Friday, June 15, 2007


I know, I know, I’ve been brutally absent from this dear, dear blog (thanks for the guilt trip Bea's mother of mine). But you must realize how ridiculous the end of the school year is for a teacher. I’ve been running around feeling like shaving my head and beating up an SUV with an umbrella.
Things have been crazy, but not in an ‘interesting read-my-blog’ sort of way; more of a "What? It’s eleven o’clock at night? Already?" sort of way. Today is Thursday and I’ve got today and Friday alone before Glowbug is done with daycare and I go back to being a fulltime mommy.
Not much going on with me except that I am watching the 1993 classic movie, Airborne with Shane McDermott and realizing that there are a lot of famous people in this movie (granted none of which is the star of the movie, Shane McDermott, but whatever). The main character’s cousin is played by Seth Greene and Jack Black even has a small role in the bully’s entourage. Rollerblading, a soundtrack by Boyz II Men, what a flick!!
I’m not sure what to write about today, so because of the flashback movie playing in the background, I’m going to go with the easy way out and write about my favorite, hilarious story of Bea:
In high school I had a very sweet ride – a 1985 Buick Century with rusted out grey paint and a heating core that blew almost as much as the smog infested New Jersey air. Any-who, my father thought the best place to get the aforementioned heating core fixed was at the Kmart about five towns over. Whatever, they were cheap and near the mall. One day I dropped the car off to get fixed and good old dad brought me home. About five hours later I got the call that the car was ready so dad dropped Bea and I off to pick it up and then head to the mall about six miles away.
Ok, that is the boring part. Now comes the fun: driving to the mall the car starts to overheat. I know how to deal with this (remember this blog) but Bea panics and jumps from the car, looses her footing and rolls down the sidewalk towards McDonalds. I call the car place who mention, “Oh yeah, we forgot to hook up the hoses on the new heating core. Drive it back and we’ll fix it.” Umm….what?! Bea is now screaming in the background, “There is NO WAY I AM GETTING BACK INTO THAT CAAAR!!!” The car man hears this and agrees to come to the McDonalds and pick us up, he’ll drive my car and I’ll drive his. What??
Now here’s the thing, the guy is damn hot. I get into his car and it smells like grease and sweat, and WOOT! Bea is cackling that I’m all hot and bothered and she's trying to convince me to go through his glove box to find dirty secrets. I can’t. I would, normally, but I can’t. This guy is HOT.
We get to Kmart and I call my pops and tell him the story. He says he’s taking a nap and can’t be bothered to come and get me. Great. I’m trying to look all sexy and flipping my hair and hide the fact that I’m whining to my dad to come and pick me up. He hangs up the phone. I giggle and flip my hair again. Bea is pretending to read a magazine from 1987 in the waiting room but really she’s mocking me: bitch. I call our friend, Dip, who lives nearby (shoutout to DIP!! He’s now an astronaut, I shit you not) to come and get us. Of course he will, because he’s terrific and because he wants to openly laugh at Bea for rolling down the street. He’s on his way.
I go over to Bea and tell her Dip is on the way. I’m acting all cute and flirty with the HOT mechanic when Dip pulls up in his…Miata. His two seater car. Bea realizes this and makes a beeline for the seat leaving me to have to abandon any hope of cuteness and flirting with the hot mechanic and climb my big ass over her and wedge into the back dash of the Miata and plaster my ass along the fake back glass. So much for the hot mechanic. Ugh, stupid Bea…twelve years ago she made me look like an ass. I’m going to go and call Bea at work now and yell at her.


Lady Bea said...

So, in response to this posting, I'm gonna paraphrase the movie "Almost Famous." (It's very Mary Katherine Gallagher of me.) Here goes: "THIS BLOG IS A BLOG OF LIIIIES!" Ok, not quite. But I will deny to my grave that I ever "rolled." There was no rolling. But there WAS Dip looking at me all sideways like he would and saying, "Dude. Did you...roll?" And then he did some quantum physics. Hi, Dip!

Lady Bea said...

And I still can't believe that you wouldn't look in that glove compartment! He could have been your Joey Buttafuoco! Wait, scratch that. Well done, Mame!

Bea's mom said...

Welcome back Mame- IF I had a blog I would lament that Bea broke Dip's heart and now can't be an astronaut wife. I always love ex-boyfriends!