Saturday, April 21, 2007

I fell down. Again. Oops? Yeah, oops.

You may not know this about me, but I'm clumsy. Really clumsy. Like, ridiculously. In the past year, I've fallen down the stairs at least 4 times. Once, breaking or really badly bruising, my tailbone. I didn't go to the doctor because I didn't feel like dealing with an x-ray and what were they going to do? Literally put my ass in a sling? But lemme tell you, injuring your tailbone REALLY fucking hurts. For a REALLY long time. Like, two months. So, take my advice, and don't do that. When I fell for like, the millionth time, my BrotherWDWMTTAHOMB (which will now be shortened to BW, because I'm sick of typing all that out.) looked at me and said:

BW: So, you fell down the stairs again?
Me: Yes
BW: So, if you ever get married and are all bruised up, it really WILL be because you fell down the steps, not because dinner was late?
Me: Yes.
BW: Huh.
Then I told him to shut up and went to put ice on my ass.

But recently, I had what might be my stupidest injury ever. I cut my little finger on an unseen piece of metal on a file cabinet at work. I had to go get a tetanus shot*. I had to fill out an incident report. ABOUT MY PINKY. I had a hard time not making the incident report sound completely sarcastic. Now, all the higher-ups at work, to whom I try to appear reasonably smart and competent, know that I am a clumsy dork. Well, it's not like they weren't going to find out. Eventually.

Oh yeah, and the other night? I walked into a door. It hurt.

*When I got home, aching arm and professionally-bandaged pinky and all, I looked up "tetanus" on Wikipedia. BOY, was I glad I got that shot! Tetanus is NASTY. EW. People, update your shots! You DON'T want to go out like that. [shudders.]


Anonymous said...

Well, at least you fell down the stairs. It is much harder to explain falling up the stairs. Believe me. I know. And, yeah, I have like 30 little bruises everywhere from helping mom pack up the house. I think that they call it "capillary fragility." No shit. I think that there REALLY is a term for us bruise-meisters. I swear, I am not getting bruised by "Michael" or anything. Well, TRY and not run into doors and stuff for the next couple of days. xoxoxoxoxo

Lady Bea said...

Oh, I can TRY not to run into shit. Doesn't matter. I'll still walk into doors and people and trees, etc. And I have also fallen UP the stairs! Heheheheheh.