Monday, March 5, 2007

Paranoia...bring your friends!

Hi! My laptop was broken! But now it's fixed! WHOOT! Enough of that. Now, I'd like to tell about a phone conversation that the good Auntie Mame and I had a few nights (more like weeks, since it was pre-broken-laptop, but that's neither here nor there.) ago. So anyway, we're chatting away about everything and nothing, like always. And she'd called me around 9:30 while I was cleaning and we'd been nattering on for like, an hour. I wanted to run the vacuum cleaner before the whole damn house fell asleep so, I told her I'd call her back. Well, I sweep like a good little housewife and then involved in looking up pictures of the boys from "Supernatural." Yeah, I'm still on that. Whatever. So anyway. Later, I go back up and there's a missed call from Mame. And I feel kinda guilty because I told her I'd be right back and it's been like, an hour. So, I call her back and we chat for a mo' and the following exchange occurs:

Mame: blah blah what's up?

Me: Sorry I didn't call you right back, I got distracted looking at hot pictures of the guys from "Supernatural" and also showing them to my mother. No, not naked ones. Hee hee hee.

Mame: [stony silence]

Me: Dude, it's not that bad! They're hot! And it's a good show!

Mame: [further stony silence]

Me: Are you judging me?! I can't believe you are JUDGING me for this! You like "Dog the Bounty Hunter!" DO NOT JUDGE ME YOU...YOU...JUDGING JUDGER WHO JUDGES!!!

Mame: [stony silence that is maybe now sounding more like a disconnected line]

Me: Du--dude? Are you...there? I'm...talking to no one at all.

[My cellphone rings. It's Mame.]

Me: Hey.

Mame: Sorry, dude. My phone got all weird. What'd I miss?

Me: ...

Mame: What? I got disconnected!

Me: What's the last thing you heard?

Mame: I heard, "Sorry I didn't..." and then nothing.

Me: *laughing hysterically*

[I proceed to fill her in on my little meltdown.]

Mame: You are so paranoid! I wouldn't judge you for that! You've done way worse. So've I. Ya freak.

[Then we talked about other shit for like, an hour and a half.]

I love her. The bitch.


Mom said...

If I didn't know you I would perhaps think you were weird and had unnatural relationships. Wait I do know you and I you're a little weird and ..................
oh sorry!

Lady Bea said...

I have no idea who this woman is. "Mom," IF THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME!!