SUDDENLY...A HAND COMES OUT OF THE GRAVE OF YOUR DEAD AND DEFILED FAKE SISTER.

Ha ha ha, so, um, HI. We haven't blogged in AWHILE. We've been, um, busy. I got married and then got pregnant and then had a miscarriage. Mame got divorced and has a new beau. But we're fine! We just started doing other things and let our blog sadly fade.

BUT THEN, THEY STARTED MAKING A BUNCH OF V.C. ANDREWS MOVIES. FUCK YEAH CAPSLOCK!!!

Texts between Mame and myself today:

Me: THEY'RE MAKING A MY SWEET AUDRINA MOVIE!!!

Mame: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! BECAUSE IF YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME, IT'S NOT FUNNY.

Me: No. Totally serious. And If There Be Thorns and Seeds of Yesterday.

Me: I...think we need to revive the blog.

Mame: I think you're damn right.

Me: This is one of the best days of my life.

Mame:  Life is good, old friend. Damn good.

Me: We live in exciting times.

Sooo...we're going to try to be back! Honestly, a lot of my blogging energy goes into other forms of social media like Tumblr and Twitter, but I do miss this blog. And it's like the universe is BEGGING us to start writing about incest and ballet and revenge again! See you soon, maybe?

Prepping For The Oscars!

My mom, brother and I have been trying to watch as many Oscar-nominated movies as possible before the ceremony. I think I've mentioned before in this space that I LOVE the Academy Awards. Yes, they're stupid and lame and the right people never win. (I'm still lookin' at YOU, Julia Roberts.) But still. We have a party every year with snacks and voting and we start with bitchy, red carpet dress mocking. I have SUCH high hopes for Helena Bonham Carter's dress. Maybe it will rival Bjork's crazy swan thing! ::fingers crossed::

Here's the scorecard so far (List stolen from Sars at Tomato Nation):

• 127 Hours (There's no fucking way I'm going to see this movie.)
• Alice in Wonderland (It was fine. I mostly went for the Michael Sheen.)
• Animal Kingdom (I would LOVE to see this. I'll probably try to grab it from the Redbox this weekend.)
• Another Year
• Barney's Version
• Biutiful
  
• Black Swan (I really loved this movie until the last 20 minutes where I feel like it went off the rails a bit. Well. A lot. Natalie Portman was really great. The scene where she calls her mother from the bathroom stall brought tears to my eyes AND a chill up my spine.)
• Blue Valentine (Haven't gotten around to this one yet. I'm not sure I'll be able to before the ceremony. It's...probably not a date movie, right?)
  
• The Confession
• Country Strong (Yeah, no.)
  
• The Crush
• Day & Night
• Dogtooth (I'm really morbidly curious about this one.)
• Exit Through the Gift Shop
• The Fighter (Meh. I hate boxing.)
  
• Gasland
• God of Love
• The Gruffalo
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, pt. 1 (Of course I saw this one. Loved it. I'm sure it won't win anything. Heh.)
• Hereafter (I'm curious about this movie. I like things to with with the afterlife, etc. but it's hard to do well.)
  
• How to Train Your Dragon (I think the next time we keep my nephew overnight, we'll rent this.)
  
• I Am Love
• The Illusionist
• In A Better World
• Incendies
• Inception (LOVED this movie. My second favorite of 2010. My Gentleman Caller and I watched it with the Rifftrax commentary and it was HILARIOUS.)
• Inside Job
• Iron Man 2 (Mmm...Downey...)
  
• The Kids Are All Right (I liked this movie quite a bit. The dialogue was great; it felt very natural and more like how real people talk. They really seemed like a family.)
• Killing In The Name
• The King's Speech (LovedlovedLOVED it. Much funnier than I expected. Lovely and touching and everyone in it is great.)
  
• Let's Pollute
• The Lost Thing
• Madagascar, A Journey Diary
• Na Wewe
• Outside The Law
• Poster Girl
• Rabbit Hole (I saw the play during its original Broadway run and adored it. I'd like to see the movie. I'm not notably a Nicole Kidman fan, but she can be excellent when she puts her mind to it. And when her forehead moves.)
  
• Restrepo (Documentaries aren't usually my thing, but I'd like to see this.)
  
• Salt (...No.)
  
• The Social Network (I liked this fine, but wasn't as impressed with it as many seemed to be. Andrew Garfield is ADORABLE. I disagreed with the last line. Mark Zuckerberg, as portrayed in this film, is a giant asshole. Don't try to tell me differently, Rashida Jones.)
  
• Strangers No More
  
• Sun Come Up
  
• Tangled (I will SO see this. Someday.)
  
• The Tempest (Helen Mirren is hot.)
  
• The Town (It was fine. Whatever. Jeremy Renner was great. I really liked Rebecca Hall. Blake Lively was woefully miscast and WAY too young for the role. PEOPLE WHO MAKE MOVIES. STOP DOING THAT. Don't try to tell me that Blake Lively and Ben Affleck could have had a years-long relationship in any way other than statutory rape. Ugh.)
  
• Toy Story 3 (Sobbed off and on for the whole movie. It's wonderful.)
  
• Tron: Legacy (My Gentleman Caller dragged me to this one. Well. I went willingly because of Michael Sheen [Seeing a pattern here?] and the Daft Punk score. It was fine. I despised Garrett Hedlund in the main role, but Jeff Bridges and Olivia Wilde were fine. Sheen was hilarious and, I'm sure, took home massive amounts of money for his 15 minutes of screentime.)
  
• True Grit (GAH. I HAVE to see this before the Oscars!)
  
• Unstoppable (I do not have to see this one, ever.)
  
• The Warriors of Quigang
• Waste Land
• The Way Back
• Winter's Bone (I adored this film. Best movie of the year, hands down. Everyone in it is wonderful and perfect, but John Hawkes and Jennifer Lawrence are SO excellent. I can't say enough good things about this film.)
  
• Wish 143
• Wolfman (I would watch this with friends to mock it. We should get on that.)

Looks like I've got some work to do! What Oscar movies have you seen?

Bad Day Rehab: Celebrity Boyfriends

Hmmm...rough day at work today, babies. Well. Let's be honest, it's been a rough MONTH at work, babies. I try not to talk about my job on my blog because I don't want to get FIRED or otherwise compromised. But I don't think the little fact that it's been a suck-ass month will be too problematical. But whatev, let's talk about something that will cheer me up: my ever-revolving parade of celebrity boyfriends. I know, Gentle Readers, that you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and gasp, "WHO IS IN BEA'S TOP 5 LIST OF CELEBRITY BOYFRIENDS THIS WEEK!?!?!?" Well, in the interests of everyone getting a proper night's rest, I'll tell you. I'm a humanitarian.

