An Open Letter To Certain Male Geeks

Greetings, geeks! My name is Bea. I'm (as of last week-ish) 32 years old. I'm a college graduate. I work in social services. I bake. I knit. I read (a lot). I vote Democrat. I occasionally sparkle. I enjoy the works of Jane Austen, thunderstorms, the Oxford comma, and the laughter of children.

Oh, I'm also a geek. I've been a geek since I was a tiny little girl and I had a Dune coloring book. This Dune coloring book, actually. I also had a glow-in-the-dark He-Man sword when I was itty-bitty that I had to take in the bathroom to watch glow because I was never awake when it was dark outside. Because I was four. Later, I was a huge She-Ra fan and literally subscribed to her newsletter. I loved Star Wars, Blade Runner, The Terminator, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk, The V miniseries (both of them!), Legend, The Dark Crystal, The NeverEnding Story, Dune (the Lynch version, NEVER the Sci-Fi version, though that was much later), Labyrinth, and Conan the Barbarian. The 80s were fun, weren't they?

I was a gamer girl in the late 80s and early 90s. Look. You think it's tough being a gamer girl now? (It is, I'm sure.) Try it then. I was LITERALLY the only girl I knew who played video games. Ever. I don't play anymore but I can still fuck you up at Super Mario Bros. 1-3. My parents took me and my brother to a Nintendo Convention in Valley Forge, PA as a birthday gift. I'm guessing it was 1990 or 1991. Whatever year Super Mario Bros. 3 came out. I remember because I smoked some dude at a demo of the game. He clearly wasn't expecting that from a little girl. It was AWESOME.

I've watched The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, Space: Above and Beyond, VR-5, Harsh Realm, Dead at 21, Love and Curses, Forever Knight, Beauty and the Beast, Dark Shadows (the old 60s soap AND the early 90s remake), Mystery Science Theater 3000, Twin Peaks, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Farscape, The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Heroes, Roar, Dark Angel, Supernatural, Fringe, Roswell, Alias, Earth 2, Dark Skies, Millennium, Kindred: The Embraced, and SeaQuest DSV.

I've read Heinlein and Herbert. I've read all the Lord of the Rings books. I own the extended editions of all the movies AND the Trivial Pursuit game.

Sorsha and I have a zombie apocalypse plan and seriously. It's awesome. It's getting better by the day.

I read comic books. I go to cons. Got my picture taken with Michael Berryman. I saw The Dark Knight in the theater four times. I have the Iron Man Mr. Potato Head, Tony Starch sitting on top of my television. I have a Matchbox-sized replica of the Metallicar on my desk. My mousepad features a kingly Aragorn. I'm currently knitting a Gryffindor scarf.

As you can see from the above exhaustive list, I will watch/read/consume ANYTHING sci-fi/horror/fantasy-related. Regardless of quality as you can also see from the above list. Heh. I can authoritatively nerd out on a variety of subjects. And I do. Often. And I do all of these things despite the INCREDIBLE HANDICAP OF A PAIR OF BREASTS. SHOCKING, RIGHT?!

But seriously, you guys. (And not ALL geek guys, of course.) Can you please stop acting like you own the field of geekery all on your own? Aren't we past this? Seriously? Are we really still OMG STUNNED when a woman enjoys nerdy pursuits? I don't do these things because my boyfriend reads comics and I want him to like me.

For example, I listen to The Nerdist podcast every week. Twice a week if it's on twice. I love it. It's awesome. It's my favorite podcast. I love Chris Hardwick. He's hilarious. But Chris. Dude. I AM NOT THE ONLY WOMAN WHO LISTENS TO YOUR SHOW. THERE ARE FEMALE GEEKS. IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, YOU'RE DATING ONE. So why do you keep making comments about how no women listen to your show or how your nerdiness is losing you female viewers. Um. We do and it's not. KNOCK IT OFF. My ovaries do not "dry up" when James Gunn and Jonah Ray get into a nerd fight over whether or not 28 Days Later qualifies as a zombie film. That was AWESOME. (My opinion: it does count as a zombie movie.)

I was listening today to a review of the Game of Thrones miniseries. (3 days, you guys!!!!) And the reviewer made a comment about it possibly being a turn-off for women because it's all male-dominated, bloody and full of ultra-violence. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Because Dany and Arya and Catelyn and Sansa are just standing around, looking pretty. (Well, ok, Sansa is.) Because women can't stand watching male characters. (If we felt that way, we wouldn't watch anything, ever.) Because women don't like to watch dudes with swords fuck shit up. Especially because women don't enjoy a complex, well-told story. Mmm-hmmm.

