Monday, April 2, 2007

Lady Bea Birthday Surprises

Ahh...Lady Bea has had yet another inevitable birthday. I will be joining her this Thursday to celebrate this accomplishment, but until then let me give you my top ten favorite memories of our our famous second letter of the alphabet:
  1. Once, in high school, Beatrice took on one of the meanest, most arrogant SOBs to come out of our Alma mater. Even though he looked like he was some made for TV movie rapist, and had admitted to hitting girls before, when he called our dear one a 'virginal feminazi' she lost it on him and our teacher let her do it. She put him down using more big-letter words than most of us had heard before. At the end of our rant, our teacher simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, there's not much left to say except [speaking to the ass] shut up, and [speaking to Bea] good use of the word misogynist." I couldn't have been more proud.
  2. Lady Bea knows nothing about cars. Before getting her driver's license at age 27, she knew even less. So when my car began to overheat during midday traffic I knew it would be a big deal. Not because I didn't know how to fix the problem (PS...turn on your heater, promise, it works) but because Bea was in the car and beginning to panic. Before I could turn to her and say 'calm down' she had jumped from the moving car )granted we were going all of 8 mph) and was rolling down the sidewalk.
  3. She cries during funny scenes in movies and laughs at sad parts. It's how we balance each other out.
  4. She has never changed her hairstyle. For most people this would be ridiculous, but it suits Bea and her personality. Her hair makes her part of the cool thing she is.
  5. Bea's dog hated me. Which is more weird than I care to say because all dogs and furry things (Italians included) love me. The dog would let me pet her for about a minute before realizing it was me and trying to bite my face off.
  6. Bea's mom is the mom I've always wanted. I would go to her with my crazy dramas and instead of loosing her always cool composure (as my mother would) she would look at me with bemusement and say, "You know that's not quite right, yes?" and I would either fain that I did, and the convo would be over, or I would admit to not knowing how wrong something was and she would instruct me.
  7. Bea's brother (thatwearen'tallowedtotalkaboutontheblogbecauseheaskedusnotto) is adorable!! And I called him my little brother in high school.
  8. All of Bea's numbers in high school were only about one digit away from each other. To this day, when I need to call her without the use of my cellular, I always dial each number and get a bunch of wrong calls because I know I'll get it eventually.
  9. Bea's pseudo-father only knows me as "The Egg McMuffin Girl"
  10. Bea has hand motions for Talking Heads "Once in a Lifetime"
  11. Bea and I had an agreement that if I got pregnant by one of my many looser boyfriends in high school she would 'accidentally' throw me down the stairs. Luckily, we never had to do this.

OK, so I know this is eleven and TRUST ME I could probably go on to about one hundred, but I've got to save some for next year. Anyways, happy birthday girlie!! I heart you!


Lady Bea said...

Aw Mame, thanks! You are the best BFF a bitch could ask for. I love you to pieces!


I got my license when I was 24. And that whole "rolling" thing? Never happened! Never happened, my friend. But my favorite part of that little "outing" was trying to get you to go through your mechanic's glove compartment on the way back to garage. But you wouldn't! Like it was "unethical" or something. Whatever.

Anonymous said...

HAPPY B-DAY Lady Bea!! I hope that you have a GREAT one (but wasn't it last Sunday?!) Wish that I could come party with you and Mame this weekend, but, alas, I must work and then go to a meeting you two kids be good and party on like a rock star!!

ps: Mame, don't think that I have not noticed that I STILL have not been mentioned in the blog although I have been promised that I will be "named" and mentioned. Oh yeah--I'm a-watching...and a-waiting :-)

pps: When you are visiting Bea, and, oh yeah, our family... whatever... could you please drop me my FITA series in a box and stick it in the mail for me?? Pretty please?? Consider it my Easter present!!

Bea's mom said...

I totally believe the car story. If you've started a tradition with listing examples of Bea's bizarre behavior -I approve. I may need them later when she tries to put me in a home ( state run and of dubious reputation). I hope you (both) have a wonderful Bday, Easter weekend.

PS- You better approve this:)