1. Robert Downey Jr. Neither I nor EGT understand Tumblr, but that site makes me laugh. A lot. Mame and I are eagerly anticipating Due Date. During my studies of Downey's career, I've found this to be a very useful resource. For each film of his they ask "Dies/Gay/Villain?" My favorite answer is for Sherlock Holmes: "No/Vaguely/No." HA!
   
2. Dr. Spencer Reid. He may be fictional, but he still the prettiest.
   
3. Benedict Cumberbatch. Yes. I still think his name sounds like a gay porn star. Or, as the Nerdist dude pointed out, like a teacher from Hogwarts. But he's super hot. And he has a damn fine coat. And a sexy voice. So...SOLD. Also, he may not be human but I'm not letting that get in my way.
   
4. Michael Sheen. He's adorable and sometimes makes good movies: The Queen, Frost/Nixon, and The Damned United. And not-so-good movies: Twilight: New Moon, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, and Tron: Legacy. (Damn you, Michael. Now I have to see that piece of shit. But the Daft Punk soundtrack does make me feel a bit better about the whole thing.) Also, why all the colons, Michael? And he surprise!presented at the Oscars, thrilling me (and EGT) beyond belief. That was a pretty bad day for me, so I choose to think it was a special gift from him. Shhhhh...don't try to reason with me. He's a really, really good actor and also does music videos. I like that in a celebrity boyfriend.
5. Terrance Zdunich. Seriously. Have you not seen Repo! The Genetic Opera yet? Get on that, will you? (If you don't like camp and gore, you'll hate it. Luckily, I love both.) This dude emailed me. Because I ordered a comic book from his website. The fit I threw could not be documented. Lucky Sorsha was there to witness it! I'm a challenging friend. (P.S. The comic was really good! I haven't gotten around to ordering the rest of the series, but I did like it. Despite the fucking cockroaches.)
   

Well. That was fun, wasn't it? Tell me about YOUR celebrity boyfriends/girlfriends! There's no shame (or dignity!) here.

"Iron Man" vs. "The Dark Knight" or Bea Is An Embarrassingly Huge Geek, Feel Free To Mock Her

I was listening to the Culturetopia podcast at work today. Culturetopia's Pop Culture Happy Hour is one of my favorites, it's kind of hysterical. Anyway. One of the...podcasters? whatever was talking about comic book movies and said that they thought that Iron Man was as good, if not better than, The Dark Knight. Of course, I squawked in indignation. But, then I thought about it.

...Huh. Is Iron Man as good a movie as The Dark Knight? And why has this geek Thunderdome question never occurred to me before? I'm frankly disappointed in myself. Whatever. So, let's lay out the facts here...First, let me say that I am not a superhero comic book geek. I'm more a graphic novel kind of girl and I don't really read superhero comics at all. Except for the odd Batman book here and there. Secondly, I have a giant crush on Robert Downey Jr. right now and that could bias my answers just a taaad.

• Best Superhero: Hmm. I like Batman better. Iron Man is fine and all but basically, he's a dude in a suit. I mean, he's smart and good with, you know, physics and stuff, but he's a spoiled playboy in a big metal suit. Batman? TRAINED BY NINJAS. You can't beat that with an M.I.T. degree. No way.
  
• Best Alter Ego: Oh my God, Tony Stark all the way. SHUT UP, BRUCE WAYNE. NO, SHUT UP SOME MORE. GO GET SOME THERAPY. Tony Stark has daddy issues, but does he whinge about them all the time and fantasize about bats? No. No, he does not. I mean, sure, he sluts it up and drinks like a fish but he doesn't WHINE. And then he gets kidnapped and tortured and he turns his PTSD into something positive! So there. Sure, Bruce Wayne fakes the whole spoiled and slutty playboy thing, but Tony? Not faking. And he's hilaarious.
  
• Best Special Lady Friend: Pepper Potts is so much awesomer than anyone but she is particularly awesomer than Rachel Dawes, who kind of sucks. There is no character in the Marvel 'verse that is more important to me than Pepper Potts. (Seriously, if she's not in the Avengers movie, I'll cut someone. Not kidding. [Kidding. I'm a Quaker. No cutting.]) Pepper is smart, ladylike, competent but doesn't take any bullshit. Particularly from Tony. She'll reach into his chest and change his glowy-heart-thing (Yes, I know what it's called) and dismiss his one night stands in the morning for him, but she is not going to let him talk dirty at her or put up with any nonsense. Can you tell that I'm a HUGE Tony/Pepper fan? Heh. Ugh, Rachel Dawes. I went on at some length in my review of The Dark Knight concerning the problems I have with Ms. Dawes. Seriously, a girl doesn't have to have superpowers or be ass kickin' or a villain or hero to be awesome. She can just be...awesome. See also: Ross, Betty or if we're talkin' books, Everdeen, Katniss.
  
• Best Villains: The Dark Knight, no question. Can you get better villains that Heath Ledger's Joker and Aaron Eckhart's Two-Face? And I think Iron Man villains tend to be kind of weak. Obadiah Stane was pretty meh. I mean, he had a good scene with Gwyneth Paltrow when she's trying to get the files off of Tony's computer and he's subtly menacing her but whatever. One scene. Heath Ledger basically OWNED The Dark Knight.
  
• Best Sidekicks/Friends: This also goes to The Dark Knight. I think Lucius, Alfred and Gordon are much more awesome than Happy and Rhodey. Though Tony Stark has some cool robots.
• Lead Actors: I really love both Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr. They're two of my favorite actors. I much prefer what Downey does with Tony Stark to what Bale does with Bruce Wayne/Batman. I find Downey more nuanced. I'm not entirely wild about Bale's gravelly Batman voice. The way Downey interacts with Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper and how he quietly plays Tony's return after his kidnapping is really excellent. I can name a dozen little things that Downey does that makes his performance as Tony memorable but I can't name a single one that Bale does besides being looming and muscley.
  
• Miscellaneous: I prefer the look of The Dark Knight and the grim, goth vibe. I really like the music in The Dark Knight. Though I know a lot of people haaaaated it, I LOVED the use of the Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" over the end credits of that movie. I laaaaughed.

Man. Even after laying it out like that, I'm still not sure! I think I enjoy Iron Man more. It's definitely more fun. When I have a bad day, I'm going to come home and watch Iron Man. But I think The Dark Knight is a better film.

Oh, It's ON...

I think Sorsha and I are going to have an epic throwdown over the superior Sherlock Holmes portrayer: Jeremy Brett or Basil Rathbone. Watch this space for VICTORIAN THUNDERDOME. (I should have Six the Laptop back from my computer-fixer-guy next week!)