Oh for Christ's sake, Terrance Zdunich: YES. GIRLS DO READ COMIC BOOKS. I even bought your creepy comic book about cockroaches.

I guess I'm mostly just tired of being told I don't exist.

ETA: This. Thanks, Sorsha. WHATEVER.

So..."Battlestar Galactica" finale...

How 'bout that? It was a bit puzzling? I mean, I can't say I'm disappointed because I didn't really expect it to be a straightforward, piece-by-piece explanation. But...huh.

And that's pretty much all Andie, Sid and I had to say to each other immediately following. So, yeah. What did YOU think? I think I need to watch it again. Frankly, I think I need to watch the entire series again. Some of the folks I go to Meeting with have been tossing the idea around of a bunch of us getting together and doing The Great BSG Rewatch, which would rock. (Yes, Quakers and Battlestar Galactica. I know, right?)

But no matter my confusion, I am very sad to miss one of the best, most challenging and intelligent shows on television. One that truly transcended the genre. Also, no bets on the likelihood of me downloading "All Along The Watchtower" before the day is through.*

Again, your thoughts? I may have more after I rewatch the finale.

*Done and done!

Friday Night TV for Geeks

Dollhouse was ok. It has potential. I don't have much else to say about it other than I'll watch next week. It's no Fringe, I didn't loathe it almost instantly. Eliza Dushku has TONS of good will from me just going off of Buffy and Bring It On. ("We might have to have a RUMBLE" is one of my favorite movie lines and I regret that I can't work it into more everyday conversation. Though I give it my best shot.) And oh, Joss Whedon. Maybe this will be the one! With the high ratings and the you-not-getting-screwed-over! You deserve it, really. But I'm not getting that vibe. We shall see though! We live in hope!

Battlestar Galactica continues to be awesomer than anything else. (JOHN HODGEMAN!!!! WTF?!?!?) I love it so much and I don't ever want it to end. These little glimpses into Cylon mythology and history are endlessly fascinating.

So, in other news, I'm a total geek. Sorry 'bout that.

Three Television (Sort Of) Reviews -- Two Short, One Long (ish)

**Oh, mild spoilers for True Blood and spoilers for season one of Mad Men. Don't say I never warned you. **

I really love True Blood. Like. It's currently my favorite show. Ok, I don't love it more than Supernatural. It's one of those shows that's awesome but when you try to describe it to people, you sound like a moron. Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Battlestar Galactica. Or The West Wing. You know? "So yeah, True Blood is about the Louisiana waitress named Sookie -- yes, that's her name -- who can hear people's thoughts. And vampires are real and live amongst humans. But Sookie, she can't hear VAMPIRES' thoughts so she falls in love with this vampire named Bill. And she's a virgin, but they have sex and he totally bites her too. And also, there's a serial killer and shape shifters and werewolves and the Japanese invented a drink called 'True Blood' so vampires don't have to kill people and -- WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" But seriously, it's so great. Funny and dramatic and well-acted. All the secondary characters are fascinating. I don't want it to end!

I don't care how many teenage girls it spontaneously knocks up, I love Gossip Girl. I am completely unrepentant about this. I love Chuck Bass. I want him to have his own show. I don't care that it's trashy and shallow and it's probably rotting my brain. IT'S FUN.

Ok, so, Mad Men. The show is so good, so well-made, so attentive to detail, magnificently acted, but it makes me feel so BAD. I'm watching season one from Netflix and there's seriously a two-episode limit before I want to kill myself. I just watched "5G," the episode where Don Draper's long-lost baby brother finds him and the poor kid just wants a connection with him and Don basically tells him to fuck off. I wept, ok? I WEPT.

Everyone on the show is SO miserable and trying to force themselves into roles that they don't fit. Except Joan. Joan is not miserable. She is awesome. I adore her interactions with Peggy, who is perhaps the only truly decent character on the show. It's so difficult to like these characters because every one of them has pretty much all the characteristics that would make someone a giant asshole today -- racist, sexist, classist, hypocritical.

I do giggle every time I see that pregnant character smoking and drinking a martini, which would be every time she's onscreen. And I loved when when Betty Draper was driving around with her two small children rolling around the car and climbing over seats. HA! Also, when she visits her shrink, she actually lies on a couch.

