Christmas, Christmas Time Is Here!

Ah, a December Saturday evening...I'm tucked up in my warmest jimjams with a cup of tea and an English muffin preparing to do one of my favorite lame seasonal activities: watching Christmas episodes of television shows on DVD. And if you think I'm SUPER lame for doing this...well. Sustained, I guess. But I AM super lame and this blog generally documents my lamitudes and you find that delightful, DON'T YOU? Ahem.

ANYWAY.

I'm starting with My So-Called Life,"So-Called Angels." I'm about 30 seconds in and oh, Ricky. I started here because I've been listening to the Extra Hot Great podcast (And if you're not, you should be. And the Pop Culture Happy Hour. Seriously. They both bring me much glee at work. And really, who couldn't use more glee at work? You could. I know you could) and they were talking about MSCL and it made me remember how much I love that show. (Also, 10 minutes in and I remember how much I loathe Angela's sister Danielle. Shut UP, Danielle, GOD.)

So here's what I've got on deck (Literally, I have a pile of DVDs sitting next to me):

• Gilmore Girls, "Forgiveness and Stuff," season 1, episode 10. Everyone is still mad at everyone after Rory and Dean stayed out all night after her first dance. The Richard goes to the hospital with chest pains and they get over it. Oh, season one Gilmore Girls. How much you did not suck! Remember when I you didn't want to slap Rory?
  
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Amends," season 3, episode 10. The one where The First Evil makes its, um, first appearance and tries to corrupt Angel. And Willow tries to seduce Oz in an adorable fashion. I know most people don't like this episode but it's full of angst delicious angst and I love it.
  
• Joan of Arcadia, "The Uncertainty Principle," season 1 episode 11. This one fudging a little because it's not a terribly Christmasy episode but it revolves around the winter dance. God tells Joan to go to the dance with a troubled boy (Who played Andrew Schillinger on Oz and it weirded me out to see him here) and things get all dramatic. I always get the chills during the last five minutes of this episode.
  
• Veronica Mars, "An Echolls Family Christmas," season 1, episode 10. Veronica is hired to find out who stole the winnings from a 09er poker game and Keith investigates a famous actor's stalking. There's a shanking. It's pretty awesome.
  
• Doctor Who, "The Christmas Invasion," series 2, episode 1. God, I love this episode. David Tennant's first episode as the Tenth Doctor and he totally kicks ass. I got annoyed with Ten toward the end (SHUT UP WITH YOUR EMO MAN PAIN, FOR REAL!) but I adored him when he first started.
  
• The West Wing, "In Excelsis Deo," season 1, episode 20 and "Noel," season 2, episode 10. The first is when a homeless veteran dies wearing a coat that Toby donated to Goodwill and Toby arranges a military funeral for him. The second is the one where Josh has PTSD and is my second favorite episode of TWW EVER (My first favorite, like everyone else ever, is "Two Cathedrals").
  
• The Office, "Christmas Party, season 2, episode 16. Yaaaankee swap and Jim gets Pam a teapot. (I also hate Michael Scott.)
  
• Scrubs, "My Own Personal Jesus," season 1, episode 11. The gang deliver a baby in a park. Dr. Cox is grinchy.
  

So...what's YOUR favorite Christmas episode? Something I didn't mention? Do you hate Danielle Chase as much as I do?

Boston, Genre Novels and This American Life

Since I've received reports that my repeated rounds of Marry, Cliff, Shag are appalling my Uncle Volstaag (I didn't even know that was possible!), let's talk about something else, shall we?

I just got back from a rockin' trip to Boston to visit EGT and Dr. Smarty-Pants. (Not to be confused with Dr. Fabulous. I know lots of doctors, ok?) I'd never been to Boston before, so I was quite excited. Of course, I hurt my back again right before the trip and spent the days before in a flurry of muscle relaxers and chiropractics. I was taking the train and it's a 6-hour ride. I wasn't sure how well this would go, as sitting is especially uncomfortable. But it turned out ok, I could walk up and down the aisles when my back got too stiff. The people in the car with me probably thought I was really weird, but whatever. I am really weird and it's not like I'd ever see them again. Generally, I love taking the train; it's my favorite way to travel. I read and listened to NPR podcasts on Frank the iPod. I discovered that if it appears that you are reading gay porn no one will sit next to you. Even on a crowded train car. HA!

