Monday, September 24, 2007

Church Giggles...or why Bea and I can't together at funerals

Bea and I have what we prefer to call the "Church Giggles." It's an epidemic that we have yet to find a cure for. Whenever there is a very serious situation that we are both a party to, there is going to be laughter that we try to hide with coughs. It's rather amusing to watch, except when it's your serious situation we are laughing at.

For our newest top ten, we have come up with "Top Ten Movies We Laugh at But Really Shouldn't." Please to enjoy:

  1. Titanic To be fair, even I cried at certain scenes during the Titanic's submerging (like the mother reading to her two children and putting them to bed because she knows there is no hope, or the old couple holding each other and him telling her not to be afraid). But for the majority of this movie, I was cracking up. I couldn't stop. The scenes of people falling and smacking into the rudders looked like a pin-ball machine on tilt.

  2. The Way We Were Being a Carol Channing fan, I was sworn to hate anything that Barbara Streisand has ever made; it's true, we had to sign off on it in blood. But she's so damn annoying in this movie that in the end when he tells her that he won't be 'looking her up' I crack up. OK, there were some sad scenes, but the movie as a whole is awkward and silly.

  3. Oh, Bea is so going to hate me for this one A Walk to Remember. Admit it, it's funny. How Bea didn't know she was going to die, I'll never know, but I got the giggles when he went back to her father's house and gave him the poetry book. Like, "Sorry you lost your wife and your daughter, but here is a book." For some reason it was too funny for words.

  4. A Love Story Get over it. "Love means never having to say you're sorry..." bull shit. Love means having to say you're sorry over and over again, half the time just for your breathing habits. This movie is nothing more than a trite story line that is made to make you cry. Ergo, I refuse to let it.

  5. Snakes on a Plane
  6. Oh Beau, this one is for you. He was watching this 'horror' movie and laughing so hard that I had to peek in. You know this entire movie was started because of a BAD SNL skit, right? I'm serious; look it up.

  7. Kramer vs. Kramer
    Even with the birth of Glow Bug I can't get into this movie. Your kid fell down and cracked his head because you were flirting, yeah you deserve a little guilt over it. The kid didn't die, he's fine. The mother walked out, the idea that she would get custody of him because he fell and hurt his head is not even applicable.

  8. The Godfather
    Bea and I laugh so hard at this movie that I can't even watch stereotypes of Italians without loosing it. The scene where Sonny bites his fist after seeing Connie all beat up is hilarious. The scene where Connie gets beat up is hilarious. The scene where Marlon Brando dies is hilarious. Oh man, I'm laughing again.

  9. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
  10. Oh come on!! He doesn't even try to have a fake accent. And you know what, that's not even his real butt in the lake scene. And you know what else, they didn't use the word fuck as a verb back then (as in "Fuck me, he cleared it") and you know what else...ah, forget it...

  11. Last of the Mohicans
  12. I hate this movie with every sliver in my being. Last of the Mohicans the book, was the reason I became an English major. I love the entire Leather Stocking tales and this movie butchers it TO PIECES!! TO PIECES I TELL YOU! If they had just made a movie and called it something else, I might have liked it; it was an enjoyable storyline. But it WAS NOT the story line from Last of the Mohicans. Not at all.

  13. Sliver
    Oh THIS movie. This was the first soft-core porn I had ever seen and I was like, 14 when I saw it. Billy Baldwin has a nice ass, that's about all I can say about it. Even at 14 I laughed at why our dear heroine Sharon Stone didn't realize that guy was a stalker or that good old boy was a killer I'll never know. It's hilarious.


Mamma Mia said...

Dude -- how can you forget Meet Joe Black?? Props for the funniest "oh the car just missed him" to "damn -- he just got nailed by that bus" scene EVER!!!

EGT said...

I will tell you the true tragedy of "Love Story." The novel was written by a Harvard professor during summer vacation, just as a lark, you know. He published it because, why not make a little extra money? It became this huge phenomenon and then all the other professors at Harvard made fun of him because it's really not good, and he could never hold up his head at Harvard again, no matter how many times he said he was sorry. It was sad for him.

Also: Cranston, Rhode Island? Yeah, I've never understood that bit at all.

"Lady" Bea said...

Sure, we love the scene where Brando dies in "The Godfather," but did our buddy Marlon have a story about it in his autobiography, "Songs My Mother Taught Me?" I'm sure he DID!