tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82178627077710983082024-03-13T01:21:49.752-05:002 Jersey GirlsWitty, insightful, and full of random allusions to their varied interests, "Two Jersey Girls" is an award-winning blog about everything and nothing.
Two thirty-something women write about what's in the news, movies, television, and their lives. An entertaining read, updated regularly, and quoted often.Auntie Mamehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12242844375515766875noreply@blogger.comBlogger307125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-64228594015645907662014-03-24T21:43:00.003-05:002014-03-24T21:43:58.520-05:00SUDDENLY...A HAND COMES OUT OF THE GRAVE OF YOUR DEAD AND DEFILED FAKE SISTER.Ha ha ha, so, um, HI. We haven't blogged in AWHILE. We've been, um, busy. I got married and then got pregnant and then had a miscarriage. Mame got divorced and has a new beau. But we're fine! We just started doing other things and let our blog sadly fade.<br />
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BUT THEN, THEY STARTED MAKING A BUNCH OF V.C. ANDREWS MOVIES. FUCK YEAH CAPSLOCK!!!<br />
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Texts between Mame and myself today:<br />
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Me: THEY'RE MAKING A <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/kateaurthur/vc-andrews-lifetime-if-there-be-thorns-my-sweet-audrina"><i>MY SWEET AUDRINA</i></a> MOVIE!!!<br />
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Mame: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! BECAUSE IF YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME, IT'S NOT FUNNY.<br />
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Me: No. Totally serious. And <i>If There Be Thorns </i>and <i>Seeds of Yesterday</i>.<br />
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Me: I...think we need to revive the blog.<br />
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Mame: I think you're damn right.<br />
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Me: This is one of the best days of my life.<br />
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Mame: Life is good, old friend. Damn good.<br />
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Me: We live in exciting times. <br />
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Sooo...we're going to try to be back! Honestly, a lot of my blogging energy goes into other forms of social media like Tumblr and Twitter, but I do miss this blog. And it's like the universe is BEGGING us to start writing about incest and ballet and revenge again! See you soon, maybe?Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-76626123402336218532012-01-06T21:46:00.003-05:002012-01-06T21:49:21.302-05:00Back to NormalMy 6 year-old is freaking obsessed with Jimmy Fallon's ap for my iPhone. Basically it's an alarm clock that wakes you up with a 'phone call' from Jimmy. You choose what silly message he'll say and what ringtone he'll use to call you. Little Man just likes to play the various choices while we drive places and cackle. He's also now asked that I only use Jimmy's voice to wake him up in the morning.<br />His favorite? Jimmy Fallon yelling, "IT'S TIME TO CHURN THE BUTTERMILK!!!" Yeah, he's definitely <strong>my</strong> kid.Auntie Mamehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12242844375515766875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-35323124138370556052011-12-14T17:40:00.004-05:002012-01-05T18:58:44.305-05:00The Rare Serious Post<div><div><div><div><div><em>"One owes respect to the living. To the dead, one owes only the truth." -Voltaire</em></div><div> </div><div>This is all true. </div><div> </div><div>Several weeks ago, on a Tuesday, my father died. Before you get all sympathetic and kind and start making with the internet hugs, I was estranged from my father, who was an abusive alcoholic. I hadn't seen him in 15 years (not since I was 17) and hadn't spoken to him in more than 8 years. </div><div> </div><div>See how I do that? I don't want your sympathy and kindness because I don't feel like I deserve it. I had to stop myself when dealing with the doctors at the hospital from telling them not to waste their time and bedside manner on me, I'm FINE. Just make with the end-of-life options and skip the hand-holding, ok? I'm not a daughter, grieving the loss of her father. I'm angry and beleagured and bitter, going through the motions and trying to make things as simple and straightforward as possible.</div><div> </div><div>None of this is simple and straightforward though, is it? I'm both the grieving child AND the put-upon distant relative, aren't I? Maybe one more than the other. But the ratio of one to the other is constantly changing. Sometimes from minute to minute.</div><div> </div><div>When nosy people would ask why I didn't see my father (And note to nosy people: unless you are very, very close to someone? This is none of your fucking business. It will probably become clear from the context at some point if you hang out with them long enough. And if you bug the person enough times, they'll probably stop hanging out with you at all because you're an asshole. And I know normal people reading this are like, "What are you talking about? Who would do that?" People do. Trust me), I would usually say, "Because he sucks" and change the subject. But that wasn't always the case. </div><div> </div><div>When my brother and I were little, my father was an ok dad. At least, he seemed ok to his kids, who I don't think really analyze that kind of thing. He would play with us, read to us, make up stupid songs about poop to the tune of Christmas carols, build forts in the living room with cardboard boxes and blankets, let us eat candy bars for dinner when my mom wasn't home, let us sit in his lap and "help" him drive, and would play a much-loved game where he would swerve the car around all crazy called "Drunk Driver." </div><div> </div><div>Oops. That's getting into the not-so-great stuff. But you know what? The bad stuff is easier to remember. It's the good stuff he did that I can't bear to think about. The fond memories, like when I was very little and we were walking around somewhere and I would hold his thumb because his hands were too big for me to comfortably hold them, that chew at me and make me incredibly angry. Because my father could never overcome his demons, stop drinking, stop abusing the people in his life, act like a productive human being. He might have tried, but it didn't seem like. </div><div> </div><div>My father was not a man, apparently, who believed in sparing his children anything. In a lot of ways, his death was no different. It was messy and inconvenient and painful. My last duty as his daughter was to handle the disposal of his body, the donation of his organs, filling in the information on his death certificate. I wouldn't have necessarily called it ahead of time, but all of these final duties were incredibly painful. The kind of thing that while you're doing them, you're thinking, "Man. <em>That's</em> gonna leave a mark." </div><div> </div><div>I hope he's at peace, finally. I really do. His life was not peaceful, both of his own doing and from circumstances outside of his control, much of it things that I will never know. </div><div> </div><div>Almost a month has passed since all this happened. I wrote a lot of this blog entry the week he died, while this stuff was still fresh in my mind. As with anyone's life, a lot has happened since then. My anger and pain are starting to move into the background. My grief mostly consists of regret and wistfulness for things that, barring a time machine, will never be. My father's ashes are sitting in a green box in the laundry room until we decide what to do with them. (I don't think anyone would mistake them for Tide, so don't worry about that. We use high efficiency liquid detergents anyway.) He always liked <a href="http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ample_make_this_Bed_%E2%80%94">this poem</a>, so I guess that's as good an epitaph as any. I never cared for Emily Dickinson's poetry much, but hey. That seems appropriate too. </div></div></div></div></div>Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-22336617860109353912011-11-07T18:18:00.006-05:002011-11-07T19:23:35.589-05:00What Is Bea Watching This Television Season?...Because I know you were all wondering. It's the question on everyone's (no one's) minds! Believe it or not, I don't feel like I watch a lot of television. I despise having shows meted out to me on a weekly basis and then pulled for months at a time. IT ANNOYS ME A LOT. I really prefer to mainline a show on DVD, but then I miss out on discussing it with with everyone else and reading reviews and articles, etc.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Returning Shows </span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">The Walking Dead</span>. Dude. Zombies. Come on. I agree with everyone else who says that season one had an pretty awesome pilot and then the rest...kinda...sucked? It was very uneven. There were parts that were cool (the zombie attack on the camp, the showdown at the CDC) and parts that sucked (Um. The rest), but I was still curious enough to pop in for season two. It's better that the first season. I know that seems like faint praise, but it really is better. Some of the existing problems from season one are still around, like the pacing issues (Either kill Sophia off or fucking find her. LIKE, YESTERDAY), they still don't really know how to handle the Lori/Shane/Rick triangle (Lori and Shane need to come clean - they aren't really at fault, they truly thought Rick was dead and who could blame them - and then they have a threeway relationship. Shit. It's the zombie apocalypse. Have a threeway. Who cares?), and I still don't feel like they've really found their own internal logic and rules for their particular zombie apocalypse. They sure don't treat it like a biological contagion, what with everyone unconcernedly getting zombie goo on them all the time, but it's clearly communicable through bites, so what the fuck? SO. ANYWAY. <span style="font-style: italic;">The Walking Dead</span>: better than last season, for real. The Shane twist was pretty great and I'm hoping it gets that character (who has potential and I like the actor) out of that rut (PUN SO INTENDED) that he's been in. The show needs to figure out some cool shit to do with Glenn, and either do something with Andrea or kill her off. While she's got a point re: Dale's paternalism, her incessant whinging about it drives me crazy. (The show, in general, kind of doesn't know what do with women. Are there any women on that writing staff? If not, fucking hire some.) Of course, I also watch <span style="font-style: italic;">The Talking Dead</span>, because I love Chris Hardwick.<br /></li><li> <span style="font-style: italic;">Criminal Minds</span>. I slacked off last season because the firing of 66.6666667% of the female cast members REALLY pissed me off. And apparently it pissed everyone else off because, OH LOOK! They brought Emily and JJ back because the most important thing about this show is the chemistry of the cast! Imagine that! So, I'm back. Spencer Reid is still pretty.</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Sons of Anarchy</span>. Oh God, I hated the Ireland story last season SO MUCH. I, um, didn't watch the last three or so episodes because it was so painfully annoying. It's better this season. (Sensing a theme? Heh.) </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Community</span>. I'm not a regular watcher. I pop in from time to time, mostly to see if Joel McHale will take his shirt off or if a piano will fall on Chevy Chase. ...What? </li></ul><span style="font-weight: bold;">New (To Me) Shows</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Parks & Recreation</span>. Oh, this is such a gem of a show, you guys. I love it! It's so...good-natured. Every time I wait for it to get awkward and cringe-inducing (like <span style="font-style: italic;">The Office</span>), it almost never does! I love all the characters SO much. Leslie Knope! Is there another character like her on television? AND I LOVE RON SWANSON. RON. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oWsdW3Rebw">I AM DARK-HAIRED AND NOT-ENTIRELY-UNATTRACTIVE AND CAN PREPARE YOU BREAKFAST FOODS!!!</a> MARRY ME.