Chime in, Dear Readers...who's your favorite Holmes? You know I LOVE Robert Downey Jr. but he's my #2 Holmes. BRETT ALL THE WAY. HE IS THE DEFINITIVE HOLMES.

I can't speak to the quality of the new guy in the BBC series Sherlock (Because it doesn't air in the U.S. until FREAKIN' OCTOBER), but he does have the gay porniest name in all the land: Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah.

My Recent Trip Down Robert Downey Jr. Lane

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me In Real Life or is a reader of this blog that I go through celebrity boyfriends like most people change their sheets. You know, a new one every week or so, a little longer if I get lazy. I mean, this summer alone, I've gone through like, four. Whatever, I like variety. Because what I do is, I find someone to obsess over and then I rent every one of their movies I can find and watch them all. And then when I've viewed all the media I can find concerning them, I get bored and move on. I mean, by the time I got sick of Christopher Eccleston, I'd watched his entire season of Doctor Who AND all the DVD extras and every one of his movies. Including Jude. Which made me suicidal. Goddamn, that movie is depressing.

Hey, a girl has to have a hobby, right? So, this summer the lucky new obsessee seems to be...Robert Downey Jr. I know, I know. That's almost...normal, right? He's like, traditionally handsome and an actual movie star! I know. I'm disappointed too. But whatever. At least he's got lots of movies to choose from, many of which I've already seen and liked. Here's what I've watched so far:

• Iron Man and Iron Man 2: Duh. Any self-respecting geek has already seen and loved these. They're really great adaptations and Downey is great in them. And I think I love Iron Man 2 even more because I have a SEVERE hate-on for Terrance Howard. I hated Hustle & Flow and I resent everyone who was involved with that shit-ass movie. HATE. So, the fact that he was replaced by Don Cheadle, whom I ADORE, just made it all the better. Love Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper and I LOVE Pepper and Tony. They are so cute.
• Sherlock Holmes: Saw it when it came out, of course. Loved it then. Dragged EGT to see when she came to visit. Still loved it. I just watched it recently and aside from the actual DVD refusing to play on my PS2 (Fuck you, Warner Bros copy guard), I loved it even more upon rewatching. Downey is really great as Holmes, smart and bitchy and funny. One of the best things about Downey as an actor is that he's always thinking, always doing something interesting, even when not much is going on. I LOVE the scene at the end on the scaffolding with Holmes, Irene Adler (The lovely Rachel McAdam) and the bad guy, Blackwhatever. And Blackwhatever is about to push Irene off the edge and Downey does this subtle, begging headshake and bad guy shoves her off the edge and twirls his mustache and Downey shouts a clipped, "NO!" before he can stop himself. It's SO GREAT. And I love Jude Law as Watson. I am not notably a Law fan, but boy, was he fun in this movie.
• Chaplin: Ugh, sorry guys. I thought this was really boring. I don't usually like biopics because they usually suuuuuck. Downey was good in this and so was Kevin Kline (He's ALWAYS good) but ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
• A Scanner Darkly: I have this from the library and am watching it now. Hee. This shit is crazy.
  

And the movie that prompted this post was Less Than Zero, which the lovely Sorsha loaned to me and also blogged about. She is such a shameless enabler. I didn't really like the movie. I'd heard it wasn't very good but that RDJ was fantastic in it. I mostly agree with this statement. My first problem: I don't usually like movies about drug addicts. Second problem? I don't give a shit about rich people and how miserable they all are. Seriously, go dry your tears on your money. (Class issues? Me? NO. SURELY NOT.) Third problem? I hate Andrew McCarthy. I didn't like him in Pretty in Pink. I didn't like him in Mannequin. I do not like him in a house, I do not like him with a mouse. He has a high voice. It weirds me out.

So, with all these strikes against it, I watched the damn movie. Ugh. Whatever. It was ok. I think McCarthy and Jami Gertz are both pretty bad in it. I liked Gertz fine in both Lost Boys and Solarbabies (WHAT? I LIKE THAT MOVIE. IT'S NOT A CRIME, OK?) [It sort of is] but I didn't think she was too great here. Probably they just both looked really bad next to really fabulous performances by Robert Downey Jr. and James Spader.

McCarthy plays Clay, who has just come home from college at Christmas to see his ex-girlfriend Blair (I think it's Blair. Maybe it's Blake. Whatever, I'm not looking it up, I just won't mention her name again. PROBLEM SOLVED) whom he'd dumped at Thanksgiving because he caught her and his best friend Julian boning. Whatever. I can't fault her taste. It's all very dramatic, with a bouquet of flowers being pegged at their post-coital heads. HA. Downey plays Julian, the wacky best friend who's become seriously addicted to drugs. Cocaine, I think. I don't know, something snorty. Like any addict, Julian is, by turns, charming, needy, aggressive, affectionate, nasty and desperate. Downey is really great at switching him back and forth. It's a really painful performance to watch especially when you know that later it mirrored real life. Sometimes Julian is so vulnerable you can barely stand to look at him (Something I also noticed with Downey's performance in Chaplin) and other times he's so cocky, you just want to bitch-slap him. The scene with Julian and his dad sort-of reconciling had me in tears. I texted Sorsha and she laughed at me. NICE, RIGHT?

James Spader, my favorite douchebag, plays Rip (No, I'm not kidding you with that name), the drug dealer who convinces Julian that the best way to work off his debt is as a rentboy. Spader is really nasty and sleazy and great in his manipulation of the increasingly stupid Julian. It's pretty masterful. God, I love James Spader. Heh. I'm sure the sight of Downey on his knees in a day-glo hotel room was pretty shocking for the 80s but I wasn't very impressed. And I could have done without all the puking, thanks. And memo to 80s Downey: It's called Chapstick. Get you some.

Also, Mame would like you all to know that she had a crush on Robert Downey Jr. in the late 90s when she made me watch Two Girls and a Guy. I bitched the entire time. TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE movie. But Mame was right. That guy is hot. (Um, I urge you all to head over to the IMDB entry for that movie. Look at the plot keywords. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

ETA: DUDE. I forgot Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang, basically the BEST MOVIE EVER. Ugh, I fail at my own blog. It's a great movie, Downey is great in it and so is Val Kilmer. Yes, THAT Val Kilmer. He's awesome. And it's written by Shane Black, who writes great action movies. Go rent it.