And Don Draper. What is his DEAL? Why is he so...so...LIKE THAT? Jon Hamm is great in the role. And handsome. Also great and handsome? John Slattery as Roger. He's such a smartass. I also have affection for him because I saw him be awesome in the play Rabbit Hole a few years ago and he was brilliant and cute. Even from the back row.

So, I like Mad Men a lot, but it makes me very sad. But when that happens, I can just watch clips from when Jon Hamm BRILLIANTLY and HILARIOUSLY hosted Saturday Night Live:

• Vincent Price's Halloween Special*
• Don Draper's Guide To Picking Up Women**
• Jon Hamm's John Ham***

Any thoughts on my favorite shows? Be warned, if you are going to tell me to elevate my sights and stop watching shows about vampires and werewolves and zombies, oh my! I will ignore you. Fair warning.

*"Where are the whores?"
**"Drink and some constantly."
***"Feel like a dummy yet?"

The 2008 Fall Television Season

Huh, there's really not anything new and exciting on television this year, is there? I know, blah, blah the Writer's Strike. I'm only watching one new show and that's True Blood on HBO. Oh MY GOD, I love this trashy, gothic, weird little vampire romance. It's really got everything I like in a show: DRAMA, a hilarious heroine, a gentlemanly, but possibly EVIL love interest, amusing opening credits and funny dialogue. And there's vampires with really stupid-looking fangs.

Here's what I'm watching or planning to watch:

• Dexter - This is such a great show. I love everyone on it and everything about it.
  
• Gossip Girl and Heroes - this is my Monday night lineup and I usually watch both of these shows over IM with EGT and we mock and squeal about what bitchy thing Blair did this week and how stupid yet hot Mohinder is and how inappropriate the Petrelli brothers are. It's good times.
  
• Pushing Daisies - I like this show a lot. The cast is fun and the narration always makes me giggle. I'm not deeply passionate about it but I enjoyed the first season and will give the second a go. Also, it makes me crave pie.
• Supernatural - This is, sadly, my favorite show right now. The first two episodes of this season have been pretty great. I didn't love last season, it was a bit stilted and disjointed and also, wildly misogynistic. (Stop having Dean call women "sluts" and "bitches"! He never did that before and I don't care if they're demons. Doesn't make it ok.)
  
• The Office and 30 Rock - Mame, I have to DVR them and watch them later. You will just have to deal with that. And I did watch The Office premiere last night! It was great. ("Happy birthday, Stanley!" You were right. I cracked up.)
• Battlestar Galactica - IF IT EVER COMES BACK. I swear, the folks at the Sci Fi channel are SUCH dicks. After BSG and Doctor Who end their runs, I won't be watching anything on that channel again. I'm sure I would like Eureka, but I'm not putting up with this bullshit again. Anyway, BSG is the best show on television right now and I can't wait for it to come back.
  
• Friday Night Lights - Enjoy it while you can, kids. It's probably getting cancelled after this season. That will be sad.

Television shows I'm watching on DVD:

• The Wire - BW and I are a little more than halfway through the third season. It's such an amazing show. The writing, the acting, the plotting, it all knocks me out. It's not exactly Feel Good Television, some episodes make me feel like I've been kicked in the gut. Now I'm making BW watch episodes of The West Wing in exchange. The only Aaron Sorkin show he'd ever seen was Studio 60 or as we used to call it, The Longest Hour on Television. Clearly, I couldn't let that stand.
  
• I have disc one of The Sarah Connor Chronicles home from Netflix right now. I watched part of the pilot when it aired originally but was put off by the portrayal of John Connor. Excuse me, John Connor is the leader of the Robot Resistance. He is NOT a whiny little bitch. But everyone keeps going on about how great it is, so I'll give it a try. Also, I love Summer Glau. So, we'll see. The Terminator is one of my very favorite movies and I'm VERY protective of that fictional universe. I'll be extremely put off if it sucks.
  
• I just put Mad Men on my queue. I should be getting that next. I listened to a really interesting NPR podcast featuring the creator and two of the actors. It was fascinating, so now I'm really curious.
  

Shows I'm giving up:

• Fringe - Ugh. I watched this one because everyone in my office was totally excited about it. I hated it. The second episode actually made me angry. It's totally unoriginal, kind of boring and features the kind of icky violence that makes me want to change the channel. (We've got a woman strapped to a dentist's chair being drugged and tortured by a psychotic scientist? We've got pregnant women screaming and giving birth to mutant babies then dying? Lovely.) So I did. FOREVER.
  