So, I got to Boston and EGT and I attend a very elegant cocktail party that Dr. Smarty-Pants is hosting. (Martinis with marshmallow Peeps in them. I must get the recipe) It was SO much fun. I can be fairly reserved around people I don't know, but everyone at this party was so awesome and smart and funny and welcoming and I had a great time. In spite of a near-death experience with a flying champagne cork and getting my ass kicked at Wii Tetris, a good time was had by all.

EGT, Dr. Smarty-Pants and I went on a tour of Boston the next day. I saw Harvard! And other stuff! I bought my mother a postcard of whatever stadium the Red Sox play in just to annoy her. (It worked!) EGT pointed out various historical sites. Either she is very well-versed on her local history or she is very gifted at making up plausible-sounding historical lies. Probably the former. She also pointed out every alley that we saw because I made her watch one episode of Criminal Minds because it was set in Boston and she was appalled by the lack of locational accuracy, particularly the oversized alleys.

Then we watched hours and hours of Doctor Who and geeked out about it the way only DW fans can. Well, maybe Buffy or Veronica Mars fans. They can get pretty enthusiatic. And then we made the folly of ignoring warnings from The Gods of Takeout Food and ended up ordering Chinese food from three different places, only to be foiled twice and then end up with the Worst. Chinese. Food. Ever. And no fortune cookies! (Says EGT the next morning: "Why didn't we just eat cereal?" Bea & Dr. Smarty-Pants: "...") I made them watch the season four finale of DW, "Journey's End" because I hadn't seen it and I thought there was no way it could be as bad as they'd said it was. OH MY GOD, IT WAS. I felt guilty for inflicting it on them. They were very forgiving and we cleansed our palates with John Simm's turn as The Master. (I can't stop watching either of those clips. They crack me up. I...may have problems)

It was a really fun trip. (Still sorry about "Journey's End," you guys!)

So, Mame has been devouring the Sookie Stackhouse novels. Mom and I already burned our way through them, so I've been enjoying her up-to-the-minute text messages, phone calls and IMs as she progresses through the series. HA. Examples: "OH MY GOD, ERIC!!!" "BILL, WTF?!?!" "QUIIIIIINNN!!" "I LOVE SOOKIE!!11" The next book is out in May and we are eagerly anticipating it. You guys, the show and the books are awesome and you should check out both of them. Join us in the insanity! It's fun over here and we have cookies!

I've just started the Harry Dresden series and I like it quite a bit. I'm only on book two, but it's pretty great. Anyone else read them? (My, I'm linky in this post!)

The book I was reading on the train that was possibly gay porn was Corambis, book four on the Doctrine of Labyrinth series. I blogged awhile ago about my adoration of the first two books in the series, Melusine and The Virtu. The third book, The Mirador, was pretty good. But I LOVED Corambis. It's probably my favorite of the series. It's not nearly as tawdry as the cover would suggest, but really well-written and Monette even manages to introduce a new character (The guy in chains on the cover) and get me invested in and care about him. That's no mean feat as I was really desparate to know what was going to happen to Felix and Mildmay. I zipped through it in three days and can't wait for it to come out in paperback so I can buy it. (I hate buying hardcovers and I want my books in the series to "match." I know, I know, I'm weird)

Mom and I recently attended the live show of This American Life and it was AWESOME. They filmed it, I think, in New York City and beamed it to movie theaters. Ira Glass is so cute, you guys. Mike Birbiglia (Who I LOVE) gave one of his funny/cringey routines about a car accident, Starlee Kines did a bit about therapy and killing your parents (...figuratively!) and Dan Savage talked about his mom's death and his quasi-return to Catholicism. It was really funny and touching and might have made me cry. I'm hot/cold on his sex column, but his writing is pretty excellent. There was a very strange cartoon about a cat head and an abusive mouse and Joss Whedon sang a song from the musical commentary of Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog. I quashed the urge the yell, "WHY DOES DOLLHOUSE SUCK?!?" but his performance was very fun. I think they're doing a second airing in early May and I HIGHLY recommend going.