Music Review: Godspeed You! Black Emperor, "f#a# (infinity symbol)"

So. One of my favorite movies EVER is 28 Days Later. It scared the shit out of me in the theater, great storyline, great performances, Christopher Eccleston AND Cillian Murphy, an awesome heroine in Selena, post-apocalyptic zombies...I mean, really. That's like catnip for me. Anyway, for some reason, I've been really into the soundtrack lately. I own it and haven't listened to it in years, but dug it out the other day. But then I remembered that my favorite musical interlude from the film isn't on the official soundtrack and I didn't know why. And if there's thing I love to do, it's unraveling bullshit trivia like that.

My favorite bit is the music that plays over the scene where Jim is wandering around the deserted city. It's from the Canadian band Godspeed You! Black Emperor's album "f#a# (infinity symbol)" [Ed. Actual infinity symbol. I just don't know how to do that. And don't care that much.] from the second...movement, I guess you'd call it, "East Hastings." Huh. I had never, ever heard of that band. And of course, when I check on the dark mother iTunes, each track is "album only." Same situation on Amazon. Grrrr. I posted about it on Facebook all, "Uh, anyone every heard of this band? Do the suck? WTF?" and as I was hoping, one of my much-hipper-than-me, musically inclined friends answered and made some suggestions.

So, I headed to Youtube where I listened to the entire album.

...Whoa. The album consists of three long, instrumental sections: "The Dead Flag Blues," "East Hastings" and "Providence." The first track opens with a long, ominous tone and a spoken word monologue about...I don't know. The end of the world or something. IT'S REALLY FUCKING CREEPY. But also incredibly compelling. Each section sort of builds on itself. I could hear echoes of the section I liked so much from "East Hastings" in the earlier track. Throughout the album is the use of ambient noises and spoken word and many different musical influences from a country/bluegrass twang to straight up rock and a smoother, more classical sound.

It was, oddly, a really emotionally visceral experience. I was creeped out and sort of felt like I was going to cry at several points. Not because the music was sad. I guess because it was so complex and evoked so many contradictory emotions. I don't know, I think I'm sounding really pretentious here and not meaning to. Heh.

When I got to "East Hastings," I was all psyched because I'd found the first section so interesting. It was aaaaawesome. (Except for the end. I hated that part, but more on that later.) That rock bit is just so slammin' it's like I can't hold my body still when I hear it. I have to MOVE. Though the section ended with a long section of static. I hate that. The sound of static just really, really wigs me out. I think I blame The Ring, but whatever.

I know nothing about the culture surrounding this band, I don't know if they're like, a pretentious hipster band or whatever. But I really liked this album. Yaaaaay!

Movie Review: "Repo! The Genetic Opera"

So. It's probably well-known 'round these parts that I develop these single-minded obsessions about movies, books, tv shows, bands and then devour them and drive everyone around me crazy nattering on and on about them.

Yeah. Sorry about that. Whatever. Look, I'm annoying, but I'm self-aware. At least I don't do drugs, right? RIGHT?!

Anyway, Pong has been spamming me for weeks with clips from some movie he wants me to watch. And I've been sort of ignoring him because I'm a bitch, whatever. But he IMs me a clip one night and says, "Look! It's Giles from Buffy singing!" and I'm like, "*sigh* Fiiiiiiiiiine. I'll watch it" and it was the song "Night Surgeon" from the movie Repo! The Genetic Opera.

WHERE HAS THIS MOVIE BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

Honestly, I can't figure out why I hadn't heard of it until now! It's a HORROR MOVIE MUSICAL starring Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, only my favorite show EVER. Let me say that again: A HORROR MOVIE MUSICAL. I love horror movies! I love musicals! I turned Sorcha on to it because I knew it was her kind of thing. Actually, I watched the movie when I was home sick with a really bad cold. I lost my voice and this didn't stop me. I stalked Sorcha at work (we work together) and handed her a note that said, "Repo! The Genetic Opera. Seen it?" and that was all it took!

So, Repo! is a total cult film sent in a Blade Runner-esque future where massive organ failures have decimated the human race. A company, GeneCo, offers organ transplants but if you miss too many payment, they send a Repo Man to take back their property. Probably killing you dead. One of our main characters is a young girl named Shilo (Yes, that is the little girl from Spy Kids). Her father, played by Giles, is the aforementioned Repo Man, but she doesn't know this, of course. Shilo is sheltered due to a vague but apparently life-threatening illness but yearns to escape. There's an awesome drug dealer, GraveRobber, who is my new movie boyfriend, I don't care HOW grody he might be. Paris Hilton plays a spoiled, plastic-surgery addicted tramp. And she's really good in the role, make of that what you will... Sarah Brightman of Phantom of the Opera fame plays a blind opera singer. And it all comes to a wonderfully bloody conclusion!

So, yeah, eclectic cast. And it's GORY. DELIGHTFULLY GORY. I LOVE IT SO. And funny! And LUDICROUS. And hilariously goth and aware of its own ridiculousness but fully embracing it. The music is rockin', I downloaded the soundtrack and listen to it constantly. Heh. So, I appreciate it on a camp level but I also love it unironically. I enjoy what I see as the film's criticism of large corporations and the need for healthcare reform. I am moved by Shilo's feminist awakening in her realization that she needs to make her own way in the world and her overprotective father is keeping her down. The lyrics of her last song in the film "Genetic Emancipation" almost bring me to tears: "I've mistaken for destiny/but the truth is my legacy is not up to my genes/Though the imprint is deep in me/It will always be up to me." *sob*

So, yeah. Good stuff. Highly recommended!

Book/Movie Review: "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

I kept hearing about this book The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, on NPR, in Entertainment Weekly, pretty much anywhere that might conceivably talk about books. So, I hopped onto my local library's website and reserved it. ...And was like, #74 in line for it. I think I waited two months!

I finally got my grubby little hands on the book, started it...and was promptly bored senseless. The first three to four chapters of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo are really kinda boring. IT GETS A LOT BETTER, FOR REAL. Once you meet the titular tattooed girl, Lisbeth Salander, you're hooked. The book starts with several chapters about the libel trial of journalist Mikael Blomkvist. He's going down in a pretty big way, but it's also pretty boring because you don't know shit about him to start and also. Libel? Unless it's scandalous (and this isn't, it's like corporate financial shit), it's pretty fucking dull. So, whatever. He's a decent guy though and needs to find a new job because he's lost about all his journalistic cred. When he gets out of prison, a rich man, Henrik Vanger (And yes, I totally had to use my copy of the book to correctly spell all these names, ok?) hires Blomkvist to look into the disappearance and probable murder of his beloved niece Harriet 40 years ago. At first, Blomkvist is like, "...No," but then figures he really doesn't have anything better to do and takes the job. And starts digging into the past and trying to unravel the mystery of Harriet's disappearance and along the way, learning just how FUCKED UP the Vanger family is. 'Cause...damn.