</li></ul><span style="font-weight: bold;">New Shows</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Homeland</span>. This is a really, really great show. Damian Lewis and Claire Danes are AMAZING in their roles and the supporting cast is awesome too. I like how unflinching and harsh it is. I love that I'm never entirely sure what's going on, who I can believe, if I can ever accept what I see in flashbacks. So. Great.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">American Horror Story</span>. It's...just..so...INCREDIBLY BATSHIT B-A-N-A-N-A-S INDULGENTLY CRAZY. And I love that about it. I know a lot of people were put off by the pilot (and I don't entirely blame them) but I was strangely flattered by how over-the-top it was. "Aw, show! You really want me to like you! It's like a first date and you've brought flowers AND candy AND perfume! Aww. You've thrown dead babies, adultery, bare asses, a guy in a shiny gimp suit, Dead!Fake!Weasley twins, and Jessica Lange acting like she's a lost Tennessee Williams heroine. You get another episode!" I love Lange, Connie Britton, Taissa Farmiga and the kid who plays Tate. It's not...<span style="font-style: italic;">good</span>, but BOY, is it <span style="font-style: italic;">entertaining</span>. Do I think it's going to crash and burn? Probably. But it sure is fun while it lasts.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Revenge</span>. I do really like <span style="font-style: italic;">Revenge</span> but it's up against about a million other things. I usually catch up with it on Hulu. It's everything that <span style="font-style: italic;">Ringer</span> SHOULD be, but isn't: super-fun and soapy and trashy.<br /></li></ul><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shows That I Have Broken Up With</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Glee</span>. I would probably keep watching <span style="font-style: italic;">Glee</span> if they ONLY sang and danced. I realized that I found every character (Except for Kurt and Blaine) hugely annoying anytime they actually spoke. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Supernatural</span>. This was awhile ago, but ugh. I just got sick of its bullshit.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">True Blood</span>. The show that I want it to be is not the show that it is. And the show that it is isn't one I'm really very interested in watching. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Dexter</span>. I still really like this show, I just got too far behind (I missed all of last season). Maybe I'll catch up on DVD.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Ringer.</span> I only lasted two episodes. Sorry, Sarah Michelle Gellar. I love you, but I kind of hated this show.<br /></li></ul><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shows I Intend To Keep Watching</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">The Wire</span>. SOMEDAY, YOU GUYS. I have to get through seasons four and five. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span>. I tried to jump into season four, not having watched season three. And. Um. No. Not possible. I'm DVRing season four to watch after I grab the last season on DVD. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Sherlock</span>. WHEN WILL I GET MORE? I neeeed it, you guys.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Game of Thrones</span>. Though the second season should be called <span style="font-style: italic;">A Clash of Kings</span>. /pedant</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Bad</span>. I'm hoping to use the year's hiatus before the final season to catch up on the whole thing.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Mad Men</span>. Whenever it comes back.<br /></li></ul>What are you watching this season? What are you NOT watching?Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-48945400921944569672011-09-24T23:57:00.004-05:002011-09-25T00:19:46.579-05:00The Annotated Sausage and Rice Soup RecipeI like food. I like to eat food. And sometimes, I like to make food. I <span style="font-style: italic;">can</span> cook. I'm not a super-awesome cook (my mom is, though). I'm more of a baker than a cook, but cooking is more useful than baking. I mean, you CAN eat peanut butter cookies for dinner, but you SHOULDN'T. I'm always confused by people who say they can't cook. I'm one of those people who's like, "Um. Can you read? Because if you can read a recipe, you can follow it." Chances are, you'll turn out something eat-able.<br /><br />I like soup. Especially in the fall and winter. You probably do, too. So, read this recipe that I mostly made up! I don't measure things, really, so don't expect me to tell you to add 1 cup or 1 tablespoon of something. It won't matter so if you like a lot of something, add more. If you don't like it, add less or not at all.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ingredients:</span><br />1 quart of chicken stock<br />1 can diced tomatoes<br />1 can tomato sauce (not spaghetti sauce)<br />1 can white (cannelini) beans<br /><br />Carrots<br />Celery<br />Onion<br />Minced garlic (I'm lazy and buy a jar of minced garlic. If you're a better person than me, mince some up fresh!)<br /><br />Rice (I use those boil-in-a-bag-things. I find rice...challenging.)<br /><br />4 (or however much) patties (or actual sausages, cut the casing and squeeze out the sausage. This is actually really fun!) of Italian sausage (I used sweet but it's entirely up to you. If you live on the wild side, use hot!)<br /><br />All seasonings are subject to change. Add whatever sounds good.<br />Oregano<br />Seasoned salt<br />Black pepper<br />Bay leaf<br />Crushed red pepper<br />Fresh herbs would be really good. If you have some fresh basil or oregano, chop some up! Just not cilantro. I fucking hate cilantro.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Directions:</span><br />Brown sausage, breaking into teeny pieces<br /><br />Chop vegetables, put a little water on them and toss in microwave for a few minutes to soften them up (this isn't required. It just makes it cook faster). Coat bottom of large pot with olive oil, add vegetables and some minced garlic. Cook until onions start to look translucent. Add stock, tomato sauce and a can or two of water. Rinse white beans and add. Add sausage. Add seasonings. (I don't measure, so add until it looks right.) Bring to a boil and then simmer for 45 minutes or so. Cook rice according to package instructions. Drain and add rice to soup. Simmer for awhile longer. Remove bay leaf.<br /><br />Eat with grated cheese and bread.<br /><br />If storing, cool for no more than two hours and then refrigerate or freeze.<br /><br /><ul><li>The soup will be fairly zippy and spicy. The spiciness will mellow by the next day. </li><li>I cook the sausage and rice separately for the following reasons: 1. I'm too much of a food safety ninny to add raw meat to soup 2. Cooking the rice in the soup would sop up all the broth and make it taste all starchy.<br /></li><li>This is a really good base for soups. You could add tortellinis and a handful of baby spinach for tortellini soup. You could add different vegetables for minestrone, or pasta for pasta fagioli.<br /></li><li>If you're a vegetarian, you could certainly use vegetable broth and soy sausage (they have that, right?). Whatever. I'm not the boss of you. </li><li>I always, always,<span style="font-style: italic;"> always</span> forget to remove the bay leaf. I should start handing out a prize for whoever gets the bay leaf in their bowl of soup.<br /></li></ul>Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-29591870117042917672011-09-24T23:56:00.001-05:002011-09-24T23:56:52.961-05:00Yeah, About That......Um. So, I didn't die in the hurricane. :DBeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-19273133839073838972011-08-27T15:58:00.003-05:002011-08-27T16:14:57.425-05:00Like Somefin' Is Brewin'...About to Begiiiin: Hurricane Irene PreparationSooooo...I live in NJ. RIGHT IN THE PATH OF THE DEADLY HURRICANE IRENE.
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<br />I kid because I can, but I'm kind of scared. I will be more than happy to feel silly on Monday morning. Look. I'm a Nervous Nellie, you guys. Though, I am sick of being told my weather-type folks to "hunker down." Yeah. We get it. I will not be floating through the streets on a surf board. I will not be standing in my front yard, trying to fly a kite. I won't be going door-to-door, ringing doorbells and yelling, "LAND SHARK!!!"* I will be sitting in my living room, enjoying the electricity, air conditioning, running water, cable, and internet for as long as I have it. I've got packing to do, since I'm moving in a week. I've got knitting to work on. I've got books to read (<span style="font-style: italic;">Room</span> by Emma Donoghue and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Magicians</span> by Lev Grossman). Board games. Weather Channel personalities to mock.
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<br />I'm a busy lady, ok?
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<br />We've got a radio, flashlights, non-perishable foods, bottled water, a full tank of gas, and a bag packed in case we need to FLEE. I had to battle a <span style="font-style: italic;">Lord of the Flies</span>-esque situation at the gas station last night in order to get that tank of gas. I fought the Beast, I blew on the conch shell (NOT a euphemism. Well. Not the one YOU'RE thinking of, dirty bird), and drove away victorious.
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<br />Aaaand now the cable is flickering. Stay safe, everyone. Not today, you guys. NOT TODAY. /drama
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<br />*Though this sounds HILARIOUS.
<br />Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-32649616429285550152011-08-15T20:55:00.000-05:002011-08-15T23:01:31.544-05:00Family Visit<span style="font-style: italic;">Ok, so this is an old entry that I have had sitting in Drafts forever. I went to visit family recently and I haven't blogged in FOREVER and want to get back into it, so it's sort of appropriate? I guess? But I kind of like it anyway.</span>
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<br />Your grandmother will announce that during your and your Mom's upcoming visit, she's arranging a "Girls' Dinner," consisting of relatives you haven't seen in years. You will be very excited. Until you find out that the dinner is taking place at Ponderosa. You consider calling Ponderosa and asking if they will allow BYOB. Eventually, you decide this is probably not a good idea.
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<br />You and Mom will make the long drive to the Bible-Beltish Town. The cd player in Mom's car does not accept your Super-Special Mix CDs. And this makes you sad. Mom rolls her eyes. But she does let you drive her car and this hasn't happened oh, since EVER.
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<br />You: What ever happened to your rule about no one who you gave birth to being allowed to drive your car?
<br />Mom: I'm tired of driving, that's what.
<br />You: Oh. Hey, your car goes way faster than my car!
<br />Mom: Duh.
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<br />You will pass a scary little church along that way whose bulletin board informs you, "HELL IS NOT A PARTY. ITS [sic] TORTURE THAT NEVER ENDS." You and Mom will gape at it and then FALL OUT laughing. Also, you'll tell everyone you know because, hey, maybe they think that Hell is a good time and knowing is half the battle, all that. Also, you and your entire family will bellow that phrase whenever remotely appropriate.
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<br />When you and Mom arrive at the dinner, you will narrowly avoid a bare-knuckle brawl with a TOTAL BITCH in the Ponderosa parking lot.
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<br />You: Maybe our Jersey attitudes are a little out-of-place here?
<br />Mom: Whatever. You should totally go kick her in the ass.
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<br />Your Gram has gotten a "private room" at the Ponderosa. You wonder if this means you'll all be snorting coke off of stripper's asses AND eating steak, but you decide to leave that one unvoiced. Your Aunt Tia, cousin Brianna and Great-Aunt May are all there, along with several other cousins. Everyone hugs and sits down to catch up.
