Sunday, December 9, 2007

Happy Anniversary!

As a celebration of our one year blog, Lady Bea and I have created our awards for the past year. Enjoy!!

Auntie Mame's Awards

Best Celebrity/Law Interaction
I’m going for the Lindsay Lohan 84 minutes in jail on November 15th. That was probably my favorite 84 minutes of year as well, if we were giving an award for that.
Best Train Wreck
Amy Winehouse. When her song “Rehab” first came out, Lady Bea was desperate to get me to buy the CD. Then I started reading about her, and seeing her, and seeing the cocaine dust up her nose. I know nothing of her music, but she has some die-hard fans out there and she is letting them down BIG TIME with not showing up to concerts, etc. The fact that there is video of you snorting cocaine on stage; that there are numerous pictures of you with cocaine clogging your nose; that you were wandering the streets of London in your bra at four in the morning; that you plea with your celebrity friends to post text messages explaining that you were shooting up with hookers, not fighting with your husband, really shows what is going on with you. For these reasons and a myriad of more: Amy Winehouse is my train wreck 2007.
Best Made for TV Movie 2007
Holiday in Handcuffs
I wish I was kidding. I haven’t even seen this movie, but the title alone makes my heart melt. I first thought this was a movie I had seen once when some friends and I crashed a ‘stag party’. It starred Rocco Stifferelli and Jenna Jameson; however a little IMDB’ing and I quickly discovered this is a different movie of the same title. Oh well.
Best happy/sad moment from tv shows
Best Happy Moment:

From “The Office” when Jim and Pam are both denying that they are together and the camera follows Jim and shows him getting picked up by Pam and he leans over and passionately kisses her. I shrieked!!
Best Sad Moment:
When I realized that NBC really was going to go through with the whole JD is having a baby on Scrubs. I haven’t been able to really watch an episode since. The story lines are shitty and the humor is gone. I can honestly say that my previous favorite show has officially “jumped the shark”
Most Cringe-Worthy Moment from "The Office"
OMG. When Jan submits Michael’s diary as evidence in her litigation against Dunder-Mifflen for false termination of employment (or as Beau refers to it “disemployed”). I can’t even go into detail. It’s just that bad. The entire episode.
Best celebrity hair
Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock’s episode titled, “Kenny’s Party”
Best Pop Song you secretly love
How much do I hate to admit this? I really love that song, "Better Than Me" by Hinder. GOD, I have no idea why. I can't realte to the lyrics and all his songs are about how he's cheating or thinking of cheating on his current girlfriend, but I love it nonetheless. Even the line "and the way your innocence tastes" doesn't disgust me as I know it should. Ugh. I hate myself.
Tv Show We Hate that People Won't Shut the Fuck Up About
One word: Jericho. Earlier this year it was announced that poor, idiotic, makes no sense, Jericho was going to be taken off life support. Then a bunch of crazed red-necks and hippies finally joined forces and rather than get the current president out of office, they used their combined power and got the show back on the air. GOD. Let gramma die, people.
Celebrity Couples We Could Care Less About
Zach Efron and Vannessa what’s her name. I haven’t seen High School Musical, I don’t care about either of them. I will say that he looks gay and she posed naked and Disney didn’t fire her. Didn’t Annette Funacello get fired when her she grew tits?
Best Books We Read All Year
Although I would love to say that the best book I’ve read all year was Marlon Brando’s Songs My Mother Taught Me, the best book I’ve read by far has been Gypsy the autobiography of “Gypsy” Rose Lee. She had such a horrible upbringing but there is no animosity in her writing. She is clear and just kind of says “this happened, isn’t that odd?” Some people claim that she didn’t write the book (even though her son states that he remembers her days of writing it and his reading the manuscripts), I tell these people to shut the fuck up. This is the book that made for the foundation of the musical Gypsy. It was terrific.
And worst
Of course the worst book I read this year had Danielle Steele’s name on the cover. It was the “Unauthorized Biography of Danielle Steele.” Ok, I love a good gossip (ya think?), but this was just a bunch of quotes from Danielle herself at various points in her life and various interviews complied and then the two authors explaining what an idiot she is and how she was lying. It was poorly written and had no point…and not in a good way.
Best website of 2007
McSweeney’s how I love thee. It’s an internet magazine (e-zine) that prints hiliarous essays, lists, monologues, anything by anyone. It’s updated all the time and makes for a great end-of-a-crappy-day reading.
Funniest thing of the year
Anything dealing with Britney Spears. Anything.
Best "Shoot Yourself in the Foot" award
Goes to Republican Senator Larry Craig and his crazy public bathroom antics. This was a tough decision on my part because the runner up (Trent Lott being outted by Hustler) makes me happy for the first amendment.
Way to go!!


Auntie Mame said...

Just so everyone knows:
We decided to create this over an instant message chat (our cell phones SUCK) and I got all excited and spent about an hour or so creating my awards list. I cut/paste it to blogger and formatted it. Yeah! It looks nice. So I IM Bea and tell her it's up and ask her when hers will be available. I am really excited for our aniversary/awards celebration.
Here is her response:
Yeah, that's not happening tonight.
Thanks for taking a GIE-NOR-MOOSE shit on my parade, Bea.

Auntie Mame said...

For the record, it's like 8:50 on TUESDAY NIGHT...and alas, there is still no blog from Bea.

"Lady" Bea said...

Oh my GOD. It's up NOW. I WRITE SLOWLY. Quality takes time, bitch.