• Numbers - Eh, I'm getting bored with this one. Everyone's still cute and I like the little bits of math and physics they throw at me, but it's so formulaic. I might finish the second season from Netflix, but then I think I'm done.
  

What are you guys watching? Or not watching?

Kick-Ass Women In Fiction For $200, Alex!

Ok, so, there's a thing going on today about posting about your favorite female fictional character. Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! I wanna play! So, here is a list, in no particular order, of some of my favorites and why they are so awesome.

1. President Laura Roslin from Battlestar Galactica. I love her so much. She went from being the Secretary of Education to being PRESIDENT OF EVERYTHING. (Because everyone else in the succession was um, dead.) Also, she has cancer. But she's so smart and generous and makes the hard decisions without being a giant freak about it. She takes everything to heart but doesn't wallow in self-pity. And she is a HARD ASS when she needs to be. I love her kind of a lot.

1. C.J. Cregg from The West Wing. I really only like the first two seasons, so I can only speak about them. But she's so great; intelligent and kind and funny and competent. One of my favorite lines of hers, which I say in my head to people nearly EVERY day, "WOW, are YOU stupid!"
   

1. Brenda Chenowith from Six Feet Under. Oh my GOD, is Brenda not perfect. Or even an admirable person a lot of the time. She's a sex addict, wildly selfish and self-absorbed, unforgiving and kind of mean. Why do I love her? She's so fully realized and whole. She could be very understanding of other people's weaknesses and DAMN, could she bite off a nasty retort. "What is this? Some kind of Quaker thing? You fuck someone's husband to death and then bring her a quiche?" HA.

1. Sarah Connor from the Terminators 1 & 2. She started out as a regular girl, with a crappy job and a roommate. I think she's supposed to be 19 years old in the first movie? And then her life just GOES NUTS. And she's thrust into this crazy situation with KILLER ROBOTS and TIME TRAVEL and NUCLEAR WAR and sure, she freaks out at first. But then she steps up and KICKS ASS. She's so strong and determined and the look on her face when she figures out, "Um, ooook, we're making explosives!" is hilarious. And then she blows shit up. Gotta love that.

1. Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. Part of where I got my blog name! I just adore her. I think Much Ado is Shakespeare's funniest play. She is, of course, smart and witty, but she's also tough and loyal. Check out her passionate defense of her maligned cousin. She doesn't sit around and wait for one of the boys to fix the situation, she tries to fix it herself. Ok, she tries to get her boyfriend to kill the offending party, but hey. It's the thought that counts. Also? HILARIOUS.
   

1. Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series. Smarter than the boys, has more common sense than the boys and grows up to be a woman of heart and courage. A great character for little girls to grow up with and a great character for me.
   

1. Chani from the Dune series. (Oh my GOD, could I be a bigger geek? SORRY.) It would take me forever to explain the background for why Chani is so awesome and who she is. Short version: She's the main character Paul's concubine (I know, the gender/power issues there are creepy. Really.) and she's sort of...a desert warrior? Kind of? But she's tiny and fierce and Paul walks into his throne room one day to find a dead guy on the floor. Chani is just kind of nonchalantly sheathing her knife because she killed him for challenging her boyfriend and not being worthy. Paul is rather alarmed. It's pretty fun.

1. Shade Evans from Gas, Food, Lodging. This was Mame's and my favorite movie for years. (If you haven't seen it and like low-key, sweet character studies, you should check it out.) Shade is a teenage girl trying to find her identity, as one does at that age. She's kind of ridiculous, but she has a good heart. I love the little tantrums she throws, especially the one at the boy at the movie theater. She's a sweet, bright girl who begins to find wisdom by the end of the movie.
   

Man, you guys. I'm leaving out SO many others: Veronica Mars, Nancy McNally from TWW, Buffy Summers, Zoey and Kaylee from Firefly, Eowyn from The Lord of the Rings, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, Rose Tyler and Donna Noble from Doctor Who, Harper Pitt from Angels in America, Kima Greggs from The Wire and just to piss off EGT, Jane Eyre.

Ok, I'm stopping now.

Tell us about your favorite female characters! Mame, wanna play?

*I fully blame my current state of feminism on my mother and the fact that my childhood movies tended toward things like The Legend of Billie Jean, Mary Poppins, The Journe of Natty Gann and The Terminator. So, thanks for that!