So, that was really long. What have you been up to? Mame, any news you want to share?

A Brief Note to the Writers of "Heroes..."

Oh, you guys. Your show is so stupid! But hey, give me scenes of Kristen Bell and Zachary Quinto yelling and throwing lightning at each other any old time, okay? Also, if said lightning could blow their clothes off and then they breathe on each other a lot? That's fine too!

No, that really happened. I couldn't make ridiculous shit up like that. I am not a writer for Heroes. But that's why I still watch! Hahahahaha. Oh, Heroes. I could never hate you, hoagie.

P.S. There was also a girl chained to a wall. CHAINED. TO. A. WALL. WHAT? On network television people! Girls in chains! HAHAHAHAHA!

Actually, Mr. Loaf, two out of three IS pretty bad. But thanks for playing.

So, remember this post? Yeah. That one. About my shows. So, YAY! Friday Night Lights and Supernatural got renewed! And FNL will be moved to Friday nights as God and the title intended. Supernatural is still up against Grey's Anatomy, but Grey's and I might be breaking up, so I don't care that much. Yay, my love affair with the Panther's football team and the hotness of the Winchester men can continue!!

But.

You know what isn't going to continue? Veronica Mars. Yes. They cancelled it. Fuckers. I'm so gonna miss this show. Sure, I'll have my dvds and maybe there'll be like, crappy tie-in novels or something, but it's not the saaaaaaaaaaame. Yes, there will be whining. Deal with it. It was one of the best shows on television, you guys! YOU GUYS! It was witty! It was dark! It was well-plotted! So, naturally, it got cancelled! Grrrr. Man, the pilot of that show was one of the best I'd ever seen. And most pilots suck. (I'm kind of looking at you, Supernatural. I may have turned it off 10 minutes in when it premiered. Heh.) Most shows take a few episodes to find their feet, but as long as you ignore the whole-Paris-Hilton-guest-starring-in-episode-two, Veronica Mars kicked ass right out of the gate. Damn. Now I have to dig out my dvds and rewatch the pilot. Ah, here comes one of my favorite lines from Veronica's best friend/partner-in-(Really. NO, really!) crime, Wallace: You really think I’m gonna let you get away with that? That might play with the masses. But underneath that angry-young-women-shell, there’s a slightly less angry young woman who’s just dying to bake me something. You’re a marshmallow, Veronica Mars... Aaaand now I'm really pissed. Stupid television networks with their stupid selves.

But.

While I'm writing this bitter, bitter post, I'm currently watching Dog the Bounty Hunter on the phone with Mame while snacking on pretzels. What more could I want? (Don't answer that.) Heh.

P.S. Mame and I decided that there hasn't been enough Meat Loaf on our blog. We are going to remedy that. Oh yes, WE WILL. *cackles*

Save These Shows!1111!!11

Ok, so, Mame writes an intelligent post about the First Amendment and current events...and I'm going to write about the three television shows that I love the most, that had better not get cancelled. But might. Because the world hates me. And wants me to watch crappy television. Because the ass shows NEVER get cancelled or hang around for YEARS. Such as: Seventh Motherfucking Heaven, Dawson's Creek, One Tree Hill, Smallville (ugh) and AMERICAN IDOL. Ugh. Shows I loved that got cancelled WAY too soon: Everwood, Firefly, Angel, Farscape, Profit, Arrested Development, American Gothic, the late, lamented Rome, Twin Peaks and Joan of Arcadia. You'll note that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is NOT included on that list. Buffy was my favorite show ever, but that shit should have ended at season 5 with Buffy's ass in the ground. DONE. Sorry, I'm still not over that. So, anyway, on to my list...