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<br />MUCH LATER...other cousins arrive. You lean over and whisper to your grandmother, "Yeah, so timeliness doesn't so much run in our family, huh?" She swats at you, but gives you a conspiratorial smile. A cousin walks in who you are completely certain that you've never met before, but you recognize her immediately as family. She looks at your Mom and exclaims, "We all look like our mothers!" You really, really concur.
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<br />Drinks (sadly, nonalcoholic ones) arrive and everyone starts talking at once. Topics of conversation include: four-hour erections, things found up people's butts, weddings, babies, who's in college, and cooking. We pass around pictures and scrapbooks. A cousin informs the assembled party that she has a photograph of a two-year old you climbing a chair in a dress and no diaper. You flatly deny that such a picture exists and will continue to do so, thank you very much. We tell and retell old family stories. Brianna pulls you aside and hisses, "Ok, I don't know half the people in there. Who ARE they?" You crack up.
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<br />You eat. You sneer at each other's food choices. Cousins bond over seafood allergies. You look at your cousin's wedding pictures and coo over her upcoming baby. It is a really, really good time.
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<br />You are not a person who puts a whole lot of stock in blood. You love your family because you love them, not because you have to. You have friends that you love like family. There are family members that you haven't spoken to in years and probably never will again. But, you are lucky enough to have family that you actually like. However. There is something to be said for a room full of people that can totally donate a kidney or bone marrow or something. Heh.
<br />Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-63495770266717943002011-04-17T18:59:00.002-05:002011-04-17T19:02:30.998-05:00Countdown to (Potential!) AWESOMENESS!Putting aside my prickliness and various complaints about jerks on the internets: <a href="http://winter-is-coming.net/">LESS THAN ONE HOUR</a> UNTIL <span style="font-style: italic;">GAME OF THRONES</span>!!!!!<br /><br />Sorsha and my Gentleman Caller are coming over to flail with me! Well. More likely, Sorsha and I will flail with glee while GC and my mom roll their eyes.<br /><br />It's gonna be GREAT.<br /><br />Do you have <span style="font-style: italic;">Game of Thrones</span> plans?Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-60370389342915283282011-04-13T22:26:00.009-05:002011-04-14T22:05:47.440-05:00An Open Letter To Certain Male GeeksGreetings, geeks! My name is Bea. I'm (as of last week-ish) 32 years old. I'm a college graduate. I work in social services. I bake. I knit. I read (a lot). I vote Democrat. I occasionally sparkle. I enjoy the works of Jane Austen, thunderstorms, the Oxford comma, and the laughter of children.<br /><br />Oh, I'm also a geek. I've been a geek since I was a tiny little girl and I had a <span style="font-style: italic;">Dune</span> coloring book. <a href="http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/dune_coloring_activity_book/">This</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">Dune</span> coloring book, actually. I also had a glow-in-the-dark <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He-Man">He-Man</a> sword when I was itty-bitty that I had to take in the bathroom to watch glow because I was never awake when it was dark outside. Because I was<span style="font-style: italic;"> four</span>. Later, I was a huge <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-Ra">She-Ra</a> fan and literally subscribed to her newsletter. I loved<span style="font-style: italic;"> Star Wars, Blade Runner, The Terminator, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk</span>, The <span style="font-style: italic;">V</span> miniseries (both of them!), <span style="font-style: italic;">Legend, The Dark Crystal, The NeverEnding Story, Dune</span> (the Lynch version, NEVER the Sci-Fi version, though that was much later),<span style="font-style: italic;"> Labyrinth</span>, and<span style="font-style: italic;"> Conan the Barbarian</span>. The 80s were<span style="font-style: italic;"> fun</span>, weren't they?<br /><br />I was a gamer girl in the late 80s and early 90s. Look. You think it's tough being a gamer girl <span style="font-style: italic;">now</span>? (It is, I'm sure.) Try it then. I was LITERALLY the only girl I knew who played video games. Ever. I don't play anymore but I can still fuck you up at <span style="font-style: italic;">Super Mario Bros. 1-3</span>. My parents took me and my brother to a Nintendo Convention in Valley Forge, PA as a birthday gift. I'm guessing it was 1990 or 1991. Whatever year <span style="font-style: italic;">Super Mario Bros. 3</span> came out. I remember because I smoked some dude at a demo of the game. He clearly wasn't expecting that from a little girl. It was AWESOME.<br /><br />I've watched <span style="font-style: italic;">The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, Space: Above and Beyond, VR-5, Harsh Realm, Dead at 21, Love and Curses, Forever Knight, Beauty and the Beast, Dark Shadows</span> (the old 60s soap AND the early 90s remake), <span style="font-style: italic;">Mystery Science Theater 3000, Twin Peaks, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Farscape, The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Heroes, Roar, Dark Angel, Supernatural, Fringe, Roswell, Alias, Earth 2, Dark Skies, Millennium, Kindred: The Embraced,</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">SeaQuest DSV</span>.<br /><br />I've read Heinlein and Herbert. I've read all the <span style="font-style: italic;">Lord of the Rings</span> books. I own the extended editions of all the movies AND the Trivial Pursuit game.<br /><br />Sorsha and I have a zombie apocalypse plan and seriously. It's awesome. It's getting better by the day.<br /><br />I read comic books. I go to cons. Got my picture taken with <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0077720/">Michael Berryman</a>. I saw <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span> in the theater four times. I have the<span style="font-style: italic;"> Iron Man</span> Mr. Potato Head, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Playskool-Mr-Potato-Head-Iron/dp/B002VUC9XS">Tony Starch</a> sitting on top of my television. I have a Matchbox-sized replica of the <a href="http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Metallicar">Metallicar</a> on my desk. My mousepad features a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm722769920/nm0001557">kingly Aragorn</a>. I'm currently knitting a <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.halloweencostumes.com/hogwarts-knit-scarf-1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.halloweencostumes.com/hogwarts-scarf.html&usg=__A2JyEr9Tx6Vbj6PFsvcyMtl65Uo=&h=339&w=350&sz=49&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=ip1NbonMjlzBYM:&tbnh=121&tbnw=125&ei=hHamTe3FKaGM0QG97vnpCA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgryffindor%2Bscarf%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D568%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=259&vpy=224&dur=2248&hovh=221&hovw=228&tx=152&ty=118&oei=hHamTe3FKaGM0QG97vnpCA&page=1&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0">Gryffindor scarf</a>.<br /><br />As you can see from the above exhaustive list, I will watch/read/consume ANYTHING sci-fi/horror/fantasy-related. Regardless of quality as you can <span style="font-style: italic;">also</span> see from the above list. Heh. I can authoritatively nerd out on a variety of subjects. And I do. Often. And I do all of these things despite the INCREDIBLE HANDICAP OF A PAIR OF BREASTS. SHOCKING, RIGHT?!<br /><br />But seriously, you guys. (And not ALL geek guys, of course.) Can you please stop acting like you own the field of geekery all on your own? Aren't we past this? Seriously? Are we really still OMG STUNNED when a woman enjoys nerdy pursuits? I don't do these things because my boyfriend reads comics and I want him to like me.<br /><br />For example, I listen to <a href="http://www.nerdist.com/">The Nerdist</a> podcast every week. Twice a week if it's on twice. I love it. It's awesome. It's my favorite podcast. I love Chris Hardwick. He's hilarious. But Chris. Dude. I AM NOT THE ONLY WOMAN WHO LISTENS TO YOUR SHOW. THERE ARE FEMALE GEEKS. IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, YOU'RE DATING ONE. So why do you keep making comments about how no women listen to your show or how your nerdiness is losing you female viewers. Um. We do and it's not. KNOCK IT OFF. My ovaries do not "dry up" when James Gunn and Jonah Ray get into a nerd fight over whether or not <span style="font-style: italic;">28 Days Later</span> qualifies as a zombie film. That was AWESOME. (My opinion: it does count as a zombie movie.)<br /><br />I was listening today to a review of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Game of Thrones</span> miniseries. (<a href="http://winter-is-coming.net/">3 days</a>, you guys!!!!) And the reviewer made a comment about it possibly being a turn-off for women because it's all male-dominated, bloody and full of ultra-violence. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Because Dany and Arya and Catelyn and Sansa are just standing around, looking pretty. (Well, ok, Sansa is.) Because women can't stand watching male characters. (If we felt that way, we wouldn't watch anything, ever.) Because women don't like to watch dudes with swords fuck shit up. Especially because women don't enjoy a complex, well-told story. Mmm-<span style="font-style: italic;">hmmm</span>.<br /><br />Oh for Christ's sake, Terrance Zdunich: <a href="http://www.terrancezdunich.com/blog/?p=5924">YES</a>. GIRLS DO READ COMIC BOOKS. I even bought your creepy comic book about cockroaches.<br /><br />I guess I'm mostly just tired of being told I don't exist.<br /><br />ETA: <a href="http://www.hbowatch.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=496">This</a>. Thanks, Sorsha. WHATEVER.Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-73993599738440900922011-03-03T19:52:00.003-05:002011-03-03T20:26:48.828-05:00YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!So, I'm sitting at my desk this morning, sipping my coffee, listening to NPR, and organizing the day's events and I get a text from my most amiable geeky companion Sorsha: <span style="font-weight: bold;">"JULY 12TH RELEASE FOR A DANCE WITH DRAGONS!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" </span>And then there were more texts and later, when I got home, tweets from Dan Mac and others and the entire internet was like, wall-to-wall GEORGE R. R. MARTIN. It was AWESOME. <br /><br />I'm so excited! I did <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khMpnsPPFeg">this</a> and then <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUQX2B67KL4">this</a> and then <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm52Sbhmb58">this</a> is what my office looked like all day today. (Instead of <span style="font-style: italic;">Doctor Who</span> geeks, picture me doing a happy dance and a lot of confused social service workers. Good times.) And I know, I don't deserve to be excited. I only just read <span style="font-style: italic;">A Game of Thrones</span> and am only halfway through <span style="font-style: italic;">A Clash of Kings</span>. I haven't SUFFERED like the rest of you. I am aware of my privilege, ok? But my wait for the last two books will be just as long as yours now. WE WILL PINE TOGETHER. <br /><br />OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. I just went looking for the new trailer for the miniseries that went live during the Academy Awards and found a <a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/03/03/game-of-thrones-new-trailer/">NEW NEW TRAILER</a>! Holy shit, you guys! It's like today is GEEK CHRISTMAS. The Wall! A glimpse of the Others! MORE JAIME. Um. Soooo...Robb? Kind of hot, yeah?