Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Celebrity Boyfriends II: The Dorkening

So, after reading Mame's awesome post on celebrity boyfriends, (of which I have many!) I just had to share some of our recent adventures on the Internets. Way back over the summer, Mame introduced me to an exciting show called Dog the Bounty Hunter. Dog is, clearly, a bounty hunter and he and his excessively-mammaried, but sassy wife Beth, best friend Tim, (I refuse to acknowledge his gross nickname) and two hot sons Leland and Duane Lee, catch bad guys and are fabulous in a totally trashy way that Mame and I very much appreciate. Mame is totally in love with Leland. And there is a sad paucity of good pictures of this very attractive young man online (Someone get on that, would you? Mame could probably use a new screensaver!) and I thought to try and find some for her. Being such an awesome friend and TOTAL enabler and all. So, I scamper over to our favorite website featuring silly videos, sure that there's a beefcakey photo shoot to be had or something. And...JACKPOT! I find a slideshow of pictures of Leland and IM it to her. Then, over the phone the next day, we have the following conversation:

Bea: So, did you get the IM I sent you last night? Of those pictures of Leland? [giggling.] I'M AWESOME!
Mame: [somewhat uncomfortable pause.] Yyyyyyeah. I...did. Did you happen to notice the music that was playing during that slide show?
Bea: No, I didn't. There was music? You know I always have my computer on mute. I hate all those little clicks and whirs and crap.
Mame: Yeah, that's what I thought. You...need to go watch it with the sound turned on.
Bea: ...
Mame: Call me after you do. [hangs up.]

So I do. And the song? Monica's "Angel of Mine." Yeah. Not a bad song or anything. Just kind of...creepy in this particular context. Especially after I looked up the lyrics and get to the part about "the love we make." EW! EWWWWW!!!!!! I call Mame straight away.

Mame: I know, sugar. I know.
Bea: I am SO sorry! I...I...
Mame: It's fine. Pixie dust, pixie dust...

So, I'm tooling around the Internets other night, possibly looking for stuff about Jensen Ackles.* POSSIBLY. But maybe I was looking for something SMART. Something with INTELLIGENCE., shut up. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? A slideshow of pictures of the ridiculously beautiful Mr. Ackles set to..."Angel of Mine." AWESOME! I IM it to Mame and go on with my evening. The next day...

Mame: Dude.
Bea: I know. I KNOW.
Mame: What is WITH this song? Why?
Bea: No idea. But I'm betting that there's one of these for every heartthrob out there. We must find them all.
Mame: YES! We must collect the entire set!
Bea: I'm so finding the one with Chad Michael Murray...
Mame: Ew, you do that. I wonder how many there are of Jonathan Brandis...
Bea: Oh, MAN. Talk about a can of worms right THERE.

The nextest day...Mame sends me one of our dearly departed, much-lamented Jonathan Brandis set to...a Selena song. I don't know which one. The one that got radio play, I guess. Because I recognized it. The one with the endearments in Spanish in the middle. Something about mi corazon. Hee. OH, IT'S ON. IT IS SO ON.

*Just to clarify...we aren't looking for dirty pictures or videos. Fine if that's what you're into, just not our thing. Not after the "Leonardo DiCaprio Debacle" so many years ago. [SHUDDER.] I can NEVER be sorry enough about that. NEVER.

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