So, ok, that's the A storyline, for the most part. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT LISBETH SALANDER. SHE IS SO GREAT. She is tiny and mean and brilliant and pierced and tattooed and fierce and utterly vicious when crossed. She is a great character. As soon as she showed up, I was like, "HELLO. NOW WE'RE TALKING." Salandar is an awesome ass-kicking heroine and I am a girl who appreciates such things. NOW. NO MORE ABOUT THE PLOT. THERE ARE TWISTS AND MYSTERIES AND I SHAN'T GIVE THEM AWAY.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is part of the Millenium trilogy. The second book The Girl Who Played with Fire is already out and has been devoured by me. (I liked it, but I liked the first one better!) And the third book The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest will be out in May. (ALREADY OUT IN OTHER COUNTRIES INCLUDING BRITAIN. AND IF YOU THINK I DIDN'T CONSIDER ORDERING IT FROM AMAZON UK, YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN. Ahem.) The author Stieg Larsson apparently had plans for a 10-book epic series but died of Mysterious Circumstances after finishing book three. HMMMM. "Mysterious Circumstances" because he was a journalist who did a lot of investigating and writing into asshole neo-Nazi groups and was a relatively young man who randomly dropped dead. Draw your own conclusions there, people.

Mom and I both really enjoyed the books so when we heard there was a well-received film make of the first book, we were so there!

Ok, allow me to rant: The ONLY reason that I heard about the film adaptation was because I listen to BBC radio. It has not been advertised at ALL in the U.S. and barely talked about by film reviewers here. Ebert reviewed it, the print version of Entertainment Weekly did not (though I just cancelled my subscription because that magazine is total bullshit and has been for years now), my beloved Peter Travers of Rolling Stone did (I can't link it because the website is being weird) and I saw no previews for it on television. Not even on BBC America. This is total bullshit. I know there's an American remake in the works but I have no interest in it. This original Swedish version is so awesome. I know, I sound like an Annoying Douchebag Hipster who's all, "Welll, I like the FOREIGN FILM BETTER, YOU PLEBE. You just don't appreciate REAL CINEMA." But the assumption that people from the U.S. don't want to watch foreign/subtitled films BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME. With a good subtitled film, you totally forget that it's subtitled. Your brain starts to put the dialogue and subtitles together and you don't even notice it after awhile. And The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is very, very good. It gets all the important elements of the book*, condenses the rest and the performances are AWESOME.

*However, be warned: both the book AND the movie contain some pretty graphic scenes of sexual violence. In the film, it goes on so long I started looking off to the side of the screen and hoping for a fade-to-black. If that kind of things upsets you, take a bathroom break, for real.

Worst. Date. (Movie.) Ever.

So, I read this article about the worst date movies of all time and oh, it reminded me of a story. Ok, we're back in time to this era. I'd started seeing a very nice guy, Pong. Pong had the stupendous luck to be the first guy I dated after Ex and boy, was I a treat.

Anyway, he and I had just started hanging out and I was desperately trying to appear, you know, NORMAL and not batshit crazy. A losing game all around, really. One night, Pong came over to my apartment to watch a movie. Now, you may have noticed about me that I like movies. I have a lot of them. Also, I was managing a video store at the time so there were always tons of screeners and rentals hanging about. So, I told Pong to pick one of my movies.

The movie he chooses? Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. I KNOW, RIGHT? (If you've never seen the film, it's the prequel to the television series. It's a David Lynch film. 'Nuff said, right? It's full of freakishness, violence and sex. Lots and lots of really weird, kinky, rapey sex.) I froze and said, "Uh, are you sure?" and Pong was like, "Yep!" and I was like, "Have you SEEN that movie before?" and he was like, "No, but I've heard it's good. It's good, right?" and I had to be all, "...Yes" becaues it's true. It IS good. It's just...disturbing. REALLY, REALLY DISTURBING.

Cut to 45 or so minutes later...

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY LIFE. I'm scrunched in the corner of the couch with my hand half covering my face. Pong is very pointedly not looking at me. I think I cracked around the time we got to the scenes of father/daughter incest and just yelped, "CAN WE PLEASE WATCH SOMETHING ELSE?!" and Pong said, "DEAR GOD, YES." So much for appearing "normal." I owned the damn movie. Heh.

Awkward.

IT'S THE SNOWMAGEDDON!!!11!!

Today was the second (or was it third?) HUGE snow storm that we've gotten here in NJ. Gotta love global warming, right?

I did not go to work because there weather dot com told me I would be in "life-threatening peril" if I left my house. No doubt from polar bears and walruses and ice weasels. I spent the day downloading music and watching the first two Underworld movies. With commentary. Come, let me tell you about the HUGE, WEIRD CRUSH I have on Michael Sheen. Or as Sorsha calls it, my "Michael Sheen Pathology." And she's a mental health professional. She would know.

The first and third Underworld movies are delightfully terrible, just the thing to watch with friends and mock. The second one: Underworld: Evolution? Was an absolute TRIAL to get through and Sheen in in the damn thing for LITERALLY 10 seconds. Awesome. It's a dreadful movie. And I like Scott Speedman as much as the next heterosexual woman with a working optic nerve (TEAM BEN ALL THE WAY!!!), but even his sex scene was lousy. I'm sure glad that the director mentioned in the commentary that the latex suit Kate Beckinsale was wearing smelled like a giant condom. Because that's all I could think of. GREAT.

While I wouldn't exactly call the Underworld franchise a feat of feminist filmmaking, I do enjoy that no one seems to bat an eye at Beckinsale's Selene kicking ass and taking names AND being a girl. They never even mention it. I mean, she's not a human woman, she's a vampire so it's not like she's striking a blow for the average woman. And she's wearing a shiny catsuit that looks like they spraypainted it on her, but still. I'll take my tiny victories where I can get them.

Happy Holidays, Y'all!

I hope all our readers who haven't fled out of disinterest had a wonderful holiday season! If you did flee out of disinterest, well, you aren't reading this anyway, so who cares?

Things I've been doing lately:

• Baking many, many cookies, especially snickerdoodles. Snickerdoodles are the BEST.
  
• Watching lots of British televison, particularly North and South (No, not the awful Civil War one. The U.K. one with the delectable Richard Armitage. If you like swoony period dramas, this is TOTALLY for you!) and MI-5, a twisty spy show. Which will soon star the delectable Richard Armitage but I'm not up to his season yet. But I can console myself with Matthew MacFadyen and Rupert Penry-J0nes.
  
• Reading The Hunger Games trilogy. Like dystopian science fiction aimed at young adult readers? No? Read this anyway. You won't be sorry.
  
• Reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire. Just like with The Hunger Games, it's a trilogy of which the first two books are available. AWESOME.
  
• Listening to Adam Lambert and Lady GaGa. I KNOW. When did I turn into like, a 14-year-old raver? Or whatever the kids are calling it these days. I don't even know!
• Just saw Sherlock Holmes. Loved it to little pieces. Mark Strong: super hot or superDUPER hot?

Things have been busy, but fun. Mostly, with some noteable exceptions. I promise, one of my New Year's resolutions will be to blog more often! Also, Mame has some big news and I'm sure she'll be about to share it!

A Most Important Query.

My fellow bloggers/readers, please help settle a disagreement between Sorsha and myself. What is the funniest movie ever: Airplane! or Spaceballs?

Now, I understand you may have another movie that is not one of the two aformentioned films that you (incorrectly!) deem Funniest. Movie. Ever. I ask that you please refrain from choosing one of those. I will put up a post for that later, I promise. For now, I want to settle the Airplane! vs. Spaceballs Death Match. Thank you for your time.

If you read this blog, please ring in with your vote. This is perhaps the first major disagreement that Sorsha and I have had! Oh, and I won't mention just yet who prefers which movie as I don't want to inappropriately influence your vote. (Though if you know me reasonably well, you probably already know where my loyalty lies!)

Mini-Review: "Twilight Saga: New Moon"

When the credits rolled, I curled up in a ball in my seat and laughed until I cried. Twilight Saga: New Moon* is the best comedy of the year! Well done! I haven't laughed so hard in years!

*What a pretentious title, you douchebags.

My Obsession With "The Terminator" Series or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned To Love The Robot

HA! I started this back when Terminator: Salvation was in the theaters. I suck. Sorry! Mame and I will try to get back to regular posting again soon. We've both been so busy! SORRY.

So, there's a new Terminator movie out! Yay! I am a total FREAK for the Terminator movies (Well, for the first two movies, anyway). The way some people are about Star Trek? I'm that way about The Terminator. I first saw The Terminator when I was about 6 years old. It made quite an impression on me and remains to this day, my favorite movie. Unfortunately, I am ridiculously geeky about it and am fiercely protective of the characters. I managed about half of one episode of The Sarah Connor Chronicles because turning it off because it didn't fit into my view of that particular fictional universe. I know, I know. (But...BUT!!! John Connor is NOT a whiny little bitch! Kyle Reese did NOT have a BROTHER. Sarah Connor would NOT shack up with Ryan O'Reily, OK.)

Sorry about that. Anyway, The Terminator is a sci-fi action film set in the early 80s. Linda Hamilton plays Sarah Connor, a regular girl with a crappy waitressing job and a jerk boyfriend. (Later in the series, it's stated that Sarah is 19 years old. Which I'll go with that since the movie tells me so, but Hamilton was a good 10 years older than that when they made the film. Just sayin'.) She's not especially tough or ass-kicking. She's cute and funny and nice and has a hilarious 80s shag haircut. But that's about it. But there are two men looking for her, one a giant Austrian bodybuilder (Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger) and the other an intense blond guy a trench coat and messy hair (Paging EGT! More about him later, I promise). Both men are dodgy and heavily armed. We see that the enormous Austrian is killing all the ladies in the phone book named Sarah Connor. This is not looking good for our girl.

So, after many bullets fly and several women mistaken for Sarah Connor are dead, the hot blond guy (Did I forget to mention that he is HOT?) finds Sarah and saves her life. His name is Kyle Reese and he's a soldier sent from the future to protect her. The guy trying to kill her is a Terminator, a metal robot wearing a person suit, also sent from the future. She has been "targeted for termination" because she will give birth to John Connor who will lead the human revolution in the war against the machines. Sarah is understandably dubious regarding this turn of events. But Kyle convinces her and they go on to kick ass, our girl Sarah finding all sorts of reserves of strength and awesomeness that she didn't know she had.

It's SUCH a great movie; tightly plotted, action-packed, well-written and suspenseful. There is not an ounce of fat on this screenplay, everything that is in it is there for a reason. It handles the time travel aspect extremely well and in an innovative way. Also, there is quite a bit of exposition that has to be delivered and I feel like it's done really well. There's tons of information that the viewer needs to know about this particular apocalyptic future and that could get boring fast and it doesn't. As for the Terminator effects...well. It WAS made 25 years ago (DAMN. 25 YEARS AGO?!) and you kind of have to make allowances for that. But the Terminator endoskeleton is still TERRIFYING.

Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese are great characters. Kyle Reese was my first love, seriously, when I was a little girl. He's tough, hot, smart, TOTALLY BADASS and not afraid to defer to a woman or allow her to take charge. (I appreciated similar qualities in another character that Michael Biehn played, Cpl. Hicks in Aliens. Call me, Michael Biehn*!) Kyle protects Sarah and teaches her how to blow shit up, but never condescends to her. It's awesome.

And Sarah Connor. Oh, Sarah Connor, you have been the pinnacle of badass women for over 25 years. You have shown sexually confused girls the way toward happy bisexualism (...so I've heard). You are the perfect balance of mother/warrior. That's one of the best things about Sarah. She's not just famous for giving birth to The Legend John Connor. She didn't just gestate him and then hand him over to like, a team of ninjas. She raised him and taught him all his badass robot-destroying skills. And she was just a regular girl before the Terminator showed up on her doorstep. She didn't now how to load a gun or blow up a warehouse or steal a credit card. She learned, taught her son and then he will save the world.

Now, I know some people will insist that Terminator 2 is the superior movie. To those people, I say, "BAH." The effects are superior and they are still pretty damned astonishing. But there're some plot holes there and too much Arnold and it's just, to me, not as good at the first. The third movie was...better than I expected. It's not awesome, but it's not terrible either. There's a really interesting story there about John Connor living off the grid, as a homeless dude because he's totally adrift that his life's mission has been averted. Unfortunately, that's not the story the filmmaker wanted to tell. Alas.

I can't wait for Terminator: Salvation to come out on DVD! Christian Bale and Sam Worthington! WOOOO!

*I met Michael Biehn at a horror con over the summer. I know, I'm a total nerd. It was pretty great. He was really nice and I managed not to be creepy at him. Success!

Movie Review: "Jennifer's Body"

S0, I said to Sorsha one day last week, "Um...you wouldn't want to go see that movie Jennifer's Body, by any chance, would you?" and her response was, "YES." We were all set for mockery and derision! What's more fun than a bad horror movie at almost-Halloween? But, you guys! It's actually a really good movie! We were stunned!

