Friday, January 19, 2007

Randomer than...a thing that is...really random

I decided that if Mame can compose a funny post of listy, randomy things, so can I! Only I'm not doing it to clear space in my brain. My brain is full of useless knowledge. Seriously, if I could ditch old phone numbers, names of every freakin' teacher I've ever had and New Kids on the Block (shut up) song lyrics, there's no telling what I could accomplish. I could probably learn quantum physics. But, alas. It's not to be. (Here's the part where I was going to post a sample of the New Kids lyrics that are lodged in my memory, but got too embarassed. As I should have. I'll try to preserve some dignity, even at this late date.)

Anyway. I love the Food Network as much as my co-blogger does. And while I agree with many of her choices for most-hated Food Network personality: can't stand Mario and his clogs and his penchant for making things with squid or Bobby Flay, who just seems like such a jerk and had BETTER NOT be mean to Blonde ADA from Law and Order: SVU. BETTER NOT. I mean it, BOBBY. But she left out the worst. My most-hated. OH DEAR GOD INA GARTEN. CAN'T. STAND. HER. Soooooooo pretentious. Yet, I watch her show. Every week. Heh, I suck. My mom and I watch it just to mock and loathe. It's such fun. (To be fair, whenever we've tried one of her recipes, it's come out great, but that just adds to the resentment. Like, "Oooooh, aren't my recipes so wonderful and even you stupid proles can do it!" Heee.) But I do love you, Rachael Ray (but just 3o Minute Meals and $40 a Day, I don't have time for your other shit.), Michael Chiarello (so cute!), Paula Deen and her two dopey sons, Dave Lieberman (even cuter!) and Alton Brown. Oh Alton, why aren't we married? Oh, because you're like, 20 years older than me, already married and we've never met? Well, that explains it. Aw, too bad!

Some other random thoughts I've had lately:
  • I just saw a preview for a new movie with Diane Keaton, some romantic comedy thing called Because I Said So. Ok, it looks fine, whatever but, apparently her love interest is...the annoying, hypocritical dad from Seventh Heaven? SERIOUSLY? REV CAM?! This is after Something's Gotta Give and kissing...Jack Nicholson? Oh honey. YOU WERE ANNIE FRICKIN' HALL. YOU ARE FABULOUS. You can do better than that! WAY BETTER. Sure, you can't dress yourself for awards show and that makes me want to pinch you, but you are pushing 6o and looking AWESOME. Find a movie where you get to make out with someone hot. Please.
  • Last night's episode of The Office? WHOOOOT! Yay for Jim and Pam. You know it's bad when this: "...Yeah." is all it takes to make me shriek with glee. (No, for real. Just ask my viewing companions who wished for ear plugs for themselves. And some restraint from me. Not gonna happen!) Seriously, I am not going to be able to control my squeeing and bouncing when they finally do get together. And THEY WILL. Don't make me come over there, The Office. I demand a happy ending at some point. Mame and I have yet to conduct our thorough, exacting analysis of last night's episode. But we will. Count on it.
  • Apropos of nothing, (but so is this entire post!) I'm terrified that Barack Obama is going to break my heart. I love him SO MUCH right now and I'm just petrified that something is going to happen to crush my innocence. AGAIN. There's just so many hopes hanging on this guy. Hope he doesn't fuck up!


Auntie Mame said...

Hmm...maybe in an effort to not crush your innocence (referring of course to Barak), maybe you shouldn't make out with someone from his campaign? Hmm? Maybe that will help? Maybe it won't ruin his chances? Hmm? Maybe?

Lady Bea said...

*blinks innocently* I'm sure I don't know what you mean.