You may not know this about me, but I'm clumsy. Really clumsy. Like, ridiculously. In the past year, I've fallen down the stairs at least 4 times. Once, breaking or really badly bruising, my tailbone. I didn't go to the doctor because I didn't feel like dealing with an x-ray and what were they going to do? Literally put my ass in a sling? But lemme tell you, injuring your tailbone REALLY fucking hurts. For a REALLY long time. Like, two months. So, take my advice, and don't do that. When I fell for like, the millionth time, my BrotherWDWMTTAHOMB (which will now be shortened to BW, because I'm sick of typing all that out.) looked at me and said:
BW: So, you fell down the stairs again?
Me: Yes
BW: So, if you ever get married and are all bruised up, it really WILL be because you fell down the steps, not because dinner was late?
Me: Yes.
BW: Huh.
Then I told him to shut up and went to put ice on my ass.
But recently, I had what might be my stupidest injury ever. I cut my little finger on an unseen piece of metal on a file cabinet at work. I had to go get a tetanus shot*. I had to fill out an incident report. ABOUT MY PINKY. I had a hard time not making the incident report sound completely sarcastic. Now, all the higher-ups at work, to whom I try to appear reasonably smart and competent, know that I am a clumsy dork. Well, it's not like they weren't going to find out. Eventually.
Oh yeah, and the other night? I walked into a door. It hurt.
*When I got home, aching arm and professionally-bandaged pinky and all, I looked up "tetanus" on Wikipedia. BOY, was I glad I got that shot! Tetanus is NASTY. EW. People, update your shots! You DON'T want to go out like that. [shudders.]
Saturday, April 21, 2007
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2 comments:
Well, at least you fell down the stairs. It is much harder to explain falling up the stairs. Believe me. I know. And, yeah, I have like 30 little bruises everywhere from helping mom pack up the house. I think that they call it "capillary fragility." No shit. I think that there REALLY is a term for us bruise-meisters. I swear, I am not getting bruised by "Michael" or anything. Well, TRY and not run into doors and stuff for the next couple of days. xoxoxoxoxo
~Josephine
Oh, I can TRY not to run into shit. Doesn't matter. I'll still walk into doors and people and trees, etc. And I have also fallen UP the stairs! Heheheheheh.
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