I don't like Diablo Cody much. I pretty much disliked Juno and don't watch her show. I find her column in Entertainment Weekly annoying. But I really liked Jennifer's Body and her script is a large part of why. Some of her pop culture references grated like they did in Juno but not as badly. I found the movie to be an interesting somewhat-deconstruction of horror movies with a feminist bent. Seriously, they should show Jennifer' Body in a double feature with Teeth for cautionary tales of what happens when you fuck with girls.

My only opinion of Megan Fox going into the movie was 1. She's very pretty 2. Shut the fuck up about her. I despised the first Transformers movie and obviously wasn't going to bother with the sequel. Which, from what I heard, was right choice. (19%? Ouch!) But Fox is really good in Jennifer's Body! Her character, the titular Jennifer (See what I did there?) is possibly a demon or something. She hits just the right balance between vapid teenage girl and you know, boy-eating demon. (I'm not spoiling you for anything that wasn't in the trailer, calm down.) It's a very fun performance. And my GOD, is she pretty. Like, stupidly pretty.

I already adored Amanda Seyfried. She was Lilly Kane! She's very, very good as Jennifer's geeky, put-upon best friend, Needy. She suspects something's...amiss with her best friend early on in the game but doesn't fly into action until her cute boyfriend Chip* is threatened. To either be eaten or stolen. You know, either way. Seyfriend is also extremely pretty. Though that raspberry-colored prom dress HAS to go, ok?

But my very, very favorite performance in the movie? Comes from Adam Brody as the douchebag, wanna-be rock star who starts all this shit. He was HILARIOUS. Why doesn't he get more roles? He's very likeable. And looks hot in eyeliner.

Anyway, Jennifer's Body isn't really that scary. It's got a few creepy moments and jump-out-at-you scares and it's plenty gory. But it's really more funny. Sorsha and I laughed hysterically for most of the movie and I almost spit out my Coke at one point. I wish IMDB had more memorable quotes listed because there were PLENTY and I'd like to giggle at them at my leisure. Though there is one scene with Jennifer flashing a slow, creepy smile right into the camera that had me flinching back. Well done, Ms. Fox. Well done!

The negative reviews that the movie is recieving are pissing me off. Most of them seem to totally miss the point of the movie and to be like, offended by its existence. Which, ok, way to overreact. I think the problem is partially Cody and Fox, two over-exposed personalities, to be sure. But they're really good here! Give them a chance! Also, sorry, but I chalk a lot of it up to sexism. Sexist assholes who just want to dismiss any work by women. And this is a movie written, directed and mostly starring women. Oh, I'm sorry. Are women talking here? Are we BOTHERING YOU? Are we getting our GIRLINESS all over your HORROR MOVIES? SORRY. Except not really.

Ahem. That was a bit tedious. Anyway, go see Jennifer's Body. It's a good time.

*Ha, I was reading Roger Ebert's review of the movie and he was all, "Of course Chip's a good guy. His name is Chip Dove. Who would name a bad guy Chip Dove?" HA. Um, John Irving would. And did. That made me giggle.

Thursday Night TV...WOOO!

A brief conversation between my and my brother, BW:

BW: Dude. You aren't watching The Vampire Diaries, are you?
Me: Yes! HAHAHA! I hope it's terrible!
BW: Yeah, I think you'll get your wish...

(So far, it's pretty bad and bearing almost NO resemblance to the books. Bah. Blatant Twilight rip-off, which is just...sad. And I think I despise the girl playing Elena.)

Also, tonight is the season premiere of Supernatural! I stumbled over this Open Letter to Eric Kripke last night and...OH MY GOD, DO I AGREE. Seriously, Supernatural writers, try to be less douchy. I love your show but I'm tired of feeling guilty about it because of the consistent racism and misogyny. Enough already. I know you all aren't stupid and you really can't pretend that you don't KNOW that you're doing it. And even if you weren't aware, more discerning fans have been pointing it out for years. STOP. REALLY. I'd like my eye candy and my horror homages and my dark plot twists to be less RAGE-INDUCING. Thanks!

Also, how much am I going to go see Fame? HA. SO MUCH. I absolutely adore a good peforming arts high school drama! I even rented that one with Hillary Duff...which lasted about 10 minutes because it was TERRIBLE. And Center Stage is one of my favorite movies! HA.

Yet Another Catch-Up Post

Hi everyone! Mame and I have been fairly busy lately! She's trying to buy a house and not lose her damn mind, both of which are full time jobs. I've been trying to be supportive by finding new and interesting ways to call her a whore on her voicemail. Don't you wish I was your best friend? I bet you do!

I've been travelling all over the place! Well, up and down the east coast. Sort of. Mom and I went to my baby cousin Brianna's baby shower at the beginning of the month. Ah, family. That's all I really need to say about that, isn't it? Also, I will never again set foot in a church with a house band. Ok? Ok.

Then I spent an AWESOME weekend in Boston, visiting EGT and Dr. Smarty-Pants. The planets aligned and allowed for all the Email Girls to converge in the city for a brief window of time. There was like, fairy dust and shit. So, The World Traveller, Chicklet and Agent Mascara joined us and a good time was had by all. And I really mean it! We had a BLAST. There was boozing, cake-eating, Criminal Minds, Doctor Who and Blackpool-watching (EGT: "The scene where David Tennant sings 'Should I Stay' is the best scene ever committed to film." Email Girls: "AGREED."). Action figures of the Master and the Tenth Doctor went to the prom together. It was very touching. Cardboard!David Tennant ate some cake. Season 4 of Doctor Who was compared to lupus. Dr. Smarty-Pants made commemorative buttons that we all wore with pride. In other news, we are giant dorks, but we have fun. Agent Mascara and I were loosed, unsupervised, in Boston, where we did not get lost or trip over something and then die. If you know Agent Mascara or me, you know this was quite the accomplishment. We were quite proud.

Next, I'm heading to Pittsburgh to visit Sid, Andie, Mothra and Conan, who is now ONE YEAR OLD. WOOOOO!!!! I'll also meet up with Dr. Fabulous.

My life is rather full just now and I'm feeling quite content!

Also, enjoy these brief reviews of the following media I've consumed recently:

• District 9: I'm not as in love with it as everyone else seemed to be. It was interesting and smart, which is a nice change for a summer movie. But the depiction of the Nigerian drug lords made me rather uncomfortable, especially in a film that is ostensibly about racism. Hmm. It is nice to see an indie film rake in the bank. However, please do not make a sequel. PLEASE.
  
