Sunday, September 7, 2008

Introducing Conan the Baby-rian (Yes, that's a terrible joke. No, I don't care.)

Here's how it all began...

December 30, 2007
I was spending New Year's with Mame and her family. On this particular evening, Mame, her husband Beau, his sister Agnes and I were playing 90s Trivial Pursuit. My cell phone rang and I GLADLY answered it because Beau was TROUNCING us. I mean, really. It was brutal. I looked at the Caller ID and it's Andie, which was a little odd, since she knows I'm visiting Mame.

Me: Hello?
Andie: [deep breath] I'm pregnant. Again.

At this point, Mothra, her older son (and my godson, in case you'd forgotten!) had just had his first birthday. In her voice was a mixture of happiness and sheer terror. I heard similar emotion from Sid, chattering in the background. I went into the other room and we talked for awhile. Hey, I wasn't the pregnant one, I was excited! Babies are awesome! They were excited too, just scared.

By the time I talked to them a few days later while I waited for a MILLION HOURS at the airport on my way home, they are totally psyched. I then started suggesting ridiculous baby names.

March 2008
I went to visit Sid, Andie and Mothra and we had an awesome time. Mothra is freaking ADORABLE. And incredibly bright and intense, affectionate and funny. Andie and I got together with our friend from college, Dr. Fabulous, whom we haven't seen in YEARS. The three of us met for tea/lunch, which turned into hanging out at Sid and Andie's house, which turned into dinner, which turned into sitting up and talking until pretty late at night. It rocked.

Andie's starting to show at this point. Her due date was August 30th. I patted her belly constantly (with her permission of course!), and so did Sid. When she and Mothra dropped me at the airport, I gave all three of them a kiss goodbye -- Andie, Mothra and Andie's belly.

May 2008
Andie and Sid called me one day, cracking up. They hadn't wanted to know the sex of the baby when Andie was pregnant with Mothra and they didn't want to know for this one either. I fully supported this decision because hey, there are not many real surprises in life, right?

Sid: We had an ultrasound today! (Sid speaks in perpetual exclamation points when talking about his kids. It's pretty cute.)
Me: Yeah?

Sid: We didn't mean to, but we could tell the sex!

Me: A boy, huh?

Sid: YES!

June 2008
My cell phone rang one day while I was at work. I remembered that Andie had a baby doctor appointment that day and was supposed to call me after. I answered and it's Sid, telling me in carefully controlled tones that something was off about the baby's heartbeat and they were taking Andie to the hospital in an ambulance. He was fighting rush hour traffic to get there and could I please call her and keep her company. As soon as I hang up with him, Andie's calling me.

Andie: So, I'm in an ambulance.

Me: Yeah, I heard. What's going on?

Andie tells me that the baby's heartbeat had been CRAZY fast and they needed to get it back to normal. She sounded calm, but tense. I could tell she was scared.

Me: Well, are your EMTs hot?
Andie: They are not bad-looking. One of them offered to let me wear a helmet!

Me: Um, are you?

Andie was admitted to the hospital, put on a bunch of medication and after a few days, sent home.

Andie: Maybe I'm giving birth to a hummingbird. You know? Because his heart's so fast?
Me: Hey, that's fine. We'll chase him around with sugar water and red things! He'll be a VERY HAPPY LITTLE HUMMINGBIRD.

I then refer to the baby as "the hummingbird" pretty much until he's born.

The she was put in the hospital AGAIN, because the baby's heart rate was still crazy. The situation is getting dire, they baby's heart rate CANNOT continue like this. If they can't get it down, they might have to deliver, which would be really early. And early is not good. At this point, I drove out to see them and help out with Mothra.

Sid and I had quite the adventure wrangling a rather out-of-sorts Mothra. He was tantrummy and cranky and missed his mom. Not hard to understand, but trying to deal with. The next day, we took Mothra to daycare and went to hang out with Andie at the hospital. We learn that the baby's heart rate has been stable for almost 24 hours. If he hits the 24-hour mark, Andie can go home. I got to see an ultrasound of the baby's heart and watch them do...something where you could hear the heartbeat and see little soundwaves on a screen. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Much later, a nurse comes in while the three of us are playing 80s Trivial Pursuit (see a theme?) and tells Andie she's being discharged. I have never seen a pregnant woman move so fast as Andie did to get dressed and packed to go. No lie, we cleared that room in like, 10 minutes. I leave a few days later, feeling much better about the whole situation, having had a stern talk with the Hummingbird about CALMING DOWN and not scaring us anymore.

July 2008
During one of Andie's tri-weekly doctor visits, they discovered that the Hummingbird's heart rate was STILL beating far too quickly and there were other problems as well. The doctors were going to try a new medication and give it 24 hours. If his heart isn't settled down by then, they were going to induce.

Instead of inducing, they ended up doing an emergency c-section.

(Note: Part Two to follow, but everything turned out fine. Andie is fine and Baby Conan [Formerly The Hummingbird] is doing well. )


Anonymous said...

Made me sniffle...

-Lipstick Chick from Alaska

"Lady" Bea said...

Thanks, Lipstick Chick. It's nice of you to comment! :)

"Lady" Bea said...

Aaaand apparently that comment was from Sid. And I was "supposed to know that." Sigh.