Friday, February 26, 2010

The Olympics: 2010 and 2008

Ok, I am a lifelong sports hater. Hate. Hate. HATE. I am actively hostile to sports*, all sporting events and most fans when they try to talk to me about sports. Sports fans are almost as bad as fans of The Family Guy for how much they try to talk to you, the uninterested party, about their favored topic. (Sorry, guys. I dislike The Family Guy. No, I don't think it's offensive. I just don't find it funny. You can describe scenes from it, many have tried: Mame, Beau, BW, Homer, my friend from work Vett...it just doesn't work for me. That's not quite true. It'll SOUND funny to me when you tell me about it, but then I go to watch it and...Zzzzzzz...)

BUT I LOVE THE OLYMPICS. Particularly the Winter Olympics! Figure skating! Speed skating! Skiing! Snowboarding! Sports I don't understand like curling and bobsledding (EGT and I can't comprehend how this is a sport. Is it a sport of...leaning?) and...skeleton? What the hell is skeleton? BOB COSTAS. I don't have a crush on him but I do enjoy him!

Speaking of crushes...do you know who I DO have a crush on? That mean Russian figure skater. Evgeni Plushenko! The meaner and crankier he is, the more I adore him. Do yourself a favor...go to Youtube and type in his name and "sex bomb." You won't regret it. (Sorsha sure didn't!) Or maybe you will but it's HILARIOUS. I won't link to it because the discovery is half the joy. He sort of reminds me of Maureen in one of my very favorite guilty pleasure movies, Center Stage. "I am the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy! Who the hell are you? Nobody!" HA.

I've always loved the Olympics, but this year, especially while watching the Opening Ceremonies, I was reminded of the last time I watched the Olympics. It was (...obviously) in 2008 when Conan was first born. He came home from the hospital the first time right around the Summer Games. I'd come out for a few days to visit and help out and see everyone. We had a whole system. Conan had to get several medications at different intervals, something like every 4 and 6 hours. Andie would do his evening meds and then go to bed. Sid and I would stay up until 2 am or so and do that round of medication. Then Andie would get up and do the next round. (And when I say "Sid and I," I mean, "I would HOLD the baby and Sid would actually dose and administer the medication." He's no fool, ok.) And while Sid and I would sit up late, we'd watch the Olympics! We'd trade Conan back and forth, cuddling him and talking to him. We watched Michael Phelps kick Olympic ass and make history. I...might have had a teeeeny crush on him around the time of those games. Whatever, who didn't? It was a scary time because Conan was on a heart monitor that sounded like a smoke detector to alert his parents to his heart rate. But it was a sweet time, too. Because Conan was home where he belonged, with his family and we were so, so grateful.

This year, when I call Sid and Andie to talk about the Games, I hear Mothra and Conan in the background yelling at each other. Running around. Breaking things. Andie says things like, "Mothra! Don't put that up your nose!" and "Conan! STOP CLIMBING THAT."

*This does not include going to actual baseball games. I like to go to baseball games. It's fun. But watching it on tv is...not fun. For me.

3 comments:

Sorsha Ni said...

Phelps was and is hot. I don't care of he hits the bong and bangs his brains out. I would too if I had his body and a gold medal swagger. But I would use a condom...no, I would double bag it. "Sex Bomb" is the best skating routine I have EVER watched...EVER! When the pants rip off...*gasp & giggle* Lysacek...I swoon over Mr. Dimples. SWOON I SAY! But not enough for DWTS. HATE IT!

I don't get curling. It's like the young persons precusor to shuffle board on a cruise ship with AARP folks. It doesn't compute!

Dr. Fabulous said...

Love. Love. LOVE you for your hatred of sports. :)

Bea said...

Sorsha - I LOVE THE RUSSIAN SO MUCH. We could double date with! He and Dimples would get into a fist fight over quadruple jumps and surely clothes would be torn in the process! It would be win-win!

Dr. F - SPORTS HATER SOLIDARITY.