<br /><br />I can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!!!Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-67914575181596479262011-02-16T20:00:00.000-05:002011-02-16T23:00:31.423-05:00Television Review: "Fringe," Season OneI've been sick all week. Missed three days of work because my doctor put me out due to "an upper respiratory infection and possible strep." WebMD said that I may have anthrax. AWESOME, RIGHT? Anyway, I felt like doody and had a lot of time on my hands.<br /><br />Luckily, my boss Snowflower had just lent me her season one DVD of <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span>. I'd tried watching <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span> when the pilot originally aired and I didn't care for it and I haaaated the second episode so much that I gave up and never watched it again. (The second episode featured icky violence against women and notably, one of the few things I full-stop cannot watch: violence against a pregnant woman. Out like shout.) Also, I kept thinking, "You know, I saw this show the FIRST time, when they called it <span style="font-style: italic;">The X-Files</span>" and that show broke my heart. In short, <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span> just didn't "take." But I am notoriously finicky about television shows. Catch me in the wrong mood and try to show me <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Wire</span> and I might tell it to piss off. Catch me in the RIGHT mood and I'll love the show and probably yell at you for not telling me about it sooner.<br /><br />It's very difficult being me, ok?<br /><br />ANYWAY. All my favorite geeks watch this show and I don't really HAVE a favorite show right now. At least, not until <span style="font-style: italic;">A Game of Thrones</span> airs. THEN IT'S ON, BABIES.<br /><br />**Possible spoilers through the beginning of season 2 of <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span>**<br /><br />So, for three days, I sat/laid in bed watching the entire first season, only getting up to make more tea and change DVDs. (Makers of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span> DVD sets: put more episodes per disc. Two episodes per disc is BULLSHIT.) I still didn't like the pilot all that much and I liberally fast-forwarded through the bits of episode two I didn't like. I'm perusing through the <a href="http://www.tv.com/fringe/show/75146/episode.html?tag=list_header;paginator;1&season=1">episode guide</a> trying to see the episode that really GOT me. Because I liked it enough to keep watching (Though, really, I had nothing better to do) but wasn't really WILD about. I liked the characters, particularly Walter and Astrid but, you know. Whatever. And it was episodes ten and eleven, "<a href="http://www.tv.com/fringe/safe/episode/1238443/summary.html?tag=ep_guide;summary">Safe</a>" and "<a href="http://www.tv.com/fringe/bound/episode/1245590/summary.html?tag=ep_guide;summary">Bound</a>." The one where the guy gets stuck through a wall while trying to rob a bank and the one where Olivia is kidnapped by mad scientists and IS TOTALLY AWESOME AND KICKS FUCKING ASS. Ahem. Excuse me.<br /><br />So, yeah. That took awhile. But the second half of the season is WAY better than the first. Once they get started on their whole mytharc and the characters really take shape, it ROCKS. And all the actors are great. John Noble (I remember him mostly as the drive-mad-by-Sauron King Denethor from <span style="font-style: italic;">The Return of the King</span>) is SO awesome as Walter, a loopy yet brilliant scientist loosed from a mental institution to help the FBI. I love Walter very, very much. Jonathan Jackson is surprisingly good as Peter Bishop, Walter's underachieving genius rascal son. I, sadly, remember him from <span style="font-style: italic;">Dawson's Creek</span>. Don't look at me like that. I was in college in the late 90s. We all watched that shit. He's much better here, I promise. And Astrid! Astrid is so great and sometimes I think she deserves better coworkers (They're always abandoning her and leaving her to Walter-sit!), but then I wouldn't have the delight of her many WTF faces. And I love those.<br /><br />Olivia Dunham, you guys. I wasn't sure about her at first, but I LOVE HER. She is so badass. Tough and smart and warm and just AWESOME. There's a storyline where this asshole from Homeland Security who Olivia had previously put away for rape is trying to shut down the Fringe Division (They did a great job casting this character. I hated his face INSTANTLY). And he's trying to be all looming and intimidating and she's just looking at him like, "Whatev." And then I said aloud, "Dude. You will NEVER break her." And then I realized I must be in love with her. Heh. Plus, she has REALLY great hair. No, really. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2466876160/nm1396022">Look</a> how pretty.<br /><br />And Lance Reddick! From <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wire</span>! LOVE that guy! Daniels was one of my favorites on that show! (And Kima and Lester!) I was dubious about Broyles at first because he's kind of a jerk, but he turns that around. He has such a great voice. He should narrate things. Also? He should take his shirt off more often. I know, I know, he's a serious actor. He's excellent. But Lance also has a smokin' hot body under those trench coats. I know this from <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wire</span>, OK. So my integrity is in place. (Sort of.) I tried to find you a picture, Dear Readers, but alas. I turned up shirtless pictures of Gerard Butler and that politician who just resigned for taking camera phone pictures of himself.<br /><br />I like Kirk Acevedo and I liked him as Charlie but I thought his character was sort of superfluous, so I wasn't surprised that he was killed off. Though the manner in which he was offed surprised me. I thought it would be a whole huge drama with him dying in Olivia's arms or something, not secretly killed and incinerated by a shape-shifter. I was sorry to see him go, but that was pretty awesome.<br /><br />And I loooooove Nina Sharp. I don't trust her at ALL, but I find her delightfully cagey and I love her robot arm. And I'm obsessed with finding The Observer in every episode. <a href="http://www.fringebloggers.com/the-observer-files/">This</a> website was helpful in enabling me. I really like Michael Cerveris; I saw him a few years ago in <a href="http://www.ibdb.com/production.php?id=400379"><span style="font-style: italic;">Sweeney Todd</span></a> and he was GREAT. I'm always weirdly proprietary with actors I've seen in plays. Heh.<br /><br />I DON'T like the storyline with Olivia's sister and niece. BORING. Also, it never works out well for the heroine's sister, ok? Just ask <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0029367/">Melissa Scully</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0017547/">Nadia Santos</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0009688/">Maddy Ferguson</a> (Ok, she was a cousin. An IDENTICAL cousin, though), and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0014031/">Beth March</a>. Just, no. I like the actress who plays Rachel, Ari Graynor. She's hilarious in general, though toned down on <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe.</span> I adore her in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0981227/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist</span></a>. (P.S. If you ever wanted to know what I was like in high school and college - and of course you do! - watch this movie. I was totally Norah. Mame pointed this out to me and made me watch it and wow.)<br /><br />The finale! OMG! Leonard Nimoy! Alternate worlds! David Robert Jones! Craziness!<br /><br />So, you know, <span style="font-style: italic;">Fringe</span>. Good stuff! Instead of being an <span style="font-style: italic;">X-Files</span> rip-off, it's more like a cross between <span style="font-style: italic;">Alias</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The X-Files</span>, with most of the good things of both and less of the bad. I've been supplied with season two and I've started DVRing season three so I can catch up.Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-55234925333280637822011-02-07T20:00:00.005-05:002011-02-08T15:52:15.469-05:00Prepping For The Oscars!My mom, brother and I have been trying to watch as many Oscar-nominated movies as possible before the ceremony. I think I've mentioned before in this space that I LOVE the Academy Awards. Yes, they're stupid and lame and the right people never win. (I'm still lookin' at YOU, Julia Roberts.) But still. We have a party every year with snacks and voting and we start with bitchy, red carpet dress mocking. I have SUCH high hopes for Helena Bonham Carter's dress. Maybe it will rival Bjork's crazy swan thing! ::fingers crossed::<br /><br />Here's the scorecard so far (List stolen from Sars at <a href="http://tomatonation.com/culture-and-criticism/oscars-2011-death-race/">Tomato Nation</a>):<br /><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">127 Hours</span> (There's no fucking way I'm going to see this movie.)</li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Alice in Wonderland</span> (It was fine. I mostly went for the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2453897472/nm0790688">Michael Sheen</a>.)</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Animal Kingdom</span> (I would LOVE to see this. I'll probably try to grab it from the Redbox this weekend.)</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Another Year</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Barney's Version</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Biutiful<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Black Swan</span> (I really loved this movie until the last 20 minutes where I feel like it went off the rails a bit. Well. A lot. Natalie Portman was really great. The scene where she calls her mother from the bathroom stall brought tears to my eyes AND a chill up my spine.)</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Blue Valentine</span> (Haven't gotten around to this one yet. I'm not sure I'll be able to before the ceremony. It's...probably not a date movie, right?)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Confession</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Country Strong</span> (Yeah, no.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Crush</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Day & Night</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Dogtooth</span> (I'm really morbidly curious about this one.) </li><li style="font-style: italic;">Exit Through the Gift Shop</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">The Fighter</span> (Meh. I hate boxing.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">Gasland</li><li style="font-style: italic;">God of Love</li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Gruffalo</li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, pt. 1</span> (Of course I saw this one. Loved it. I'm sure it won't win anything. Heh.) </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Hereafter</span> (I'm curious about this movie. I like things to with with the afterlife, etc. but it's hard to do well.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">How to Train Your Dragon</span> (I think the next time we keep my nephew overnight, we'll rent this.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">I Am Love</li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Illusionist</li><li style="font-style: italic;">In A Better World</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Incendies</li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Inception</span> (LOVED this movie. My second favorite of 2010. My Gentleman Caller and I watched it with the <a href="http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/inception">Rifftrax commentary</a> and it was HILARIOUS.) </li><li style="font-style: italic;">Inside Job</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Iron Man 2</span> </span>(Mmm...