantly, realizes that she needs to toughen the fuck up if she's going to survive. And she DOES and it's AWESOME. Also, that picture of her from IMDB immediately made me think of the Jungle Queen from The Maxx. 90s nostalgia!

So, reading continues and I need to order the next three books off of Amazon. WOOOO!!!

P.S. Three guesses as to why I used the Flowers in the Attic tag. Hee.