• The Time Traveler's Wife: No, seriously. Read the book.
• The Inglorious Bastards: I refuse to misspell the title. Anyway...OH MY GOD! LOVED IT! Quentin Tarantino is one of my very favorite filmmakers and I adored this movie. I'd see it again immediately. Also, Eli Roth? Call me. You are hot.
• Into The Wild (book): Very good book. Didn't do much to change my opinion of Christopher McCandless, but I don't really want to speak ill of the dead. I actually enjoyed Jon Krakauer's digressions and I seem to be in the minority about that. You should probably go read it and Into Thin Air, also by Krakauer. Now I want to see the film version. Has anyone else checked it out and can give it a yay or nay?
• And I Don't Want To Live This Life: Ok, it's a biography of Nancy Spungen, girlfriend of Sid Vicious who was murdered by him in 1978. My grandmother used to have quite the selection of pulpy trash novels from the 1970s and I read this one when I was 12 or 13. I'd never even heard of the Sex Pistols when I first read it, so I decided to snag it from the library and give it another go. The book is written by her mother and while I'm not sure I'm buying everything she's selling, it's appalling how Spungen is still vilified. Um, everyone in the punk scene was an asshole, not just her. That's the POINT of the punk scene. I'd recommend it if you are interested in that particular scene or era.
• Being Human: a Brit import about a werewolf, a ghost and a vampire sharing a flat and struggling with their various supernatural issues. It sounds sort of stupid, but it's very funny and cute and smartly written. And let me introduce you to Mitchell, the vampire and my new boyfriend. Behold. He often wears fingerless gloves. For some reason, I find this insanely hot.
• System Of A Down: Um. Where have I been? These guys are awesome and, as usual, I am the last to know. See, what happens, if you're me, is that you watch a documentary on the Armenian Genocide (Don't ask.) and they're all over it! They you're frantically downloading their music and moping over the fact that you will never seem them perform live. GRRR.
  
• Mad Men: Are you still not watching it? Get on that, would you? "I'm Peggy Olson and I want to smoke some marijuana." HA!

HEE! This post was repeatedly kicked back by Blogger for having too many tags!

A Haiku About The Film Adaptation of One of My Favorite Books: "The Time Traveler's Wife"

Rachel McAdam's
Pretty. You see Eric Bana's ass.
Read the book instead.

So. Um. Wow, Where Does The Time Go?

Oh, I'll TELL you where it goes...it goes into Facebook, the world's biggest time suck ever. Seriously, if there is an American Gods-ish Facebook god, I am keeping it very well-fed. I blame Mame for this. Apparently, everyone I've ever met in my life is on there. Good times.

Hmmm...what's been going on around here? Made it back from vacation with the family on the Outer Banks. Hey, did you know that the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel is 23 miles long? A little PSA from me to you. So that when you are driving across it, you won't look around to see your car entirely surrounded by water with no end in sight and ask your mother, "Uh...how long IS this thing*?" to have her airily say, "Oh, 20 miles?" You're welcome! Actually, it was sort of fun, like driving a roller coaster.

It's very pretty on the Outer Banks. A bit buggy this year. Everyone from the island seemed extremely apologetic about that fact. I was all, "Whatev, I'm from Jersey, as least these mosquitos doesn't give you mutant superpowers, AMIRITE?!"

I got a large proportion of my family watching True Blood. My mom brought her season 1 DVDs down and I hectored Bri into watching them because Bri, as she would say, "loves that hot vampire shit." Yeah, I don't want to know either. She loved it: predictable. Not so predictable? My uncles Claudius and Jazz and teenage cousin *** (Because I am TOTALLY blanking on a nome de blog for him right now. Someone help me out with that?) were all into it too. Heh.

We watched lots of movies too. The uncles were appalled that I'd never seen The Big Lebowski and set to remedy that straightaway. I liked it; it was very amusing and confounding. I'm not prepared to start a RELIGION around it the way some people seem to be, but it was fun. I brought The Midnight Meat Train with me, thinking it would be fun to watch with Uncle Jazz because he's a big horror movie buff like me. He'd already seen it but consented to watching it again with me and Bri. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! That movie is HILARIOUS. It's not good, but it's not terrible either. It's plenty gory and has some good kills and wacky camera angles. Bradley Cooper is SMOKIN' HOT as always. I recommend it but only if you are a hardcore horror fan. The story is ridiculous and the characters do things that make no sense and the ending -- AHAHAHAHAHA! Then we watched Slither, which Homer has been after me since forever to watch. It was pretty great. I love Nathan Fillion.

I've been going to the movies quite a bit this summer. It's one of my favorite things to do and there's been a pretty good selection this year. I've seen:

• Public Enemies with Sorcha. It was good times, Johnny Depp was MADE for that kind of period dress. See? The movie itself is overlong, but good. LOTS of gunfire. SO MANY BULLETS. Christian Bale was hot too, once you get past the fact that his character is named "Melvin Purvis." Was there ever an unsexier name? I think not.
  
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: It's a good movie and I liked it. I don't have a whole lot to say about it like I don't have a whole lot to say about the book. The book is sort of a place-holder and so is the movie. I will say that I continue to be sort of confused by the pacing of these movies. They leave out SO MUCH, which is understandable since the books are a million pages long. But then they make up stuff that wasn't in the books when they could just...use stuff that they left out. I don't know? And sometimes stuff they leave in doesn't seem nearly as important as what they leave out. Like, the whole Ron/Lavendar subplot goes on for WAY too long. I mean, yeah, it's amusing and gives Rupert Grint a chance to be goofy and Dumbledore a funny line, but really? And the half-blood prince thing is barely covered? Ok.
  
• (500) Days of Summer; I was totally psyched for this the first time I saw the preview. I adore Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. I love quirky romances. They played a couple in Manic, a film I adore and I was pleased to see them play one again. I love The Smiths. (Although, really. Who doesn't?) THEN, I FOUND OUT. SPENCER REID IS IN IT, YOU GUYS. DONE. It's a really cute movie, you should go see it. SPENCER REID!!! Ahem.
• The Hurt Locker: the best movie I've seen all year. Honestly, I can't imagine another movie being better. I DEMAND Academy Award nominations for Kathryn Bigelow, Anthony Mackie and most of all, Jeremy Renner. One one hand, it's an intense, suspenseful action movie where lots of shit gets blown up and hot men are being stoic and competent. (Seriously, Ralph Fiennes has a cameo and I've never seen him look hotter.) On the other hand, it's this heart-breaking look at the effects of war and its costs. These soldiers are in life-threatening situations at every moment. They literally have to kill or be killed. A split-second hesitation or minor misreading of a situation could cost them or their fellow soldiers their lives. Your son/daughter/brother/sister/whatever wants to join the military? Make them watch this movie first. The last ten minutes felt like a kick to the stomach.

*That's what she said!