<a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2823392512/nm0000375">Downey</a>...)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Kids Are All Right</span> (I liked this movie quite a bit. The dialogue was great; it felt very natural and more like how real people talk. They really seemed like a family.)</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Killing In The Name</li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The King's Speech</span> (LovedlovedLOVED it. Much funnier than I expected. Lovely and touching and everyone in it is great.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">Let's Pollute</li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Lost Thing</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Madagascar, A Journey Diary</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Na Wewe</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Outside The Law</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Poster Girl</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Rabbit Hole</span> (I saw the play during its <a href="http://www.ibdb.com/production.php?id=398476">original Broadway run</a> and adored it. I'd like to see the movie. I'm not notably a Nicole Kidman fan, but she can be excellent when she puts her mind to it. And when her forehead moves.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Restrepo</span> (Documentaries aren't usually my thing, but I'd like to see this.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Salt</span> (...No.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Social Network</span> (I liked this fine, but wasn't as impressed with it as many seemed to be. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3361179392/nm1940449">Andrew Garfield</a> is ADORABLE. I disagreed with the last line. Mark Zuckerberg, as portrayed in this film, is a giant asshole. Don't try to tell me differently, Rashida Jones.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">Strangers No More<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Sun Come Up</span><br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Tangled</span> (I will SO see this. Someday.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">The Tempest</span> (Helen Mirren is hot.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Town</span> (It was fine. Whatever. Jeremy Renner was great. I really liked Rebecca Hall. Blake Lively was woefully miscast and WAY too young for the role. PEOPLE WHO MAKE MOVIES. STOP DOING THAT. Don't try to tell me that Blake Lively and Ben Affleck could have had a years-long relationship in any way other than statutory rape. Ugh.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Toy Story 3</span> (Sobbed off and on for the whole movie. It's wonderful.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Tron: Legacy</span> (My Gentleman Caller dragged me to this one. Well. I went willingly because of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm165516544/nm0790688">Michael Sheen</a> [Seeing a pattern here?] and the Daft Punk score. It was fine. I despised Garrett Hedlund in the main role, but Jeff Bridges and Olivia Wilde were fine. Sheen was hilarious and, I'm sure, took home massive amounts of money for his 15 minutes of screentime.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">True Grit</span> (GAH. I HAVE to see this before the Oscars!)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Unstoppable</span> (I do not have to see this one, ever.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Warriors of Quigang</li><li style="font-style: italic;">Waste Land</li><li style="font-style: italic;">The Way Back</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Winter's Bone</span> (I adored this film. Best movie of the year, hands down. Everyone in it is wonderful and perfect, but John Hawkes and Jennifer Lawrence are SO excellent. I can't say enough good things about this film.)<br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">Wish 143</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Wolfman</span> (I would watch this with friends to mock it. We should get on that.)</li></ul>Looks like I've got some work to do! What Oscar movies have you seen?Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-848452766622657072011-01-25T18:15:00.008-05:002011-01-25T23:32:04.416-05:00Rants of Ice and Fire: Oh, HELL NoHey Sorsha, remember when I recommended that podcast to you, <span style="font-style: italic;">Podcast of Ice and Fire</span>? Yeah, well, I'm rescinding my recommendation. I enjoyed the first episode and part of the second one I listened to (I texted you a quote) but immediately after that, one of the women on the 'cast treated the listeners to a lecture about Catelyn Stark and how she's not a strong character because she's a wife and mother.<br /><br />...No, really. That was it. I'm on record as not being a huge Catelyn fan. Mostly because I find her boring and think she was a bitch to Jon Snow, whom I adore. (Though I can sort of understand her reasoning. Well. As much as I can understand why anyone would be mean to a little kid, even if he IS your husband's illegitimate kid of TOP SECRET maternity.) But I certainly don't think she's<span style="font-style: italic;"> weak</span>. And I think she left "traditional" femininity behind when she hopped on her horse to go rally the Tullys and gather evidence against the Lannisters for booting her son out the window. And then arresting Tyrion. And the way she handled the arrest was pretty fucking masterful. And she seems extra tough when you compare her to her miserable sister. Ugh.<br /><br />Yeah, she raised five kids. Hell, six, if you count Jon Snow. (Are we to think she completely ignored him? I'm unclear on this. I guess it doesn't matter much.) She was a dutiful and loving wife to Ned and mistress of Winterfell. None of these things make her weak. Motherhood's a fucking tough job, I'm pretty sure. Especially when you don't have things like, you know, epidurals, antibiotics, diapers, pacifiers and soap. And unlike that gorgon Cersei (To whom she was being compared unfavorably), she doesn't: 1. Fuck her brother 2. Murder her husband 3. Have any Damien-Omen kids.<br /><br />I'm mostly just really offended by the notion that if you don't try to act like a man, you're weak. Like I said in my ridiculously impassioned defense of Sansa: not everyone can be Arya or Dany. If you put a sword in <span style="font-style: italic;">my</span> hand, I'd probably be all, "Um. This is heavy. I'm just gonna put this down over here before I drop it on my foot" and then I'd go read a book. Or knit something. Or bake something. In fact, I'm looking up <a href="http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2011/02/cocoa_brownies_with_browned_butter_and_walnuts">brownie recipes</a> as we speak. ...Type. And I'd (GASP!) like to get married and have babies someday. !!!!!!!!! Whatever. I GUESS I'M JUST TOO WEAK/BORING/USELESS TO LIVE.<br /><br />So, back to the podcast...I'll be unsubscribing. Which sucks because I loved being able to listen to something Westeros-related at work. It's the NEXT BEST THING to reading the novels. But I don't need that kind of misogynistic bullshit.<br /><br />AND NO BROWNIES FOR YOU, PODCAST OF ICE AND FIRE.<br /><br />ETA: Oh, there was other stuff, too. This was just the bit I was ranty about.Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-37682017196548769262011-01-23T19:50:00.005-05:002011-01-23T20:03:17.301-05:00Well, There Goes the Rest of My Spare Time For the Forseeable Future...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqf0ri421Y6tuh3RoY_4AoVPLdZgYs-uaDHxioV_3sFcN4yILVhvuZVOKS8pVtNSa1botlbwo6EB9mjbKn_t-QY8-aMSnnSmXzplEaZRo_VnHvPU_Af9VNm9hMweHO8eIGCNF3G-BltiVA/s1600/MartinGeekdom.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 221px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqf0ri421Y6tuh3RoY_4AoVPLdZgYs-uaDHxioV_3sFcN4yILVhvuZVOKS8pVtNSa1botlbwo6EB9mjbKn_t-QY8-aMSnnSmXzplEaZRo_VnHvPU_Af9VNm9hMweHO8eIGCNF3G-BltiVA/s320/MartinGeekdom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565548691481360674" border="0" /></a><br />I visited my local used book store yesterday to see if they had book two of <span style="font-style: italic;">A Song of Ice and Fire</span> in stock and guess what?! They had all three! The bookseller was quite delighted with my purchases; he seemed to be a big fan of the series. He warned me ominously that it's been years since the last book came out and that <span style="font-weight: bold;">No One Knows</span> when book five will be out. I assured him that I was aware of the risk and was willing to fling myself headlong into book-related heartbreak.* The best part is that they only cost me $10! YAAAY! (All three at Amazon was going to set me back $30, which had me squawking in indignation, but I was still totally going to pay it.)<br /><br />Also, Sorcha and I may need to have a mild throwdown over <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3982787584/tt0944947">Sansa Stark</a>. Only mild because I can see her point of view, but I have all this empathy for Sansa.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />*Hey, it was, like, twelve years between the releases of the fourth and fifth <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth%27s_Children">Earth's Children</a><span style="font-style: italic;"></span> novels. Wait. Bad example. Book Five of that series, </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shelters-Stone-Jean-M-Auel/dp/0609610597">Shelters of Stone</a>,</span> suuuuuucked. Like, a lot.</span>Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-50516962818170123792011-01-22T10:44:00.005-05:002011-01-23T20:46:20.747-05:00Mini Review of Book-In-Progress: "A Game of Thrones"<a href="http://nightshadeloophole.blogspot.com/">Sorsha</a> has been after me for months in her gentle way (No, really. She doesn't pressure. She knows better. Almost no one manipulates me better than her) to start reading the first book in <span style="font-style: italic;">A Song of Ice and Fire</span> series, <span style="font-style: italic;">A Game of Thrones</span>.<br /><br />I've had the damn book for over a year. I bought it at a used book store when she first started talking about it and I'd heard about the series from my fellow geeks online. Mostly, they were bitching about the next book not being out. And then Neil Gaiman told them <a href="http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/05/entitlement-issues.html">to shut up about it</a> and that was fun. So, I picked up the book, took one look at all the characters with the crazy names and put it back down. I'd look at it longingly on occasion, but went on to other things. But I really wanted to get it read before the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0944947/">HBO miniseries with the AWESOME cast</a> came on. In April. I think I've got time. But you know. Time gets away from you. And then there was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzzFx2eTRm4">this preview</a>.<br /><br />Yeah. I need to get on that.<br /><br />So, I started it this week. DETERMINED.<br /><br />After numerous texts to Sorsha (And pouncing on her at work), visits to the IMDB page (Sometimes it helps if I can get mental pictures of the characters in my mind) and<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_song_of_ice_and_fire"> the Wikipedia page </a>(Careful there if you're spoiler-averse) and I've mostly got my brain wrapped around the thirty or so primary and secondary characters and the "rules" of the world they live in.