Thursday, September 23, 2010

A PSA From Me To You...

So, I got yet another text from Mame demanding that I back her up on the two things that Jersey kids were warned against in a most dire and repetitive fashion. I immediately texted back "Escalators. Railroad tracks." Because it is true.

When I saw Mallrats for the first time, I laughed until I cried at Brodie's rant about fearing and respecting the escalator. When I was little, my father had me convinced that if I didn't hold onto my parent with one hand and have the other on the railing, my shoes tightly tied and my Cabbage Patch kid held high above the platform, the escalator would eat me. And then spit out one pigtail and a Punky Brewster hightop sneaker. And then belch and laugh like Pennywise the Clown. (By the way, googling "escalator accidents" brings up some really awesome stuff. If I ever do a sequel to this post, which is sadly likely, I'll be sure to mention escalator accidents. I'm so sorry.) I still check to make sure my shoes are tied before I step on an escalator. YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL, OK?

Mame and I (and probably Sorsha, a fellow Jersey girl) sat through SO MANY assemblies about the dangers of playing on railroad tracks. A particularly memorable one showed us goggle-eyed 7-year-olds what would happen if you stood too close to a train going past. You know what happens? Your head comes off. Then there was the terrifying one I saw when I was a teenager with a lady who got stuck on the tracks when her car stalled and her baby was in the backseat. Yeah. The baby didn't make it. TRAUMA. OK? I am SO careful on railroad tracks, you have no idea.

Escalators. Railroad tracks. What are your PSA-related childhood traumas?


EGT said...

There's a famous case about an escalator accident that we had to study in torts. Oh, also, once my great-grandmother, in her 80s or 90s, walking with a cane, fell off an escalator at a mall. I wasn't there, but it was DRAMATIC.

And we had to watch stuff about trains in drivers' ed. THOSE MOVIES ABOUT TRAIN ACCIDENTS WENT ON FOREVER.

I once read a New Yorker story in which someone killed someone else by nudging him off a crowded subway platform. That's not exactly a PSA, but I think of it twice a day, when I'm waiting on crowded subway platforms.

Oh, and look! Netvibes worked! It may have just been confused before.

Dan Mac said...

"my father had me convinced that if I didn't hold onto my parent with one hand and have the other on the railing, my shoes tightly tied and my Cabbage Patch kid held high above the platform"

Does your dad think you have 3 hands. OH MY GOD--Do you have 3 hands?!

Bea said...

AIEEEE~ Your poor grandmother, EGT! Escalators are so dangerous! I saw a "Law & Order" episode where someone shoved someone in front of a train. He'd gone off his meds, I think. It was creepy!

Dan, clearly, I'm the Sharktopus. Or a minor Hindu goddess. Did I forget to mention that? I suppose I'll have to smite you for pointing out the lack of clarity in my writing.

Bea said...

And I totally tried to hyperlink a picture of the Sharktopus in that last comment and it proved too difficult for me. I suck. Fuck HTML.

Sorsha Ni said...

Escalators are death plain & simple. If shoes are untied or kharma is after you, you're screwed! Check out THIS clip from Final Destination 4gazillion:

Railroad tracks are just as bad! We were told crack addicts used on the train tracks and there were lots of headless bodies holding pipes on a Monday morning after a weekend binge! Geesh! Check out my FAV railroad scare of the 80's:

Stay away from drains, too. These are scariest too me and NJ has lots of them. Thank you Tim Curry!

PSA: Stay home!

Doug Jeffreys said...

I was once on an escalator when some prick near the top pushed the emergency stop. I was stuck there for nearly 20 minutes until a maintenance man came along and started it again.