Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Movie Review: "The Departed..." ALSO MORE SPOILERS NOW FOR FREE!1!1

So, after weeks of nagging by my brotherwhodoesnotwantmetotalkabouthimonmyblog, I finally watched "The Departed." Now, usually, I would have seen it by now. Usually, I try to see as many nominated films as possible. Usually, the Oscars are my thing. They are my Superbowl. Usually. But this year, eh. I just didn't care. The only Oscar movie I saw was "Little Miss Sunshine." And no WAY was that winning Best Picture. So, when "The Departed" won all those Oscars, I had no idea of it's quality. Yeah. It's good. I don't know if it's a Best Picture winner. I mean, obviously, it is, but yeah.


The first hour of this movie is awesome, does a beautiful job of establishing the characters, including setting the stage for some shit that happens in like, the last 5 minutes. The cast is brilliant, especially Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg and...Jack Nicholson. Anyone who knows me just did a spit-take. Sorry, y'all. I generally LOATHE Jack Nicholson with the fire of a thousand burning suns. But he's really good here. Mafia movies aren't my bag, but this one is good. But, I have several major complaints.

  1. There are lots of moles and spies and rats in this movie. ALL of them communicate by cell phone. In poorly-disguised "code." Often within earshot of the exact person who should NOT be overhearing their conversation. That exact person will often walk up to them with an inquisitive look on their face, open their mouths...and then say something that shows that they are not at all curious about the strange conversation that the person in question was having. Ugh. With "skills" like this, I could be an undercover cop. And I have trouble keeping Christmas presents a secret. Hmmm...
  2. There is a character who is a psychiatrist played by Vera Farmiga. The actress, who I've never seen in anything else, does a nice job with a pretty muddled role. Madolyn's a shrink to cops who is shacked up with Matt Damon's secretly-corrupt detective. Also, she's the worst counselor on the world. She's seeing Leo's tortured-undercover-cop for therapy, dumps him on another therapist...then sleeps with him? Huh? I mean, she and Leo are going at it and it's hot and all, but um...why is she fucking him again? We, the viewers know that Leo is a cop and a fairly decent guy, but as far as she knows, he's a low-rent hood. With greasy hair and crappy tattoos. Confidential to Leo: Wash your damn hair. And stop slicking it back. Love, Bea and Mame (who still totally loves you all these years later, on the strength of "Romeo + Juliet" and "Titanic" alone.) Are we just supposed to assume that Madolyn is just whorish? Likes to bang former patients? Because...I don't like that assumption. It's insulting. And sexist.
  3. Also, there are several "twists" that are totally unearned. They aren't even really twists. They are just plot points that come out of NOWHERE. And I'd feel like a total jerk if I just blabbed about them, but you'll know it when you see them.

That said, it IS a good movie. The casting really interesting; Matt Damon's character is a totally self-serving, practically socipathic douchbag, but I had a hard time accepting it. He was Will Hunting! He was Jason Bourne...ok, bad example. I kept saying to myself, "He can't be THIS evil! It has to be a act." Again, the perfomances are top-notch. Anthony Anderson, Martin Sheen, Ray Winstone, James Badge Dale (who was Chase on "24," but thanks to Television Without Pity, I can't think of him as anything other than "Special Agent Charlie Brown." Hee.) and our beloved, hilarious Alec Baldwin put in awesome supporting performances. I'm just not sure if it really has anything important to say other than...um...corruption is bad? Mobsters are mean? No one, but no one, wants to see Jack Nicholson throw cocaine on hookers? It's a smart, interesting action movie. The dialogue really pops, especially every line that comes out of Mark Wahlberg's mouth. Heee. I'm not sure why he's such a foul-mouthed asshole, but he cracked my shit up everytime.

Example: Camera tech guy who screwed up big time: Who the fuck are you? Mark Wahlberg: I'm the guy who does his job! You must be the other guy!



Anonymous said...

I loved this review! You are getting better and better at this blog thing.
I may or may not be prejudiced.

PS- You talk like you were raised by sailors!

Love mom

Lady Bea said...

I was!

Auntie Mame said...

I wish I was...*sigh*

Lady Bea said...

"I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum..."