<br /><br />And it's so fucking awesome. It's like a really mean, dirty (Both in sexual terms and like, grime) Middle Earth. Everyone is complex and layered and morally ambiguous. My favorite character is still <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2422506496/tt0944947">Daenerys</a>, nicknamed Dany, a thirteen-year-old deposed princess married off by her asshole brother to a warlord so he (The asshole brother) can build his army and get his throne back. She's terrified (And who wouldn't be?) but eventually comes to like her scary husband (Jason Momoa is playing him in the mini, if that tells you anything) and, more importantly, realizes that she needs to toughen the fuck up if she's going to survive. And she DOES and it's AWESOME. Also, that picture of her from IMDB immediately made me think of the <a href="http://mabdese.net/jungle/images/Maxx1_25.jpg">Jungle Queen</a> from <span style="font-style: italic;">The Maxx</span>. 90s nostalgia!<br /><br />So, reading continues and I need to order the next three books off of Amazon. WOOOO!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">P.S. Three guesses as to why I used the <span style="font-style: italic;">Flowers in the Attic</span> tag.</span> <span style="font-size:85%;">Hee.</span>Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-7924324538592714732010-12-11T22:05:00.007-05:002010-12-11T23:15:45.192-05:00Christmas, Christmas Time Is Here!Ah, a December Saturday evening...I'm tucked up in my warmest jimjams with a cup of tea and an English muffin preparing to do one of my favorite lame seasonal activities: watching Christmas episodes of television shows on DVD. And if you think I'm SUPER lame for doing this...well. Sustained, I guess. But I AM super lame and this blog generally documents my lamitudes and you find that delightful, DON'T YOU? Ahem.<br /><br />ANYWAY.<br /><br />I'm starting with <span style="font-style: italic;">My So-Called Life</span>,"So-Called Angels." I'm about 30 seconds in and oh, <span style="font-style: italic;">Ricky</span>. I started here because I've been listening to the <a href="http://extrahotgreat.com/ehg-006/">Extra Hot Great podcast</a> (And if you're not, you should be. And the <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/archives/archive.php?thingId=129472378">Pop Culture Happy Hour</a>. Seriously. They both bring me much glee at work. And really, who <span style="font-style: italic;">couldn't</span> use more glee at work? You could. I<span style="font-style: italic;"> know</span> you could) and they were talking about <span style="font-style: italic;">MSCL</span> and it made me remember how much I love that show. (Also, 10 minutes in and I remember how much I loathe Angela's sister Danielle. Shut UP, Danielle, GOD.)<br /><br />So here's what I've got on deck (Literally, I have a pile of DVDs sitting next to me):<br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Gilmore Girls</span>, "Forgiveness and Stuff," season 1, episode 10. Everyone is still mad at everyone after Rory and Dean stayed out all night after her first dance. The Richard goes to the hospital with chest pains and they get over it. Oh, season one <span style="font-style: italic;">Gilmore Girls</span>. How much you did not suck! Remember when <strike>I</strike> you didn't want to slap Rory?<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Buffy the Vampire Slayer</span>, "Amends," season 3, episode 10. The one where The First Evil makes its, um, first appearance and tries to corrupt Angel. And Willow tries to seduce Oz in an adorable fashion. I know most people don't like this episode but it's full of <span style="font-style: italic;">angst delicious angst</span> and I love it.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Joan of Arcadia</span>, "The Uncertainty Principle," season 1 episode 11. This one fudging a little because it's not a terribly Christmasy episode but it revolves around the winter dance. God tells Joan to go to the dance with a troubled boy (Who played Andrew Schillinger on <span style="font-style: italic;">Oz</span> and it weirded me out to see him here) and things get all dramatic. I always get the chills during the last five minutes of this episode.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Veronica Mars</span>, "An Echolls Family Christmas," season 1, episode 10. Veronica is hired to find out who stole the winnings from a 09er poker game and Keith investigates a famous actor's stalking. There's a shanking. It's pretty awesome.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Doctor Who</span>, "The Christmas Invasion," series 2, episode 1. God, I love this episode. David Tennant's first episode as the Tenth Doctor and he totally kicks ass. I got annoyed with Ten toward the end (SHUT UP WITH YOUR EMO MAN PAIN, FOR REAL!) but I adored him when he first started.<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">The West Wing</span>, "In Excelsis Deo," season 1, episode 20 and "Noel," season 2, episode 10. The first is when a homeless veteran dies wearing a coat that Toby donated to Goodwill and Toby arranges a military funeral for him. The second is the one where Josh has PTSD and is my second favorite episode of <span style="font-style: italic;">TWW</span> EVER (My first favorite, like everyone else ever, is "Two Cathedrals").<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">The Office</span>, "Christmas Party, season 2, episode 16. Yaaaankee swap and Jim gets Pam a teapot. (I also hate Michael Scott.)<br /></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Scrubs</span>, "My Own Personal Jesus," season 1, episode 11. The gang deliver a baby in a park. Dr. Cox is grinchy.<br /></li></ul>So...what's YOUR favorite Christmas episode? Something I didn't mention? Do you hate Danielle Chase as much as I do?Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-79679158071170101162010-11-22T23:33:00.002-05:002010-11-22T23:39:10.390-05:00ALSO.I need to talk about <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/sherlock/index.html"><span style="font-style: italic;">Sherlock</span></a>. DON'T THINK I WON'T. But I'm tired right now. But it is SO. AWESOME. If you haven't watched it, you need to. If you have, tell me in the comments how it is your favorite thing ever.<br /><br />I'll write a full review soon. VERY. SOON.<br /><br />But for you ladies (and gents!), a round of Marry, Cliff, Shag from Sherlock!<br /><br />Marry, Cliff, Shag: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1212722/">Sherlock</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0293509/">John</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001291/">Lestrade</a>. GO!Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-47464125630757082362010-11-22T22:47:00.004-05:002010-11-22T23:25:31.284-05:00A Conversation With the Guy at Target Concerning My Chemical RomanceToday was the release date for the <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/music/reviews/album/69206/236877">new My Chemical Romance CD</a>, <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/nov/18/my-chemical-romance-danger-days-review"><span style="font-style: italic;">Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys</span></a>. Of <span style="font-style: italic;">course</span> I went out on my lunch break and <a href="http://www.target.com/Danger-Days-Lives-Fabulous-Killjoys/dp/B0045NR16O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&keywords=danger%20days&fromGsearch=true&sr=1-1&qid=1290484941&rh=&searchRank=target104545&id=Danger%20Days%20Lives%20Fabulous%20Killjoys&node=1038576%7C1287991011&searchSize=30&searchPage=1&searchNodeID=1038576%7C1287991011&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&frombrowse=0">bought it</a>. And very happily danced my way back to work. Yes, I can dance and drive at the same time. I'm special that way. VERY. SPECIAL.<br /><br />Now, if you clicked that Target link -- and I doubt you did -- you'll see that it says that the CD is available online but not in stores. Since today was the release date, this confused me. And I'd be damned if I'd waste precious minutes of my lunch break on a failed visit to Target. So, I called the store.<br /><br />I knew I would regret this.<br /><br />The Target near my work is not a good Target. It's poorly stocked and staffed. I routinely want to slap people in the makeup aisles. But, whatever, it's two seconds away from my work; it's convenient. So, this happened:<br /><br />Target Guy: Hellothankyouforcallingtargetthisiselectronicshowmayihelpyou.<br /><br />Me: Hi! Do you have My Chemical Romance's new CD in stock today?<br /><br />Target Guy: ...<span style="font-style: italic;">What</span> is it called?<br /><br />Me: <span style="font-style: italic;">Danger Days.</span><br /><br />Target Guy: [dubiously] <span style="font-style: italic;">What's</span> the name of the band?<br /><br />Me: [sigh] My Chemical Romance.<br /><br />Target Guy: [suspiciously] And <span style="font-style: italic;">what's</span> the name of the CD again?<br /><br />Me: <span style="font-style: italic;">Danger. Days. </span><br /><br />Target Guys: <span style="font-style: italic;">Danger Days</span>...<span style="font-style: italic;">Danger Days</span>...huh. And what genre of music is that?<br /><br />Me: Rock.<br /><br />Target Guy: ...Huh. Yeah, we have it. It's $8.99.<br /><br />Me: Cool! Thanks!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">fin. </span><br /><br />I enjoyed how he clearly had no idea what I was talking about and thought I was just making shit up. Which is not outside the realm of possibility, but not today. Whatever, he probably just has better taste in music than I do. WHATEVER, DON'T JUDGE ME.<br /><br />IT'S REALLY AWESOME! :DDDDDDDDDBeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-23837387752317422112010-09-29T18:44:00.004-05:002010-09-29T19:37:54.972-05:00Bad Day Rehab: Celebrity BoyfriendsHmmm...rough day at work today, babies. Well. Let's be honest, it's been a rough MONTH at work, babies. I try not to talk about my job on my blog because I don't want to get FIRED or otherwise compromised. But I don't think the little fact that it's been a suck-ass month will be too problematical. But whatev, let's talk about something that will cheer me up: my ever-revolving parade of celebrity boyfriends. I know, Gentle Readers, that you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and gasp, "WHO IS IN BEA'S TOP 5 LIST OF CELEBRITY BOYFRIENDS <span style="font-style: italic;">THIS</span> WEEK!?!?!?" Well, in the interests of everyone getting a proper night's rest, I'll tell you. I'm a humanitarian.<br /><br /><ol><li><a href="http://fuckyeahrdj.tumblr.com/">Robert Downey Jr.</a> Neither I nor EGT understand Tumblr, but that site makes me laugh. A lot. Mame and I are eagerly anticipating <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhpaMLDz8N4">Due Date</a>. During my studies of Downey's career, I've found <a href="http://www.dandychick.com/rdjfilmguide/index.php">this</a> to be a very useful resource. For each film of his they ask "Dies/Gay/Villain?" My favorite answer is for <span style="font-style: italic;">Sherlock Holmes</span>: "No/Vaguely/No." HA!<br /></li><li><a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm236426240/ch0024261">Dr.</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfcLQqX_BFk">Spencer</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spencer_Reid">Reid</a>. He may be fictional, but he still the prettiest.<br /></li><li><a href="http://video.pbs.org/video/1565831820/">Benedict</a> <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/jul/17/benedict-cumberbatch-sherlock-holmes">Cumberbatch</a>. Yes. I still think his name sounds like a gay porn star. Or, as the Nerdist dude pointed out, like a teacher from Hogwarts. But he's super hot. And he has a <a href="http://www.fashionfoiegras.com/2010/08/bbcs-sherlock-holmes-prefers-belstaff.html">damn fine coat</a>. And a sexy voice. So...SOLD. Also, he may not be human but I'm not letting that get in my way.