Brief, Flammable Dispatch From Vacation

So, I'm currently on vacation with some of my family in North Carolina. It's going great, we're all having fun and getting along (Not that I really expected an issue there, though we miss you, uncle V!). I finally saw The Big Lebowski. It was pretty great. And I've pretty much gotten my entire family to watch True Blood. SCORE.

One of the things that we traditionally do on vacation is take turns cooking dinner each night and making a themed cocktail for each meal. It saves money because there are too many of us to reasonably eat in a restaurant and many members of my family enjoy cooking. We all get into it and have fun with it. My cousin Brianna and I were on dinner duty on Wednesday night. We were making this recipe with some alterations (We added chicken and omitted pine nuts. And doubled the recipe. And forgot the parsley.). Bri and I are not really cooks (Clearly!), we're both more bakers, but we were game to try. So, it all went well at first; Bri cooked the chicken, I made a giant salad. Then I put a huge pot of water on the boil for the orzo and sat down to read my book and wait. Then the following happens:

Bri: [in a bored tone] Fire. On the stove. Fire.

I look up, sure there can't be an actual fire because wouldn't that call for like, a sense of urgency? Or alarm? But sure enough, there are FLAMES coming up from under the pot. I RUN over and turn off the burner. Doesn't help. My mom comes sauntering in calmly, because she heard Bri and doesn't think there's a fire either. I'm all, "!!!" and my mom's all, "PUT A POT LID ON THE FIRE!" and I do and it works and everything's fine. Also, Bri's in the background calmly telling us, "I don't know how to work a fire extinguisher. Sorry."

So, that's how Bri and I burned water.

The Last Supper

Ok, first off, I got an iPhone and it's orgasmic, I'm not kidding. I named him Lafeyette Fortenbrau III (I have a weird obsession with naming all my electronic devices, my old iPod was named Peter Isensee).
Secondly, I am currently blogging at while at a diner with Bea and the fact that I can do that is amazing. Sadly, this is our last diner supper of this trip.
Having said all that, here's Bea:

We have had a great time! I am actually plotting ways to keep her here. Sadly, I am not an evil genius. Anyone have any ideas? Though she dragged me kicking and screaming into "Bones." I hate her for that.

ps - she loved "Bones"


-- Post From My iPhone

Marry, Cliff, Shag -- The "Star Trek" Edition

Ok, you guys, I just saw Star Trek for the second time. Whatever, I'm a geek, this isn't exactly news. But goddamn is everyone hot in that movie! So, let's play another rousing edition of Marry, Cliff, Shag. All of these choices are, of course, the incarnations from the new movie. (If there's interest, we can, of course, do a round from the original series. Or The Next Generation. Seriously, this game. It just keeps on giving!) Aaaaaand...GO!

Round One: James T. Kirk, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, Hikaru Sulu

Round Two: Spock, Leonard "Bones" McCoy, George Kirk (Jim's hot, self-sacrificing dad)

Round Three (For the straight gentlemen and any secret lesbian readers we may have. Also, welcome!): Uhura, her green roomate Gaila, James T. Kirk* (Whatever, everyone should get a shot at Kirk!)

*Clearly, not enough women in Star Trek. If you can't even have a respectable straight guy/lesbian round of Marry, Cliff, Shag, more female characters are needed. Get on that, JJ. You can do better.

What is WRONG with me?!

Today I gave my coworker Corey a tutorial of which Jonas brother is which and how old they are. While holding up the copy of Seventeen* magazine that features them on the cover.

I...WHY DO I KNOW THIS? WHYYYYYYY?!?!? I feel like I can somehow blame Perez Hilton for this.

I feel sure of it.

*We get it at the office. I don't have a subscription, I swear. Seventeen used to be a great magazine for teenage girls. You know, back when I was a teenager. I remember they used to have great articles about things like abortion rights, sexual harassment and drugs. They used to have that great "Sex and Your Body" column. Yeah, not so much anymore. It's all Jonas brothers and makeup tips. And New and Different Ways to Hate Your Body. Sorry, current teenage girls. Sucks to be you.

Dude.

Mame and I are on the phone, watching Conan O'Brien and giggling together. You know. As you do. And Stephen Moyer from our very favoritest show ever True Blood is on. (Bill! He plays Bill!)

He's BRITISH in real life, people. Which we knew. But we'd never heard him speak. It's...disconcerting, to say the least. Also, hot. And he's ridiculously charming. And then he started morphing back and forth into different kinds of British accents and then to his southern Bill voice. Weird!

EGT! It was like that time that we discovered that Chuck Bass was really British In Real Life and I dug up that Youtube clip of him just being English at everyone. And we were like o_O.

Who else is Secretly British In Real Life? Because it just makes them more attractive.