First, Veronica Mars. This is my current favorite show. It's awesome. Veronica is a kick-ass character; she's smart, witty, tough, bitchy and generous. She's also flawed; she's judgemental, self-centered, vengeful and snotty. I don't want a television world where Veronica ISN'T around, solving crime and tossing off one-liners. The plot goes like this: Veronica is from the corrupt California town of Neptune. Her dad is the disgraced town sheriff-turned-private-detective-now-sheriff again. She helps him with his cases. Her best friend was murdered. She was roofied and raped at a rich kid's party. (There were...a lot of "r"s in that sentence. Heh.) Her drunken cow of a mother took off and stole a lot of money. Bad people try to kill her a lot. Bad people try to kill her dad a lot. Oh, and for a while? She thought she might have been dating her brother. (See, Mame? The incest just FOLLOWS US. Only in our entertainment, of course. 'Cause otherwise, ew.) There are twists on this show that I NEVER SEE COMING. It's one part mystery, one part drama and one part noir. With plenty of laughs and romance thrown in. The acting is incredible, Kristen Bell plays Veronica and knocks me out every week with her talent. Everyone else on the show rocks too. Seriously, this show is awesome and if it gets cancelled, there will be tears. And I will totally write one of my insane letters to the CW. (My theory behind letter-writing is this: make your letter just the teensiest bit insane. Just enough to get noticed. Not enough to get a restraining order. It's a fine line. Walk it carefully. Heh.)

My second show? Supernatural. I've gone on at some length in this space about my love for this show. Look, I'll be honest. Sometimes Supernatural is really fucking stupid. Sometimes the Winchester brothers and their dad hatch "brilliant" "plans" in their fight against evil that have me going, "Seriously? THAT'S your plan? THAT'S the best that the crack team of Winchester, Winchester and Winchester could come up with? Oooookay. Idiots boys." Sometimes the dialogue makes me want to beat my head against a wall. SOMETIMES THE ASSHOLES WHO MAKE UP THE "PREVIOUSLIES" GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TWISTS IN THE FIRST 30 SECONDS OF THE EPISODE. GOD. We're not STUPID, CW PROMO PEOPLE. If you include a character talking about how sometimes ghosts don't know they're dead and that's why they hang around...GUESS WHAT?! We're going to figure out that the guest star in the episode is...wait for it...A GHOST WHO DOESN'T KNOW HE OR SHE IS DEAD!!! They do that WAY too often. And a lot of the time, the female guest stars look like porn stars. And sometimes it's intentional. But mostly...it's not. It's just bad casting. And they act about as well as porn stars too. BUT. Supernatural has faaaar more good points than bad. For one thing? It's really fucking scary. The special effects are only so-so, but not too bad for a network tv show. It routinely makes me jump and screech. I'm watching my dvds as I type this (Skin, episode 1.6, if you're counting) and it's already scared the crap out of me three times. And I've SEEN this episode at least twice. SCARY. The acting from the three leads, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Jeffrey Dean Morgan is top-notch. (Honestly, Padalecki was pretty bad when the show first started. But he got much, MUCH better. And cuter. But more on that later.) The angst, people. THE ANGST. Dean (Ackles), Sam (Padalecki) and their dad, John (Morgan) are ALWAYS angsting and crying manly tears over SOMETHING. And they look good doing it. What can I say? I like my fictional characters to suffer. And speaking of looking good...ok. HOT. Jensen Ackles is my new tv boyfriend. The other boys are awfully nice to look at too. The bottom line (finally!) is that the show is entertaining as hell, scary, funny and twisty. And they use classic rock in the soundtrack! SCORE!

And finally...Friday Night Lights. I know, I'm as surprised as you. I LOATHE all forms of sports, football included. I mean, am actively hostile to them. But this show...TRANSCENDS that. It's shot kinda documentary-style, with improvised dialogue and REALLY naturalistic acting. I hate sports, but I LOVE me some teen drama. And this show has it. Matt Saracen, the shy quarterback, is one of the most adorable, angsty, sweet teens ever. Most episodes have me saying, "Oh Matt..." or "Poor Matt..." in tones usually reserved for Dean Winchester (see above.). His relationship with the coach's daughter Julie makes me squeal with it's adorableness. Speaking of coach, Coach Eric Taylor is played by Kyle Chandler (Last seen by me as the bomb guy who blew up on Grey's Anatomy.) and his wife, Tami by Connie Britton. They have the best marriage on television. For real. It's hard to believe these two AREN'T married in real life. It's just a great show, full of heart and humor. The characters are all totally believable and mostly likeable. Everyone should watch this show. For real. SO, DON'T CANCEL IT.

Aaand, I'm spent.