<br /></li><li><a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2453897472/nm0790688">Michael</a> <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm165516544/nm0790688">Sheen</a>. He's adorable and sometimes makes good movies: <span style="font-style: italic;">The Queen, Frost/Nixon, </span>and<span style="font-style: italic;"> The Damned United</span>. And not-so-good movies: <span style="font-style: italic;">Twilight: New Moon, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, </span>and<span style="font-style: italic;"> Tron: Legacy</span>. (Damn you, Michael. Now I have to see that piece of shit. But the <a href="http://www.spin.com/articles/daft-punks-tron-soundtrack-due-november">Daft Punk soundtrack</a> does make me feel a bit better about the whole thing.) Also, why all the colons, Michael? And he <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hTTwSQPmMo">surprise!presented</a> at the Oscars, thrilling me (and EGT) beyond belief. That was a pretty bad day for me, so I choose to think it was a special gift from him. Shhhhh...don't try to reason with me. He's a really, really good actor and also does <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHXGRquy5Ok">music videos</a>. I like that in a celebrity boyfriend. </li><li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tevg_jT5Sco">Terrance</a> <a href="http://io9.com/5079586/repos-graverobber-talks-to-io9-about-opera-horror-and-porn">Zdunich</a>. Seriously. Have you not seen <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0963194/">Repo! The Genetic Opera</a> yet? Get on that, will you? (If you don't like camp and gore, you'll hate it. Luckily, I love both.) This dude emailed me. Because I ordered a <a href="http://www.themoltingcomic.com/">comic book</a> from his <a href="http://www.terrancezdunich.com/home.html">website</a>. The fit I threw could not be documented. Lucky Sorsha was there to witness it! I'm a challenging friend. (P.S. The comic was really good! I haven't gotten around to ordering the rest of the series, but I did like it. Despite the fucking cockroaches.)<br /></li></ol>Well. That was fun, wasn't it? Tell me about YOUR celebrity boyfriends/girlfriends! There's no shame (or dignity!) here.Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-34647128835917702072010-09-23T19:30:00.005-05:002010-09-23T19:55:55.025-05:00A PSA From Me To You...So, I got yet another text from Mame demanding that I back her up on the two things that Jersey kids were warned against in a most dire and repetitive fashion. I immediately texted back "Escalators. Railroad tracks." Because it is true.<br /><br />When I saw <span style="font-style: italic;">Mallrats</span> for the first time, I laughed until I cried at <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gwGcP8QbH8">Brodie's rant</a> about fearing and respecting the escalator. When I was little, my father had me convinced that if I didn't hold onto my parent with one hand and have the other on the railing, my shoes tightly tied and my Cabbage Patch kid held high above the platform, the escalator would eat me. And then spit out one pigtail and a Punky Brewster hightop sneaker. And then belch and laugh like Pennywise the Clown. (By the way, googling "escalator accidents" brings up some really awesome stuff. If I ever do a sequel to <a href="http://fitaproject.blogspot.com/2010/07/wherein-reader-learns-that-narrator-is.html">this post</a>, which is sadly likely, I'll be sure to mention escalator accidents. I'm so sorry.) I still check to make sure my shoes are tied before I step on an escalator. YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL, OK?<br /><br />Mame and I (and probably Sorsha, a fellow Jersey girl) sat through SO MANY assemblies about the dangers of playing on railroad tracks. A particularly memorable one showed us goggle-eyed 7-year-olds what would happen if you stood too close to a train going past. You know what happens? Your head comes off. Then there was the terrifying one I saw when I was a teenager with a lady who got stuck on the tracks when her car stalled and her baby was in the backseat. Yeah. The baby didn't make it. TRAUMA. OK? I am SO careful on railroad tracks, you have no idea.<br /><br />Escalators. Railroad tracks. What are your PSA-related childhood traumas?Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-69736589179502706812010-09-22T17:00:00.002-05:002010-09-24T23:08:15.197-05:00"Iron Man" vs. "The Dark Knight" or Bea Is An Embarrassingly Huge Geek, Feel Free To Mock HerI was listening to the <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/">Culturetopia</a> podcast at work today. Culturetopia's Pop Culture Happy Hour is one of my favorites, it's kind of hysterical. Anyway. One of the...podcasters? whatever was talking about comic book movies and said that they thought that <span style="font-style: italic;">Iron Man</span> was as good, if not better than, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span>. Of course, I squawked in indignation. But, then I thought about it.<br /><br />...Huh. Is <span style="font-style: italic;">Iron Man</span> as good a movie as <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span>? And why has this geek Thunderdome question never occurred to me before? I'm frankly disappointed in myself. Whatever. So, let's lay out the facts here...First, let me say that I am not a superhero comic book geek. I'm more a graphic novel kind of girl and I don't really read superhero comics at all. Except for the odd Batman book here and there. Secondly, I have a giant crush on <a href="http://fitaproject.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-recent-trip-down-robert-downey-jr_20.html">Robert Downey Jr.</a> right now and that could bias my answers just a taaad.<br /><br /><ul><li>Best Superhero: Hmm. I like Batman better. Iron Man is fine and all but basically, he's a dude in a suit. I mean, he's smart and good with, you know, physics and stuff, but he's a spoiled playboy in a big metal suit. Batman? TRAINED BY NINJAS. You can't beat that with an M.I.T. degree. No way.<br /></li><li>Best Alter Ego: Oh my God, Tony Stark all the way. SHUT UP, BRUCE WAYNE. NO, SHUT UP SOME MORE. GO GET SOME THERAPY. Tony Stark has daddy issues, but does he whinge about them all the time and fantasize about bats? No. No, he does not. I mean, sure, he sluts it up and drinks like a fish but he doesn't WHINE. And then he gets kidnapped and tortured and he turns his PTSD into something positive! So there. Sure, Bruce Wayne fakes the whole spoiled and slutty playboy thing, but Tony? Not faking. And he's hilaarious.<br /></li><li>Best Special Lady Friend: Pepper Potts is so much awesomer than anyone but she is particularly awesomer than Rachel Dawes, who kind of sucks. There is no character in the Marvel 'verse that is more important to me than Pepper Potts. (Seriously, if she's not in the Avengers movie, I'll cut someone. Not kidding.<span style="font-size:85%;"> [Kidding. I'm a Quaker. No cutting.]</span>) Pepper is smart, ladylike, competent but doesn't take any bullshit. Particularly from Tony. She'll reach into his chest and change his glowy-heart-thing (Yes, I know what it's called) and dismiss his one night stands in the morning for him, but she is not going to let him talk dirty at her or put up with any nonsense. Can you tell that I'm a HUGE Tony/Pepper fan? Heh. Ugh, Rachel Dawes. I went on at some length in my <a href="http://fitaproject.blogspot.com/2008/07/movie-review-dark-knight.html">review</a> of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span> concerning the problems I have with Ms. Dawes. Seriously, a girl doesn't have to have superpowers or be ass kickin' or a villain or hero to be awesome. She can just be...awesome. See also: Ross, Betty or if we're talkin' books, Everdeen, Katniss.<br /></li><li>Best Villains: <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span>, no question. Can you get better villains that Heath Ledger's Joker and Aaron Eckhart's Two-Face? And I think<span style="font-style: italic;"> Iron Man</span> villains tend to be kind of weak. Obadiah Stane was pretty meh. I mean, he had a good scene with Gwyneth Paltrow when she's trying to get the files off of Tony's computer and he's subtly menacing her but whatever. One scene. Heath Ledger basically OWNED <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span>.<br /></li><li>Best Sidekicks/Friends: This also goes to <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span>. I think Lucius, Alfred and Gordon are much more awesome than Happy and Rhodey. Though Tony Stark has some cool robots. </li><li>Lead Actors: I really love both Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr. They're two of my favorite actors. I much prefer what Downey does with Tony Stark to what Bale does with Bruce Wayne/Batman. I find Downey more nuanced. I'm not entirely wild about Bale's gravelly Batman voice. The way Downey interacts with Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper and how he quietly plays Tony's return after his kidnapping is really excellent. I can name a dozen little things that Downey does that makes his performance as Tony memorable but I can't name a single one that Bale does besides being looming and muscley.<br /></li><li>Miscellaneous: I prefer the look of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight</span> and the grim, goth vibe. I really like the music in <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dark Knight.</span> Though I know a lot of people haaaaated it, I LOVED the use of the Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" over the end credits of that movie. I laaaaughed.</li></ul>Man. Even after laying it out like that, I'm still not sure! I think I enjoy <span style="font-style: italic;">Iron Man</span> more. It's definitely more fun. When I have a bad day, I'm going to come home and watch <span style="font-style: italic;">Iron Man</span>. But I think<span style="font-style: italic;"> The Dark Knight</span> is a better film.Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-30862379785956869512010-08-06T23:00:00.005-05:002010-08-07T13:00:48.387-05:00Oh, It's ON...I think <a href="http://nightshadeloophole.blogspot.com/">Sorsha</a> and I are going to have an epic throwdown over the superior Sherlock Holmes portrayer: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0107950/">Jeremy Brett</a> or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001651/">Basil Rathbone</a>. Watch this space for VICTORIAN THUNDERDOME. (I should have Six the Laptop back from my computer-fixer-guy next week!)<br /><br />Chime in, Dear Readers...who's your favorite Holmes? You know I LOVE Robert Downey Jr. but he's my #2 Holmes. BRETT ALL THE WAY. HE IS THE DEFINITIVE HOLMES.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I can't speak to the quality of the new guy in the BBC series Sherlock (Because it doesn't air in the U.S. until FREAKIN' OCTOBER), but he does have the gay porniest name in all the land: </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1212722/"><span style="font-size:85%;">Benedict Cumberbatch</span></a><span style="font-size:85%;">. Yeah.</span>Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-71967949894173460242010-07-23T09:17:00.010-05:002010-07-24T20:24:39.565-05:00A Study In Our Friendship...Welcome friends and readers to part one of what I believe will end up being an eight part series that examines the complexities that exist in Bea and my friendship. In today's entry I will be showing the odd differences between our real-world love life versus the far more interesting and (don't tell Bea) imaginary love life.<br /><br /><br /><strong>The Real World</strong><br /><br /><em>Auntie Mame</em><br /><br />You may find this hard to believe dear readers, but as a teenager your beloved Auntie Mame was, for all intents and purposes, was a whore. My sister (Dolly) will attest that I had what she liked to refer to as the "boy of the month" club; I had a new boyfriend that I fawned all over at the beginning of the month and then tossed aside and complained about by the month's end. I dated everyone from computer nerds to metal rockers with a few preps and jocks thrown in the mix for good measure. I didn't really develop a "type" until my senior year in high school when I realized I should be a little more selective with the boys I swapped saliva with.