New "Battlestar Galactica" and A Trip For Some Culture NOT Found In Yogurt

Ok, so, the fourth season of Battlestar Galactica has started! Yay! FINALLY. It's been almost a YEAR people, not counting the Razor tv movie, which I don't because it doesn't suit my complaining purposes. So there. OMG, IT WAS REALLY GOOD. It ended like most BSG episodes end, on a big cliffhanger with me yelling, "Oh, FUCK YOU!" at the screen. That's how you know it was good.

Today, my mom and I headed to the art museum to check out the Frida Kahlo exhibit. I adore Frida. I really don't know that much about art, but I love her stuff. So, I was pretty excited. It was an AMAZING exhibit. They had all these photographs from her personal collection and you get the nifty little headphones so you can hear these mini art lectures about particularly significant paintings. (My only quibble was that I would have preferred the photographs AFTER the art. I can see why they placed the photos first, but I still think it would have been more coherent to see them after seeing her paintings.) It was crowded as all hell, but people were actually well-behaved! No one was a huge art hog. By "art hog," I mean, a giant asshole who plants his or herself RIGHT IN FRONT OF A PAINTING, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE, so no one else can fucking see it. This is particularly epidemic in front of works that are discussed in the recordings. It makes me want to punch people in the back of the head. PEOPLE! Stand off to the side! Turn your body a little sideways so you take up less space! Everyone else wants to see too! It's why we're here! We went to see the Salvatore Dali exhibit a few years ago and SO MANY people were total dicks, being art hogs and loud. This time, not so much. Perhaps Frida Kahlo fans are more reasonable. Although, I did spend a considerable amount of time in front of this painting: "Moses." But come on, wouldn't you? But I did find this out later, as mom and I were talking about the exhibit:

Me: People were pretty well-behaved this time, weren't they?
Mom: Yeah, except for that one girl. She was TOTALLY up your ass while you were looking at one of the paintings.
Me: Really? I didn't notice!
Mom: I thought she was going to shiv you!

Then we went to Borders, where I bought the latest issue of Supernatural magazine (Oh whatever, don't judge me.) and copies of The Secret Garden and Alice in Wonderland. I've never read Alice and have been wanting to reread Garden. So, yay! I had to pick through to find just the right covers. I would have really preferred to get them used, because then maybe I could've had a cover from the 60s or something, but I don't have a good used book store near me, more's the pity. I definitely judge a book by it's cover. (See also: Andrews, V.C., Original Covers of.) When dealing with classic novels, I prefer old covers. If that can't be achieved, I prefer the cheapest possible edition of the book. Not because I actually AM cheap, (though, kind of.) but because classic literature should totally be available cheaply. I LOVE the series that Barnes and Noble has of classic novels for like $5-or-less a pop. And they are ALWAYS having buy-two-get-one sales. And if possible, I ALWAYS want the Penguin editions, which is a publishing company specifically for making literature available at affordable prices. And they always print lesser-known, weird authors, which is fun. So, I ended up with the Signet edition of Alice, for $3.95 and the Puffin edition of Garden, which cost $6, but had a good cover. (Puffin is the kid's branch of Penguin.) Lovely! I DESPISE when covers of classic novels are "updated" with a modern photograph. UGH. As much as I loved the Keira Knightley film version of Pride and Prejudice, I would eat glass before I would purchase a copy of the book with a cover from the film. *gag* I think I bought my copy of P&P for like, a dollar at the used book store where I went to college. BOOK COVERS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS, OK?

And if anyone is still reading after THAT boring diatribe, we then went to LUSH, which is probably my favorite store in the world. I am trying to cut down on the amount of weird chemicals that go in and around my body and LUSH is awesome for that. (I can cut down on the amount of chemicals in my toiletries so I can still eat at Taco Bell. God only knows what's in that food but mmmmm...)

Finally, we went for tea! We had the Royal Tea, which was scones and shortbread with cream and lemon curd, tea sandwiches: chicken salad, egg salad, seafood salad, cucumber and salmon and various cookies and pastries. AWESOME! Also, there was champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. I don't drink champagne, so I took a sip, made a face and gave it to my mom, who was only TOO HAPPY to take it. Heh. I drank four cups of tea, so I was a bit wired and prone to peeing for the rest of the afternoon. Will SOMEONE please invent a kind of tea that isn't a total diuretic? SERIOUSLY.

It was a great day.

And, if anyone can recommend a good biography of Frida Kahlo, that would be great. I've seen the movie and liked it. Mame? You know one? What with your obsession with celebrity bios? I mean, I'm sure it would be no Marlon Brando's Songs My Mother Taught Me, but really, what IS?