Thursday, February 11, 2010

Worst. Date. (Movie.) Ever.

So, I read this article about the worst date movies of all time and oh, it reminded me of a story. Ok, we're back in time to this era. I'd started seeing a very nice guy, Pong. Pong had the stupendous luck to be the first guy I dated after Ex and boy, was I a treat.

Anyway, he and I had just started hanging out and I was desperately trying to appear, you know, NORMAL and not batshit crazy. A losing game all around, really. One night, Pong came over to my apartment to watch a movie. Now, you may have noticed about me that I like movies. I have a lot of them. Also, I was managing a video store at the time so there were always tons of screeners and rentals hanging about. So, I told Pong to pick one of my movies.

The movie he chooses? Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. I KNOW, RIGHT? (If you've never seen the film, it's the prequel to the television series. It's a David Lynch film. 'Nuff said, right? It's full of freakishness, violence and sex. Lots and lots of really weird, kinky, rapey sex.) I froze and said, "Uh, are you sure?" and Pong was like, "Yep!" and I was like, "Have you SEEN that movie before?" and he was like, "No, but I've heard it's good. It's good, right?" and I had to be all, "...Yes" becaues it's true. It IS good. It's just...disturbing. REALLY, REALLY DISTURBING.

Cut to 45 or so minutes later...

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY LIFE. I'm scrunched in the corner of the couch with my hand half covering my face. Pong is very pointedly not looking at me. I think I cracked around the time we got to the scenes of father/daughter incest and just yelped, "CAN WE PLEASE WATCH SOMETHING ELSE?!" and Pong said, "DEAR GOD, YES." So much for appearing "normal." I owned the damn movie. Heh.



EGT said...

You are a crazy person. You should have just said that it was disturbing and you didn't feel like watching it that night!

Auntie Mame said...

You could have stopped after your first sentence.

Bea said...

To both of you: Tbbbbbbbbbtttthhhh!

Sorsha Ni said...

Ooooooo! I have one about "My Best Friend's Wedding". Totally uncomfortable. But I will save it for my blog.

Doug Jeffreys said...

It could have been worse. He could have met your uncles.