<br /><br /><em>"Lady" Bea</em><br /><br />Any consistent readers of this blog will <strong>not</strong> be surprised to learn that dear Bea was a bit <em>conservative</em>* during our formative teenage years. It wasn't until college that all my corrupting finally sunk in and she began to even notice those once "icky" boys. Her relationships with the opposite sex are usually monogamous and lengthy - lasting well over my one month cap. She was picky and overly selective in who she shared a dinner table with.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Our Imaginary (and Far <em>Better</em>) World</strong><br /><br /><em>Auntie Mame</em><br /><br />I have been in love with John Travolta since I was only a few months old. Being born in late 1979 meant that reruns of the Emmy award winning<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072582/awards"> (it won like nine right?) </a><em>Welcome Back, Kotter </em>had started to air nightly. Since my parents were Joan and what's-his-name I was put to bed after the rerun of Vinny Barbarino saying "Up your nose wit a rubba hose" was over. I've loved John Travolta with a very weird passion every since.<br /><br />Then came the movie, <em>Beetlejuice </em>and with it a love for the quirky lead actor in his black and white, plaid, flannel shirt. This was right before my father, What's-His-Face, discovered a little movie called <em>the Hunt for Red October</em> and I was smacked in the face with a love for the classic good looks of one Alec Baldwin. He's the kind of crazy that reminds me of my extended family, and there's something cozy and familiar about that.<br /><br />As time grew on, my love for John never wained.<br /><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 216px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497637417850072530" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg84VBAulPfkI-OA4Y8TIC7sNpfmaInNhRxfFRgqyC33Q5DQcDxqWZU2VCQZCKAAD1IvthMGnjU3BleCIi-lJ3fwvaPmcmwUGL4toRLxBmvV98m_nxkLUBg4jAaNtNe54GZfZcWbomFA4Vf/s320/battlefield_earth_ver1.jpg" /> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:78%;">Yes, even when he gave us <em>this</em></span></p><p align="left"><br />When I feel the need to get away from it all, it is to one of these two men whose arms I run (figuratively speaking). When I'm in a dramatic, angry mood: I like to pretend that Alec and I have explosive, public arguements and then explosive, public sex to make up. When I'm feeling sad and down on myself: I pretend that John is there being the sweet and comforting man he's known to be. Anyway, that's the way it's always been: me and John, or me and Alec, depending on my mood. Yes, occasionally there have been other actors that have caught my attention, but never in the same way. I've seen every movie John has ever made, and if they are available on DVD, I own it (including the made-for-TV-movie, <em>The Boy in the Plastic Bubble</em>), and every Thursday I obsess over my darling Alec in <em>30 Rock</em>.</p><p align="left"><em>"Lady" Bea</em><br /></p><p align="left">She's as loose in her Hollywood life as she is reserved and <a href="http://fitaproject.blogspot.com/2010/07/wherein-reader-learns-that-narrator-is.html">scared </a>in her real life. Bea changes her pretend love life as often as I changed my real one (back in the day of course, I'm a happily married woman now). Despite what she'd like us all to believe, she's not overly particular in her Hollywood adorations - she once told me about a dirty crush on Billy Bob Thorton - and she spends her nights doing what it took me a lifetime to do: watching every movie, TV show, and B-rated musical they had ever been in. It's hard for me to keep track of who's who honestly; Is Jensen Ackles the guy from <em>Doctor Who</em>? Is David Tennet the comic book writer? I can't keep them straight. If she were better on the computer, I'm sure she'd create a flow chart to explain all this to me, but, well, you know.</p><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">read : prude</span>Auntie Mamehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12242844375515766875noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8217862707771098308.post-64379234750485456242010-07-20T17:40:00.004-05:002010-07-20T19:54:57.217-05:00My Recent Trip Down Robert Downey Jr. LaneIt should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me In Real Life or is a reader of this blog that I go through celebrity boyfriends like most people change their sheets. You know, a new one every week or so, a little longer if I get lazy. I mean, this summer alone, I've gone through like, four. Whatever, I like variety. Because what I do is, I find someone to obsess over and then I rent every one of their movies I can find and watch them all. And then when I've viewed all the media I can find concerning them, I get bored and move on. I mean, by the time I got sick of Christopher Eccleston, I'd watched his entire season of <span style="font-style: italic;">Doctor Who</span> AND all the DVD extras and every one of his movies. Including <span style="font-style: italic;">Jude</span>. Which made me suicidal. God<span style="font-style: italic;">damn</span>, that movie is depressing.<br /><br />Hey, a girl has to have a hobby, right? So, this summer the lucky new obsessee seems to be...Robert Downey Jr. I know, I know. That's almost...normal, right? He's like, traditionally handsome and an actual movie star! I know. I'm disappointed too. But whatever. At least he's got lots of movies to choose from, many of which I've already seen and liked. Here's what I've watched so far:<br /><br /><ul><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Iron Man</span> and<span style="font-style: italic;"> Iron Man 2</span>: Duh. Any self-respecting geek has already seen and loved these. They're really great adaptations and Downey is great in them. And I think I love <span style="font-style: italic;">Iron Man 2</span> even more because I have a SEVERE hate-on for Terrance Howard. I hated <span style="font-style: italic;">Hustle & Flow</span> and I resent everyone who was involved with that shit-ass movie. HATE. So, the fact that he was replaced by Don Cheadle, whom I ADORE, just made it all the better. Love Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper and I LOVE Pepper and Tony. They are so <span style="font-style: italic;">cute</span>. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Sherlock Holmes</span>: Saw it when it came out, of course. Loved it then. Dragged EGT to see when she came to visit. Still loved it. I just watched it recently and aside from the actual DVD refusing to play on my PS2 (Fuck you, Warner Bros copy guard), I loved it even more upon rewatching. Downey is really great as Holmes, smart and bitchy and funny. One of the best things about Downey as an actor is that he's always thinking, always doing something interesting, even when not much is going on. I LOVE the scene at the end on the scaffolding with Holmes, Irene Adler (The lovely Rachel McAdam) and the bad guy, Blackwhatever. And Blackwhatever is about to push Irene off the edge and Downey does this subtle, begging headshake and bad guy shoves her off the edge and twirls his mustache and Downey shouts a clipped, "NO!" before he can stop himself. It's SO GREAT. And I love Jude Law as Watson. I am not notably a Law fan, but boy, was he fun in this movie. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Chaplin</span>: Ugh, sorry guys. I thought this was really boring. I don't usually like biopics because they usually suuuuuck. Downey was good in this and so was Kevin Kline (He's ALWAYS good) but ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. </li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">A Scanner Darkly</span>: I have this from the library and am watching it now. Hee. This shit is crazy.<br /></li></ul>And the movie that prompted this post was <span style="font-style: italic;">Less Than Zero</span>, which the lovely Sorsha loaned to me and also <a href="http://nightshadeloophole.blogspot.com/2010/07/less-than-zeroa-trip-back-in-time.html">blogged about</a>. She is such a shameless enabler. I didn't really like the movie. I'd heard it wasn't very good but that RDJ was fantastic in it. I mostly agree with this statement. My first problem: I don't usually like movies about drug addicts. Second problem? I don't give a shit about rich people and how miserable they all are. Seriously, go dry your tears on your money. (Class issues? Me? NO. SURELY NOT.) Third problem? I hate Andrew McCarthy. I didn't like him in<span style="font-style: italic;"> Pretty in Pink</span>. I didn't like him in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w5s6V8rQH4"><span style="font-style: italic;">Mannequin</span></a>. I do not like him in a house, I do not like him with a mouse. He has a high voice. It weirds me out.<br /><br />So, with all these strikes against it, I watched the damn movie. Ugh. Whatever. It was ok. I think McCarthy and Jami Gertz are both pretty bad in it. I liked Gertz fine in both <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost Boys</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Solarbabies</span> (WHAT? I LIKE THAT MOVIE. IT'S NOT A CRIME, OK?) [It sort of is] but I didn't think she was too great here. Probably they just both looked really bad next to really fabulous performances by Robert Downey Jr. and James Spader.<br /><br />McCarthy plays Clay, who has just come home from college at Christmas to see his ex-girlfriend Blair (I think it's Blair. Maybe it's Blake. Whatever, I'm not looking it up, I just won't mention her name again. PROBLEM SOLVED) whom he'd dumped at Thanksgiving because he caught her and his best friend Julian boning. Whatever. I can't fault her taste. It's all very dramatic, with a bouquet of flowers being pegged at their post-coital heads. HA. Downey plays Julian, the wacky best friend who's become seriously addicted to drugs. Cocaine, I think. I don't know, something snorty. Like any addict, Julian is, by turns, charming, needy, aggressive, affectionate, nasty and desperate. Downey is really great at switching him back and forth. It's a really painful performance to watch especially when you know that later it mirrored real life. Sometimes Julian is so vulnerable you can barely stand to look at him (Something I also noticed with Downey's performance in <span style="font-style: italic;">Chaplin</span>) and other times he's so cocky, you just want to bitch-slap him. The scene with Julian and his dad sort-of reconciling had me in tears. I texted Sorsha and she laughed at me. NICE, RIGHT?<br /><br />James Spader, my favorite douchebag, plays Rip (No, I'm not kidding you with that name), the drug dealer who convinces Julian that the best way to work off his debt is as a rentboy. Spader is really nasty and sleazy and great in his manipulation of the increasingly stupid Julian. It's pretty masterful. God, I love James Spader. Heh. I'm sure the sight of Downey on his knees in a day-glo hotel room was pretty shocking for the 80s but I wasn't very impressed. And I could have done without all the puking, thanks. And memo to 80s Downey: It's called Chapstick. Get you some.<br /><br />Also, Mame would like you all to know that she had a crush on Robert Downey Jr. in the late 90s when she made me watch <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124179/">Two Girls and a Guy</a>. I bitched the entire time. TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE movie. But Mame was right. That guy is hot. (Um, I urge you all to head over to the IMDB entry for that movie. Look at the plot keywords. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)<br /><br />ETA: DUDE. I forgot <span style="font-style: italic;">Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang</span>, basically the BEST MOVIE EVER. Ugh, I fail at my own blog. It's a great movie, Downey is great in it and so is Val Kilmer. Yes, THAT Val Kilmer. He's awesome. And it's written by Shane Black, who writes great action movies. Go rent it.Beahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16239451134091024868noreply@blogger.com6