Sunday, October 28, 2007

BY LAWS (ROUND ONE)

This is a work in-process; Bea and I will update and change this often, I feel. These, dear readers, our the by-laws of Bea and my friendship:

1. One shall only call the other's cell phone twice if no one answers under cases of emergency.

1A. Or if there is something really important on TV

1B. Or if the voicemail screws up (we own really cheap cell phones)

2. One shall never call the other one bitch like it's a bad thing

2A. It is more than acceptable to call the other 'be-otch'

3. There must always be a whore.

3A. It's usually going to be Mame

3B. Unless it's an election year (HA!)

4. Bea must say at least once per half hour phone conversation, "Ugh, I hate you"

4A. Should the phone conversation last over two hours, Bea is no longer obligated to follow this rule.

5. When Mame tells Bea that she will call her back after her shower, she will not call back.

5A. When Beau is out of town, she might.

6. When visiting Jersey, Mame must bring Glow Worm to visit Bea's mother for no less than two (2) hours.

7. Important gossip or angry annoyances before 8AM must be in writing only.

7A. Replies to said writings must be ignored if before the first cup of coffee or sweet tea, respectively.

8. Bea must always understand when Mame goes on and on about either A) Glow Worm or B) her cats.

8A. No judgements will be made against Mame if she chooses to use voices during said bragging.

9. Mame must always understand that Bea will watch Supernatural over The Office on Thursday nights.

9A. Mame reserves the right to judge Bea about this.

10. Both Mame and Bea will always make fun of each other as "white trash" but will kick someone's ass should they use this title as a bad thing.

1 comment:

"Lady" Bea said...

11. "Hold ON, I'm looking for my fucking headset/phone charger" is a totally acceptable excuse for putting your friend on hold for an hour.

12. One friend shall always telephonically entertain the other during long car trips.

13. Thou shalt not fight over Eddie Izzard. He's Mame's. The bitch saw him first.

14. The same does not apply, however, to Henry Rollins. Bea totally saw him first and introduced Mame to his work and Mame can bite Bea if she doesn't like it.

15. Text messages are encouraged. Particularly texts messages of movie and television lines.