Tuesday, August 7, 2007

The Two Sides of Lindsay Lohan...or one of the few things that Bea and Mame don't agree on.

So, as the first in Mame's and my Point/Counterpoint Series, (or whatever we're going to call it when someone -- probably her-- thinks up a better name!): Lindsey Lohan: Talented Trainwreck or Waste of Precious Oxygen and Even More Precious Celebrity Gossip?

Bea Says:
Oh my GOD, you guys. So, it's been awhile, my computer had herpes or something, now it's all better. Whatever. Apparently, while I was visiting STD clinics with my laptop, Lindsey Lohan got herself all arrested for like, a DUI or something. Huh. Didn't see that coming. No, not at aaaall. Clearly, I'm not going to defend the DUI. That's indefensible and totally assy. And something I will never understand. If...you're RICH AND FAMOUS, can't you afford to PAY someone to drive you around? Why would you get all ripshit and then drive to Jamba Juice when you can get all ripshit and make your minions drive you to Jamba Juice? (A side note: Mmmm...Jamba Juice.) I digress.

But, I like Lindsey Lohan. There. I said it. I think she's cute and talented. She's got some serious problems, but you know who else does? Robert Downey Jr. I mean, who would have thought he'd still have a career? But he totally does. And he rocked the hell out of his role in Good Night and Good Luck. LOVE that guy. ANYWAY.

Remember how good she was in The Parent Trap? Shut up, a friend made me watch it in college. But it's cute! And she's really cute in it! And she was REALLY good in Freaky Friday! I love that movie! I don't care who knows it! And she does a really great job of acting like Jamie Lee Curtis. Make of that what you will.

And then we have Mean Girls. Who doesn't love Mean Girls? It's so funny! Sure, Lindsey isn't the only great thing about it; you've got the whole written-by-Tina-Fey-thing and Rachel McAdam is in it and I kind of love her and Tim Meadows and okay, the whole supporting cast rocks, including Dead Lilly Kane from Veronica Mars. But it's a great movie and Lindsey is great in it.

I haven't seen Prairie Home Companion yet, but I will and I'm not seeing Georgia Rule because I have Jane Fonda issues and I totally can't WAIT to rent I Know Who Killed Me and mock it with my brother because you KNOW that shit is going to be terrible. So, I'll keep you posted on all that.

And come on, you know Lindsey's "Daughter to Father" video was totally awesome in that "HOLY CRAP, is THAT some overwrought shit" kind of way. But anyway, my point here is...wait. What WAS my point? Somehow this post became less about Lindsey Lohan and more about my terrible taste in movies... Oh yeah. She's talented and maybe rehab will be good for her. And she can do a decent movie. No more crappy thrillers. And by a quick visit to IMDB, that looks like what she's got on deck next. No, no, NO. She needs to do a cute romantic comedy! Or a smart comedy! Something with "comedy" in it. Girl's got good timing. Her SNL appearances have been good. Not as good as Justin "Dick in a Box" Timberlake's, but still, I'm pulling for her!
Because seriously? She's not ONE TENTH as annoying as Hilary freakin' Duff. Ugh. HATE her.

Auntie Mame Says:
I hate Lindsay Lohan. Seriously, I hate her. There is no reason for her to get as much attention as she does; the fact that she had two fun movies when she was a tweener is no excuse for her to think that she deserves a career now. Saying that she was ‘good in that new movie The Parent Trap’ is like saying that Steve Augeri is great in ‘that new group Journey’: there was an original and you neither forget nor fuck with the original.

As for her performance in Mean Girls: the book that the movie is based on Queen Bees and Wannabes was so good, you could have put my left ass cheek in it and it would have been good, saying nothing for the amazing performances of the supporting cast.

Lindsay needs to go away. For good. It all started when she was quoted as saying, “College can wait, it isn’t that important anyway.” She’s not in touch with the real world. Well, who can blame her: look who she comes from. Ugh, her mother. Dina Lohan reminds me of someone with a freakishly similar name: Dana Plato; not in touch with reality, a little too coked out, and a little too sure that she ‘deserves’ her fame. I agree with Bea that Lindsay's music (if you can call it that) video was terrific, but come on, if you are going to air your dirty laundry out in the open, don’t get pissed when someone looks at it. “Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.” Fuck off, please respect my ears and eyes and go away. Why am I the only one who gets annoyed by stars who say they want their privacy then go out to purposely get seen and photographed by paparazzi? I believe that by now if the paparazzi did leave her alone, she would have no career at all.

Say whatever you will about Hillary Duff, she's a smart kid. She only goes out with her sister so someone can keep an eye on her if she does something stupid. Also, she doesn't really do the insane party until 3AM shit, and because of this she isn't in the paper every five minutes so even if she does screw up, we wouldn't know it.

I will not see a movie with Lindsay in it, except if she gets maimed or the sort. I get so annoyed because when the head of a major production company (Morgan Creek) tells you that you’re an unprofessional beotch, you had better listen and change your ways. When the [worst] of a famous Hollywood family (Jane Fonda) who is related to some of the best drunks we’ve had the privilege of reading about says you need to ‘calm down’ you’d better calm the f down!!

What ever happened to the old saying, “You’ll never work in this town again”?!

1 comment:

Bea's mom said...

The two of you make some good points so I will reserve judgement and let time tell. Of course she may take care of it all by ODing or running her car head on into a tree and die tragically young and thus become immortalized. Mame would you be happy or sad??